Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Eidolon ❯ A Realisation ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: KatsuyaKaiba 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Horror / Romance / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.09.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 211 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Horror / Romance / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.09.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 211 | Status: Completed
Eidolon
A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba
AN: I find that music enhances the ultimate fanfiction experience. An incredibly sad chapter read whilst listening to incredibly sad music promotes further sadness, and so on. I should make a soundtrack for my fiction, wouldn't that be the coolest? I find that reading The Urgency of Life in silence induces a feeling of desperation and slight suicidal tendencies. However, I underwent an experimental process in which I read the last two chapters over and over again while listening to Gackt's "Last Song" on repeat. Let the misery flow... I reccommend this sort of reckless behaviour only if you are secure in your sense of self worth, and you have an incredibly exiting reason to live until tomorrow. Go on. Try it. Pull up your favorite Seto and Joey deathfic and read it while blasting that song in the background.
I do not condone suicide, by the way (unless your name is Seto). Just unhealthy levels of angst. Smile at the shiny shiny sun, for here begins more misery.
Grabbing my coat from the closet and slipping it on in a rush, I quietly opened the front door that Seto had slammed shut behind him less than a minute ago. At first I only opened it wide enough so I could see which way he had gone, but after scanning the driveway for a few moments I realized he had already gone. He hadn't taken a car. Where in the world could he be going on foot? Seto hated to walk, no matter how close the destination.
Frowning at this realization, I pulled my head back inside the house and shut the door. Should I follow him? Sneakily trailing someone down a public street was a pretty high profile activity, and even if he somehow failed to notice me, I knew that someone else might not. But still... He was acting so hatefully towards me, not to mention aggressively secretive. I made up my mind in that instant. I refused to let this feeling inside of me grow any deeper or spread any further. I opened the door and walked outside, locking the house up behind me.
I ran down to the sidewalk and just before I stepped off the driveway, I remembered suddenly that I needed to stay low until I could find out which way Seto had gone. I ducked down behind a bush and glanced first to the right, saw no one in that direction and quickly scanned over to the left. Perfect. There he was, sticking out like the sore thumb he was.
For the first time, I thanked the gods above that Seto was such an easy target. Who the hell wouldn't notice him from a mile away? Even if you couldn't see him personally, you would surely be able to identify that ridiculous trenchcoat from any vantage point. This might be easier than I had expected. Seto was quite far away from me at this point, his demanding stride had taken him pretty far in the short time that had elapsed since his departure. I stood up from the hedge and set off in his direction, hoping that he wouldn't turn to look anytime soon. There weren't anymore bushes to take cover under for a good fifty feet, maybe more. I sped up my pace, anxious to be out of plain sight, but at the same time not wanting to close too much of the space berween us. I decided just to make a quick sprint for the next house with a bush, and upon reaching it, I ducked behind it and peeked out, looking for Seto. He apparently hadn't noticed me, or anything else for that matter. He seemed to be in a sort of daze, paying even less attention to the surrounding world than ever before. The distance between us was small, since I had run as fast as I could to the spot where I now hid, and from this close I could see that his head was downcast, merely watching the rise and fall of his own footsteps and nothing else.
What could have happened to Seto that could rob him of his own stubborn pride? He seemed so...hopeless, as though he had lost something so precious. I wondered if Kaiba Corp. was in danger. Seto's company was the only thing I could think of that might be able to affect him this deeply. Still, whatever it was, it still wasn't any excuse for the way he had been acting towards me. If something bad had happened, why couldn't he just tell me? I knew that Seto wasn't really the 'sharing type', but he had always told me things like this before, the important things that affected him. What if the problem was me? What if he...was no longer in love with me?
I never even gave the thought a chance to develop. Seto still loved me, I knew he did. He would have told me if he didn't...wouldn't he? Oh God. Maybe he couldn't think of a way to tell me. Maybe he...
Once again, I pushed the notion away and focused on the moment before me. Whatever it was, I would know sooner or later, and making assumptions would only lead me into panic. Seto had gotten quite far ahead of me by then, and I watched him carefully for any signs of awareness. He strode on thoughtlessly, following a path that he must have known well, for him to be able to walk so carelessly towards whatever destination he had in mind. Feeling strangely confident, I stood up once again and followed behind him. He was so far away by then that I could hardly make him out in the distance, and I picked up my pace to try and keep him within sight.
I followed him for what seemed to me to be hours at best, although it must have been about forty five minutes before he finally slowed to a stop. He stood silently and gazed up at the black rod iron of the Domino Cemetary gates. After standing still for a moment and staring upwards, he forced himself to step inside and continued on the cement path that wound within and without the graves.
I blankly stared at the unexpected sight. What was Seto doing here? From my hiding place just around the corner of a nearby building, I watched him make his way through the headstones, blankly staring at a place just in front of him and never once turning his head. Whoever he had come here to see, he certainly knew exactly where to find them.
Had someone important to him died? I shook my head absentmindedly, dismissing the thought. Seto didn't really care a whole lot about anyone, and certainly not enough to actually make such a tremendous effort as to visit them in death. He didn't really have very much use for the living, let alone the dead. But still, there was no other reason for Seto to be here. If someone important had died, I would definitely have known. Or at least, I thought that I would have known. Maybe he was supposed to meet someone here. How discreetly morbid.
I stood there for so long, trying to make sense out of what I saw, that I nearly lost Seto again. I ran out from my hiding spot and dashed through the gates. Inside the cemetary there were endless amounts of greenery and clustered trees, so hiding wouldn't pose too much of a problem. I just needed to know where I should hide in order get a clear line of vision to whoever Seto was here to see. I wove throughout the scattered trees, realizing that the cemetary was far less crowded than the streets of Domino had been and my being noticed here was far more likely. It seemed as though we were the only two people here. Well, the only two living people. I chuckled nervously at my inside joke and tried to laugh off the awful feeling that had been gathering within me ever since I set foot in the graveyard. I didn't want to be here at all. I hoped that whatever Seto had come here to do, he would hurry up and get it over and done with.
He sharply turned to the right and walked off the cemetary path, following a beaten earthy trail that I could easily see he had taken before, many times. Watching him from behind a particularily large tree, I saw him stop suddenly, pausing before a particular headstone. I was glad for that, it was no more than ten or twelve feet away from the tree I hid behind, and although the grave itself was faced completely away from me, this made it possible for me to see Seto's face very clearly. He seemed to be very intent on not looking at the grave itself, but rather the dirt just before it. Not once had his eyes scanned over the words on the stone, and my curiosity began to grow dangerously. Now that we were here, I desperately wanted to see just who it was that we had come all this way to visit.
I was taking care to remain undetected, and I only leaned forward just enough so that one of my eyes could see beyond the tree, and I was sure that Seto would never notice me unless he was truly looking. I wasn't really so worried about it because he seemed to be very occupied with whatever it was that held him so still before the grave. Suddenly he moved, and I was startled but I held myself still, dying with curiosity to see what it was that he had come here to do. He kneeled before the grave, and as I watched his face I saw him lift his gaze upward and and his eyes settled across the words on the stone, the name of whoever it was he had come to see.
I couldn't do anything but stare, even as Seto fell to the ground and the look of longing and loss swept his features. All I could do was watch it happen. I felt so awful about it, even though I knew that he would no doubt feel even worse if he found that he was being watched, still, it was becoming so very hard to keep still and silent. I wanted so badly to help him, to know what it was that tortured him so much. I saw the first of many tears slowly make their way across his face, and within moments I felt my own tears falling fast in response. Just the sight of his pain nearly had me drowning in my own, I so desperately needed to make all of this somehow better. I bit back the urge to run out from where I hid, and continued to watch quietly.
Seto was kneeling still, his eyes clenched shut as if he had to keep from seeing what was truly before him. He didn't want to see it, whatever it was. The tears continued to fall down his face, escaping from the corners of his tightly shut eyes until he suddenly opened them once more, and stared defiantly into the space between us, occupied by the grave.
"I can't tell you what's happened. I'm sorry..." Seto's voice was faint and barely made it's way to my ears, even though he and I were so close. Rarely did I ever hear him speak that way, and the very sound of it hurt me in a strange place deep inside. Seto was so proud and strong, and to sit back helplessly and listen to the sound of that shattered pride was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I never wanted Seto to be anything but happy, forever...
"I won't let you do this. I can't..." He stood up abruptly and stared down at the dirt below, taking control of himself as I suspected he might do, as I had hoped he would. I didn't know how much longer I would have been able to watch him suffer like that.
"I refuse to allow you to throw this all away. It's been far too long. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. Just don't go. Don't leave me here...because I will not go on if you do. Not without you."
Without wasting another second, Seto quickly walked away, back to the path and out of the cemetary. I watched him as he went, wondering if I should wait awhile before following him. If he made it home before I did, I knew he would probably raise hell trying to find me. But I was afraid to try and beat him home without being noticed. And I would have to make absolutely sure that I was not seen. Now that I knew where he had gone, it was even more important for me to make sure that he never knew that I had seen him. I didn't even want to think about what might happen if he found that I had spied on him. I would have to stay out of the house for awhile and come back in a few hours. I could always lie about where I had been, but if I came home mere minutes after he did, I knew it would look way too suspicious. No, I'd have to wait awhile. So in the meantime, I decided to see about this dead person. The desire to know was driving me crazy and now that Seto was finally out of sight, I ran out from behind the tree and stood in front of the grave.
My eyes fell upon the letters carved into the stone, and I stood fast where I was, trying to understand, but reason simply would not come. My mind, in pure shock and disbelief, refused to acknowledge the obvious facts and instead I felt the same wordless and unformed phrase endlessly driving on in my head, the same unanswered question spiralling out of control. Never mind who this was, just never mind, it doesn't matter...
I read and re-read the words, until they blurred and became illegible, then invisible to my eyes. That was my name, wasn't it? Joey Wheeler. That is my name. It is. But I'm not in there. I can't be. Because I'm still here, still alive...
I fell to my own knees, and painfully cried out for something I thought I had never lost.
AN: Ooooh, boy. You know, I'm a really happy person. I think it's just that my life is so devoid of any angst, I feel the need to torture these poor boys. Especially Joey. I never let him have a good day. Or year, life, whatever. I command thee to be sad! He's such a good kid, though. Oh, a note to anyahs ayalec- dude. i'm so un-good at lemons. I'm really all about the angst. Believe me, I would be so freakin happy to write a lemon that I felt confident about. That would be all I would write. I would quit my job, just so I could stay home and write lemons all day, and then read them. But alas, this is not the case. I'm surprised that I've been writing so much. I just got Digital Demon Saga and I haven't even really slept since I got it, let alone try to live a functional life outside the Junkyard. As always, if you liked it the story-thing, tell me. Cause if you don't then I won't know. How sad I would be.
Converting /tmp/phphmyUJy to /dev/stdout
A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba
AN: I find that music enhances the ultimate fanfiction experience. An incredibly sad chapter read whilst listening to incredibly sad music promotes further sadness, and so on. I should make a soundtrack for my fiction, wouldn't that be the coolest? I find that reading The Urgency of Life in silence induces a feeling of desperation and slight suicidal tendencies. However, I underwent an experimental process in which I read the last two chapters over and over again while listening to Gackt's "Last Song" on repeat. Let the misery flow... I reccommend this sort of reckless behaviour only if you are secure in your sense of self worth, and you have an incredibly exiting reason to live until tomorrow. Go on. Try it. Pull up your favorite Seto and Joey deathfic and read it while blasting that song in the background.
I do not condone suicide, by the way (unless your name is Seto). Just unhealthy levels of angst. Smile at the shiny shiny sun, for here begins more misery.
Grabbing my coat from the closet and slipping it on in a rush, I quietly opened the front door that Seto had slammed shut behind him less than a minute ago. At first I only opened it wide enough so I could see which way he had gone, but after scanning the driveway for a few moments I realized he had already gone. He hadn't taken a car. Where in the world could he be going on foot? Seto hated to walk, no matter how close the destination.
Frowning at this realization, I pulled my head back inside the house and shut the door. Should I follow him? Sneakily trailing someone down a public street was a pretty high profile activity, and even if he somehow failed to notice me, I knew that someone else might not. But still... He was acting so hatefully towards me, not to mention aggressively secretive. I made up my mind in that instant. I refused to let this feeling inside of me grow any deeper or spread any further. I opened the door and walked outside, locking the house up behind me.
I ran down to the sidewalk and just before I stepped off the driveway, I remembered suddenly that I needed to stay low until I could find out which way Seto had gone. I ducked down behind a bush and glanced first to the right, saw no one in that direction and quickly scanned over to the left. Perfect. There he was, sticking out like the sore thumb he was.
For the first time, I thanked the gods above that Seto was such an easy target. Who the hell wouldn't notice him from a mile away? Even if you couldn't see him personally, you would surely be able to identify that ridiculous trenchcoat from any vantage point. This might be easier than I had expected. Seto was quite far away from me at this point, his demanding stride had taken him pretty far in the short time that had elapsed since his departure. I stood up from the hedge and set off in his direction, hoping that he wouldn't turn to look anytime soon. There weren't anymore bushes to take cover under for a good fifty feet, maybe more. I sped up my pace, anxious to be out of plain sight, but at the same time not wanting to close too much of the space berween us. I decided just to make a quick sprint for the next house with a bush, and upon reaching it, I ducked behind it and peeked out, looking for Seto. He apparently hadn't noticed me, or anything else for that matter. He seemed to be in a sort of daze, paying even less attention to the surrounding world than ever before. The distance between us was small, since I had run as fast as I could to the spot where I now hid, and from this close I could see that his head was downcast, merely watching the rise and fall of his own footsteps and nothing else.
What could have happened to Seto that could rob him of his own stubborn pride? He seemed so...hopeless, as though he had lost something so precious. I wondered if Kaiba Corp. was in danger. Seto's company was the only thing I could think of that might be able to affect him this deeply. Still, whatever it was, it still wasn't any excuse for the way he had been acting towards me. If something bad had happened, why couldn't he just tell me? I knew that Seto wasn't really the 'sharing type', but he had always told me things like this before, the important things that affected him. What if the problem was me? What if he...was no longer in love with me?
I never even gave the thought a chance to develop. Seto still loved me, I knew he did. He would have told me if he didn't...wouldn't he? Oh God. Maybe he couldn't think of a way to tell me. Maybe he...
Once again, I pushed the notion away and focused on the moment before me. Whatever it was, I would know sooner or later, and making assumptions would only lead me into panic. Seto had gotten quite far ahead of me by then, and I watched him carefully for any signs of awareness. He strode on thoughtlessly, following a path that he must have known well, for him to be able to walk so carelessly towards whatever destination he had in mind. Feeling strangely confident, I stood up once again and followed behind him. He was so far away by then that I could hardly make him out in the distance, and I picked up my pace to try and keep him within sight.
I followed him for what seemed to me to be hours at best, although it must have been about forty five minutes before he finally slowed to a stop. He stood silently and gazed up at the black rod iron of the Domino Cemetary gates. After standing still for a moment and staring upwards, he forced himself to step inside and continued on the cement path that wound within and without the graves.
I blankly stared at the unexpected sight. What was Seto doing here? From my hiding place just around the corner of a nearby building, I watched him make his way through the headstones, blankly staring at a place just in front of him and never once turning his head. Whoever he had come here to see, he certainly knew exactly where to find them.
Had someone important to him died? I shook my head absentmindedly, dismissing the thought. Seto didn't really care a whole lot about anyone, and certainly not enough to actually make such a tremendous effort as to visit them in death. He didn't really have very much use for the living, let alone the dead. But still, there was no other reason for Seto to be here. If someone important had died, I would definitely have known. Or at least, I thought that I would have known. Maybe he was supposed to meet someone here. How discreetly morbid.
I stood there for so long, trying to make sense out of what I saw, that I nearly lost Seto again. I ran out from my hiding spot and dashed through the gates. Inside the cemetary there were endless amounts of greenery and clustered trees, so hiding wouldn't pose too much of a problem. I just needed to know where I should hide in order get a clear line of vision to whoever Seto was here to see. I wove throughout the scattered trees, realizing that the cemetary was far less crowded than the streets of Domino had been and my being noticed here was far more likely. It seemed as though we were the only two people here. Well, the only two living people. I chuckled nervously at my inside joke and tried to laugh off the awful feeling that had been gathering within me ever since I set foot in the graveyard. I didn't want to be here at all. I hoped that whatever Seto had come here to do, he would hurry up and get it over and done with.
He sharply turned to the right and walked off the cemetary path, following a beaten earthy trail that I could easily see he had taken before, many times. Watching him from behind a particularily large tree, I saw him stop suddenly, pausing before a particular headstone. I was glad for that, it was no more than ten or twelve feet away from the tree I hid behind, and although the grave itself was faced completely away from me, this made it possible for me to see Seto's face very clearly. He seemed to be very intent on not looking at the grave itself, but rather the dirt just before it. Not once had his eyes scanned over the words on the stone, and my curiosity began to grow dangerously. Now that we were here, I desperately wanted to see just who it was that we had come all this way to visit.
I was taking care to remain undetected, and I only leaned forward just enough so that one of my eyes could see beyond the tree, and I was sure that Seto would never notice me unless he was truly looking. I wasn't really so worried about it because he seemed to be very occupied with whatever it was that held him so still before the grave. Suddenly he moved, and I was startled but I held myself still, dying with curiosity to see what it was that he had come here to do. He kneeled before the grave, and as I watched his face I saw him lift his gaze upward and and his eyes settled across the words on the stone, the name of whoever it was he had come to see.
I couldn't do anything but stare, even as Seto fell to the ground and the look of longing and loss swept his features. All I could do was watch it happen. I felt so awful about it, even though I knew that he would no doubt feel even worse if he found that he was being watched, still, it was becoming so very hard to keep still and silent. I wanted so badly to help him, to know what it was that tortured him so much. I saw the first of many tears slowly make their way across his face, and within moments I felt my own tears falling fast in response. Just the sight of his pain nearly had me drowning in my own, I so desperately needed to make all of this somehow better. I bit back the urge to run out from where I hid, and continued to watch quietly.
Seto was kneeling still, his eyes clenched shut as if he had to keep from seeing what was truly before him. He didn't want to see it, whatever it was. The tears continued to fall down his face, escaping from the corners of his tightly shut eyes until he suddenly opened them once more, and stared defiantly into the space between us, occupied by the grave.
"I can't tell you what's happened. I'm sorry..." Seto's voice was faint and barely made it's way to my ears, even though he and I were so close. Rarely did I ever hear him speak that way, and the very sound of it hurt me in a strange place deep inside. Seto was so proud and strong, and to sit back helplessly and listen to the sound of that shattered pride was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I never wanted Seto to be anything but happy, forever...
"I won't let you do this. I can't..." He stood up abruptly and stared down at the dirt below, taking control of himself as I suspected he might do, as I had hoped he would. I didn't know how much longer I would have been able to watch him suffer like that.
"I refuse to allow you to throw this all away. It's been far too long. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. Just don't go. Don't leave me here...because I will not go on if you do. Not without you."
Without wasting another second, Seto quickly walked away, back to the path and out of the cemetary. I watched him as he went, wondering if I should wait awhile before following him. If he made it home before I did, I knew he would probably raise hell trying to find me. But I was afraid to try and beat him home without being noticed. And I would have to make absolutely sure that I was not seen. Now that I knew where he had gone, it was even more important for me to make sure that he never knew that I had seen him. I didn't even want to think about what might happen if he found that I had spied on him. I would have to stay out of the house for awhile and come back in a few hours. I could always lie about where I had been, but if I came home mere minutes after he did, I knew it would look way too suspicious. No, I'd have to wait awhile. So in the meantime, I decided to see about this dead person. The desire to know was driving me crazy and now that Seto was finally out of sight, I ran out from behind the tree and stood in front of the grave.
My eyes fell upon the letters carved into the stone, and I stood fast where I was, trying to understand, but reason simply would not come. My mind, in pure shock and disbelief, refused to acknowledge the obvious facts and instead I felt the same wordless and unformed phrase endlessly driving on in my head, the same unanswered question spiralling out of control. Never mind who this was, just never mind, it doesn't matter...
I read and re-read the words, until they blurred and became illegible, then invisible to my eyes. That was my name, wasn't it? Joey Wheeler. That is my name. It is. But I'm not in there. I can't be. Because I'm still here, still alive...
I fell to my own knees, and painfully cried out for something I thought I had never lost.
AN: Ooooh, boy. You know, I'm a really happy person. I think it's just that my life is so devoid of any angst, I feel the need to torture these poor boys. Especially Joey. I never let him have a good day. Or year, life, whatever. I command thee to be sad! He's such a good kid, though. Oh, a note to anyahs ayalec- dude. i'm so un-good at lemons. I'm really all about the angst. Believe me, I would be so freakin happy to write a lemon that I felt confident about. That would be all I would write. I would quit my job, just so I could stay home and write lemons all day, and then read them. But alas, this is not the case. I'm surprised that I've been writing so much. I just got Digital Demon Saga and I haven't even really slept since I got it, let alone try to live a functional life outside the Junkyard. As always, if you liked it the story-thing, tell me. Cause if you don't then I won't know. How sad I would be.
Converting /tmp/phphmyUJy to /dev/stdout