Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Got Malik??? ❯ i STILL can't think of one. ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: What is wrong with you, people???!!! This is the fifth chapter already!!! GO SEE CHAPTER 1 IF YOU WANNA SEE IT!!!

BA: Hello, peoplez!

Malik: *comes out of the kitchen, his pants falling halfway down his butt* 'bout time…where've you been?

BA: Places!!! I see London, I see France, I see Malik's underpants!!! GOOOOOO MALIK!!! ^_____________________^

Malik: O.o *pulls his pants up*

BA: -__- Did you really have to that?

Malik: Yeah.

BA: Funsuckah! …anyway, we have a special guest today!!! Ooh, hey, that rhymed! ^_^ Everybody! Please welcome my fellow psychotic friend, DOWN SYDROME!!! ^_____________________________^

DS: O.o *blankly* hi.

*crickets chirp and a tumbleweed comes rolling around*

BA: -__- I said!!! PLEASE WELCOME MY FRIEND DOWN SYNDROME!!!

*more crickets chirp and another tumbleweed comes rolling by from the opposite side*

BA: -__________________________-

DS: Hey, now you look like you have Down syndrome. How come it's my name when you're the one that has it?

BA: Shut up, baka. Anyhoo…forget her introductions-

DS: Hey!

BA: *ignores her* So, Malik-

DS: A-AHEM!!! I'M TALKING HERE! *whacks BA over the head with her back pack* SCORE! ^_______^

BA: Owwies…so, as I was saying-

DS: So, whatcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do, uh, uh, uh!! Your inhuman if that didn't hurt you!!!

BA: Quiet! Dammit!

DS: -_- Oh, yeah, I have gifts for the Pharaoh.

Malik: What?!!! You're giving a gift to him but not to me??? What is wrong with you???!!!

BA: Oh don't wrooy, Malik-

DS: Haha! You can't spell!!!

BA: *sticks tongue out* :P so what?! Anyway, Malik, you wouldn't want her gift to Yami.

DS: Yeah, I hate to agree with her, but she's right.

BA: Wait-you're agreeing with me and you admitted that I'm right! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! HELP!!!!

Bakura: O.o Uhh…okaaaaay…not exactly the sight or sound I wanted to see or hear the time I came here…

BA: Anyway, DS, give him you're gift!!! YAMIIIII!!!!

Yami: What?

BA: You get a gift!!!

Yami: Cool!!! What is it???

DS: *hands Yami his gifts*

Yami: Ooooooh!!! Wazzis???

DS and BA: We call it… *insert drum roll here*…LYPOSUCTION IN REVERSE!!!

Malik and Bakura: *cracking up in the background*

Yami: -______________________________________-

DS: The great part is…

BA: You could share it with Seto and Ryuuji!!!

DS: Aren't I so great??? I'm so thoughtful!!!

BA: Yep, that you are, my friend. That you are…

DS: Yeah…remember what I put in my review…why I gave him that?

BA: Oh yeah! That was funny…'coz he looks like this: |

DS: There! That's it! See that??? What is that??? It's disgusting man!!!

Yami: *sniffle* I'm hurt!

BA: Awww….don't take it personally, Yummy-Yami!!!

DS: Dude, what's with the nickname? You're starting to creep me out…

BA: I know!!! Now, Yami, why don't you go to your room and…put some pounds on…^^

Yami: Okay! ^________^ Thank you!!!

DS, BA, Malik and Bakura: O.O;;;; …AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Whatta moron!!!

BA: *calms down* anyway, to DarknessoftheHeart, yes, I know what you mean! I'm a fangirl too!!! ^_______^

DS: *coughcoughpsychoticcoughfangirlcoughcough*

BA: *eye twitch, hits DS with a mallet*

DS: Ow…ooh…look at all the polka dotted under wears…

BA: O.o???? Uh…okaaaay, moving along…I'll mention your gifts in the next chapter ok? I need their pics, please! Anyway-

Saisaishi: Maliiiiik! *glomps him* Oh my gawsh! I'm a big fan!!!

Malik: Of course you are! Who could blame ya???

Saisaishi: ^______^ Anyway, Malik, you get a scented candle of your choice!

Malik: I want it…Vanilla Chocolate!!!

Saisaishi: sure! Here ya go! *hands him a huge vanilla-chocolate scented candle* and here are ten lighters so you have one wherever you go! Oh, and you get a Millennium Rod Polisher set too.

BA: I need buy more fire extinguishers now…*thinking* Burn, Baby, Burn!!!! ^_____________^

Saisaishi: Oh, and Malik?

Malik: *sniffing the candle* Mmmm…vanilla chocolate…mmm…waddya want?

Saisaishi: Why is it that when you're portending to be Namu, your voice is adorable, but when you're not pretending to be Namu, your voice sounds like you're on crack?

Malik: WHAT???!!!! Once again, I shall say…GO BLAME THE DUBBERS!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!! BLAME THEM!!! NOT ME!!! I'M TOO HOT TO BE BLAMED!!! Oh, and just for the record, I'm not on crack.

BA: Sheesh, dude…chill…feel the Hawaiian Breeze…*starts waving arms in front*

Everyone except BA: O.o;;; What the--???

Saisaishi: Okaaaay…I'll just take my leave…*freaked out*

BA: -__- Fine, leave me hangin'…Anyway, American Sumira…sorry I missed your gifts in the last chapter!!! It was past twelve and I was really tired and I was really sleepy…sorry again! Here it is! Bakura, you get a flame thrower the millennium scales and Key, Cookies sugar pie chocolate syrup and an official license to flame throw any one who thinks your gay.

Bakura: Why the hell would they think I'm gay???

DS: *coughcough*

Bakura: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!!!

DS: Oh…nothing! ()=)

Bakura: *glares at DS* Whatever. Thanks for the gifts, AS, anyway.

BA: Ok, Malik, she gives you the power of the Pharaoh-

Yami: HEY!!! THAT'S MINE!!! *walks…I mean, rolls down the stairs like Pillsburry Dough Boy in leather* (he looks like this: O)

DS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! WHAT IS THAT THING!!! IT'S ROLLING STRAIGHT AT US!!!!

BA: No, really, ya think???

Malik: RUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Bakura: Somebody pop him while he's still fresh!!!

Yami: EVERYBODY!!! SHUT UP!!!!

BA: Hey! I'm the authoress of this fic!!! You shut up! Who are you anyway???

Yami: It's me, Yami, you morons!!!

Everyone: O_________________________________O Oooooh, what the hell happened to you???

Yami: *flops down* I used DS's gift…

BA: Bakura!!!! Pop him!!!

Bakura: No, you pop him! I'm scared!!!

BA: What?!!! I am too!!

DS: Hey!!! I have an idea! Let's toss him around like a giant beach ball! ^____^

BA: Good idea! *starts tossing Yami Pillsburry Dough Boy in Leather style around the room*

Malik: Hey! Poke him in the belly and see what happens!!! ^o^

BA: Okay!!! *pokes him*

Yami: *deflates*

DS: Dude…what's that smell????

BA: Eeeeew!!!

DS: YAMI FARTED!!!!

Yami: Nuh-uh! I deflated!!! Besides, whoever smelt it, dealt it!!!

DS: Nuh-uh!!! Whoever did the rhyme did the crime!!!

BA: Yami!!! You're back to normal!!!

Malik: Yeah!!! You're back to being a toothpick!!!

Yami: -______________________________-

Bakura: Anyway, back to the gifts, Malik already got the Pharaoh's Power in the previous chapters.

BA: SO??? He gets new ones!!!

Yami: But that's mine…

DS: Oh, shut up!!! *Whacks him in the head and throws him in the closet*

BA: Ok, American Sumira's next gifts for Malik are sugar, ice cream, and the same license that Bakura got.

Malik: Thanks!!! *dumps sugar into his sugar castle/empire*

BA: I get a date with any of you guys!!! ^______^ Yay!!! I get sugar, cookies and more pics of Malik!!! Thankies! Ok, so where's Marik? MARIK!!!!!!!

Marik: What do you want?

BA: AS wants to know why you stole jewelry from the Pharaoh's Tomb.

Marik: I did not steal it!!! Malik did!!!

Malik: >.> I prefer the term borrowed…and besides, it's not my fault…the jewelries were summoning me to them…they said I was a much better owner!!!

Yami: *from the closet* Hey!!! I heard that!!!

DS: GRRRR!!! Stupid bulimic Pharaoh!!! *goes to the closet, knocks Yami out again, and then comes out and locks the door* That should keep him out for a while…hopefully…BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME I HAVE TO DO THAT, I'LL KILL HIM!!!!

BA: Remember the Anger Management Classes, DS…Calm, happy place…

DS: *breathe in….breath out…*

BA: Ok, so Bakura, do you like to kill people or was that just a way to achieve your goal?

Bakura: I do it because of both!!! ^-^ It's sooooo much fun!!!

BA: Good enough. Marik, you're single, right?

Marik: What's it to you?

BA: Yep. He's single.

Marik: Wha--?

BA: None o' yow beezwax. Anyway, Kasia, congratulations on completing the evil laugh! Say it with me now: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...see? that wasn't so hard! Bakura, Malik, Ryou and Malik, do you ever get lonely for your Others?

Marik: In what way?

BA: Not in that way. As in…Yami/Hikari way, I suppose…

Malik, Ryou, Bakura and Marik: -_- It's not like we have a choice. They're a part of us. We feel incomplete without them.

Bakura: Hey, BA! You're writing this fic-

Malik: No duh!

Bakura: >.> Shut up, muffin.

Malik: >.<

BA: Anyway, Kasia, review again when you remember! The next one is from-

DS: Ooh! I wanna read it! I wanna read it!

BA: Umm…what's with the sudden burst of emotion?

DS: I dunno!!! ^_^ I wanna read the next one! A-ahem! Anime Gal4 says you rock and that she laughed so hard. And she also said and I quote, "I can't even put into words how great your story is. I love this story so much." Oh, and she thanks Malik and can't wait for their dates.

Malik: We'll meet up later, at 8:00 pm tonight, ok? At the mall.

DS: Did you know that she was reading this article on your creator and when he was asked to tell who this fave evil character was...he said Bakura?

Bakura: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Malik: WHAT??!!!

BA: Hmm…well that's his opinion…if it's any consolation, you're my favorite! ^_^

Malik: *sarcastically* That makes me feel so much better!!

BA: Good! ^____^

Malik: -_______-u

DS: Anyway, is your motorcycle a Harley?

Malik: I dunno.

Bakura: What do you mean you don't know??? You frikkin' ride that thing almost everyday!

Malik: It is not just a thing!!! I don't know what brand it is, but I think it's a Harley! ^_^

DS: Can you draw?

Malik: Hmm…I haven't drawn anything since I was twelve, but you can see it if you want! See??? *shows a drawing of Malik being Pharaoh and the other half is Yami dead and rotting*

DS and BA: Oooooh! Cool pic!!!

BA: ANYONE WHO WANTS A COPY OF IT, LET ME KNOW!!!

Malik: I still keep the original copy, right?

BA: Of course!

Malik: ^__^

BS: Ok, DS, what's the next question?

DS: Do you like your creator?

Malik: Uhh…I dunno…I never really thought about it…I'll get back to you on that.

DS: How come there are barely any pics of you topless in the internet?

BA: Can I answer that? Please???

Malik: I guess…I dunno why either.

BA: There are a lot of pics of his shirtless!!! Not really a lot a lot but still quite a bit! You just gotta know where to look! I'd give you the link, but I forgot 'em…sorry! ^^

DS: O.o So that's what you were looking at when you wouldn't let me look at it and when you threw me out of your room!

BA: Umm…sorry?

DS: Whatever. Malik, if u could change one thing about yourself...what would it be?

Malik: Hmm…let me think…why nothing!!! I love myself!! I'm so hot and good-lookin' and fine!

DS: BA, you were right, he is stuck on himself…

BA: Of course I'm right! ^_^

DS: Anyway, Malik, you get a kiss, lots of horror movies, anime movies, manga comics, a pair of black, heavy metal jeans and a see-through top, new motorcycle parts.

Malik: SWEET!!!

Anime Gal4: *comes in with a girl beside her* Hi! This is my friend Chibi! *kisses Malik* ^___^ So, Bakura, why do you like it when people say that you're gay with Malik, although, I know you're not!

Malik: >_> I never knew you liked that, Bakura…Disgusting.

Bakura: >_< Shut up! WHO THE HELL SAID I LIKED IT ANYWAY???!!! WITH MY HIKARI IT'S TOLERABLE, BUT HIM???!!!! THE BLONDE EGYPTIAN!!!??? I DO NOT ENJOY IT WHATSOEVER!!!

Anime Gal4: Calm down, 'Kura…

Chibi: *kisses Bakura*

Bakura: *calms down a little* I have to go get my chocolate milk.

Anime Gal4: Could you answer just one more question for me?

Bakura: Fine.

Anime Gal4: Why do you think you should have all the Millennium Items?

Bakura: 'COZ I SAID SO!!! And besides, if I rule the world, everything will belong to me!!! Including Hershey's!!!

Anime Gal4: *sweatdrop* Ano…ok. Besides the kiss, you get a heavy metal CD, your OWN sliver motorcycle to match your hair, and a new pair of shoes.

Bakura: Cool! ^_^ can I get my chocolate milk now?

Anime Gal: Uhh…sure…go right ahead!!! So, Marik, I DONT THINK YOU ARE GAY! Chibi does...not me…

Marik: *glares at Chibi*

Chibi: eep! See ya later guys! *runs away*

Marik: No, how am I supposed to know what that mini Pharaoh's age is? And I don't know when exactly I was created. Around the same time as Malik got the markings, I suppose…Did you honestly expect me to keep track????

BA: Don't freak out…he just read your mind!

AG4: Ok…if you say so! Marik you get a Hack//SIGN DVD, a DVD player, Yu-Gi-Oh DVD with original stuff, and or own motorcycle, white with flames going down the side.

Marik: Cool. just tell Chibi not to mistake me for a gay guy again.

AG4: I will! ^_^ And BA…You get your very own motorcycle!!! The style is black with blue water going down the sides!

BA: Where is it???

AG4: It's by your garage.

BA: Ok!!! ^_^

AG4: Where's Yami? I got questions for him.

DS: Right here. *opens the closet door to see Yami talking to the picture on the wall*

Yami: Ahhh…yes, Einstein, you are right, as usual! *sees them* Uhh…hello there!

Everyone: O________________________OU

Yami: Stop staring!!! It's rude!!! >.< Have you never seen anyone talk to Einstein before??? That Dexter kid talked to him all the time!

BA: Uhhh…right. Anime Gal4 wants to know if you're gay with Yugi, why you always talk about the heart of the cards-

Yami: One question at a time!!! No, I am not gay with Yugi. As much as I love my Hikari, we are not that way. As for the heart of the cards…go ask the creators, dammit!!! Don't ask us! For all we know we were just created to satisfy their hormones!!!

BA: A little too much info there, Yami…

Yami: Oh…hehe…

AG4: So, do you like Tea?

Yami: As in, in what way?

AG4: I dunno. I gotta think about that…but would you kill Tea if u had the chance?

Yami: YES!!!

AG4: If u could kill anyone in Yu-Gi-Oh! Who would it be? Besides Tea…

Yami: hmm…now that Tea is not an option…I'll have to go with Pegasus!!! Don't ask why, please…I was scarred when I found out that--*choke* *sob*

BA: Umm…go recollect yourself in the closet, Yami…maybe Einstein can help you…

Yami: *perks up* That's a good idea! *skips off to the closet and talks to Einstein*

BA: So, nice having you here!

AG4: Yeah, and keep this fic going, ok?

BA: I'll try my best! ^_____^ Ok, now, Blood Shed Red says sorry to Malik for asking him that question.

Malik: It's ok.

BA: Oh, and I know what it was supposed to be! This is PG13, people!!! PG13!!!!

Malik: What was supposed to be what?

BA: Nothing! Anyway, Bakura, Ryou, you could e-mail them anytime!

Bakura: Oh, I would, but BA IS HOGGING THE COMPUTER!!!

BA: :p Miyuki, sorry you weren't on the last one, as I said, last night, I was really sleepy. And here, you can keep those!!! *hands Miyuki a lot of pics of Bakura, Malik, Ryou and Marik in leather*

Miyuki: Thanks! Oh, can I give a glomp to the bishies?

BA: Sure!!!

Miyuki: *Hugs Bakura, Malik, Marik and hugs and kisses Ryouu* ^___^

Ryou: *blush*

Miyuki: Thanks again! E-mail me for the wedding stuff ok?

BA: I will! And keep those safe, Miyuki!!! It's priceless!

Malik: What wedding?

BA: Uhhh…the wedding of our hamsters??? That way, we'd be like sister in-laws!!! ^_______^

Bakura: O.o Hamsters?

BA: Yep. So moving onto Sleeping Koneko's questions…Malik, have you ever wondered what you looked like as a cat?

Malik: Not really…but I know I'll be cute as one!!!

BA: Here, take a look at this! *shows him his kitty version*

Malik: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! I'm so cute!!!!!!! I'm so cuddly!!! ^___________^

DS: *cough, cough, cough*

Malik: *ignores DS*

DS: *anime vein* HEY!!! I'M COUGHING HERE!!!

Everyone: *ignores DS*

DS: *sniffle* Where's the love???

Marik: It became extinct and went to hell.

DS: Really???

Bakura: Yep.

DS: ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!

BA: Sure, whatever. Malik, what's your most embarrassing moment?

Malik: If I had one, why would I be telling you?

BA: 'Coz you have to?

Malik: Not good enough.

BA: -____- Come on, please????

Malik: Fine, does me singing in the shower being exposed count?

BA: Fine. You get a container of lethal acid, and a person of your choice to torture! Also an infinite supply of candy, a nuzzle session, and of course... A HUG!

Sleeping Koneko: Hi! ^___^ *hugs Malik and nuzzles up to him*

BA and the rest: *watches them*

Malik and MS: *finally break apart*

DS: Well, wasn't that a sweet scene?

SM: Hey, Bakura! Are you really afraid of cats? 'coz you know, in Ancient Egypt they were used to ward off evil spirits.

Bakura: Are we in Ancient Egypt, now?

SM: Uhh…no?

Bakura: There's your answer! ^_^

SM: -__- Can you summon Scapegoats using the Millennium Ring?

Bakura: O.o First time I got that question…I could…here…*summons Scapegoats*…wanna take it home with you? *fluffy scapegoats appear*

SM: Thanks!!! ^__^ Will you be my friend???

Bakura: -_- Aren't the scapegoats enough?

SM: Nope! What's your most embarrassing moment?

Bakura: If I get to skip that question, I'll be your friend!

SM: DEAL!!! ^_^ *hugs and snuggles up to Bakura* Here, you get a Madness Dog too!

Madness Dog: *stares at Bakura creepily*

Bakura: Okaaaaaaaaaaay…I'll just put him away…*locks him in a cage*

SM: Besides the hug, and a snuggling session, Madness Dog, you also get Hydra and a person to torture!!!

BA: Who's Hydra?

SM: Aw, just someone who can devour anyone you want him to!!

Bakura: Cool!

SM: Ok, I have questions for Marik!

Marik: Yeah?

SM: Did you know that the dub made you sound like a DBZ villain...? x_x;

Marik: Yeah, I am well aware of that. Oh, and just for the record, I AM NOT A SUPER SAIYAN!!!! But they're powers are pretty cool.

SM: *pokes Marik*

Marik: *twitch* Stop that!

SM: Sooo…what's your embarrassing moment?

Marik: A Split.

SM: What?

Marik: You got your answer already, I'm not repeating myself. *thinking* dammit, I knew I should have never taken those gymnastics lessons!

SM: Fine. You suck the fun out it. You get an attack kitten, anyway. Name it whatever you want!!

Marik: Fangs sound good?

SM: Cool! *hugs and cuddles up to Marik* So, BA, can I add you to my Yahoo Messenger Friends List?

BA: Sure!!! ^__^ Add me in as pauline_ishtar …okay? And thanks for the plushies too!

SM: No prob! Whenever you hug them, they praise you! And you get a wish, a flame-proof ficcie banner! Ok, I gotta go now! BYE!!! Oh, and update soon!!!

BA: THANKS!!! And don't I update soon enough for you guys?! I update, like, once a day!

Malik: You're updating just fine. You just have to squeeze in more 'sleep' in your schedule!

BA: Mmhmmm…Thank you, Infatuation for your words of praise and appreciation! It's greatly cherished! ^_^ I feel so loved! And don't worry, I'll sleep…some time…but I'll try to! Thanks so much for your concern! Anyway, Jenna Casey has a question for Bakura! Why does your Hikari, Ryou, sound like a girl?

Bakura: Once again, blame the dubs!!!! At least I don't!!! I sound sek-say!!!

BA: Uh-huh, you do. You and Marik get bombs. Oh, and Marik? She wants to know if you're potty trained.

DS: Who the hell would want to know if he's potty trained???

Marik: Apparently, she does. Anyway, no, I didn't need that because I never went through my toddler stage, so nyah!

BA: You know, I never really get the 'nyah' part…

DS: Me either.

Malik: Are there any more?

BA: Yep. They're for you too!

Malik: Good!

BA: It's from Tengoku-chan and Yasha-sama.

Malik: Ra, if you love me, you'll kill me now!!!

Ra: *appears* Haha!! Good one, kid! Real funny! *disappears*

Malik: -_______-

BA: So, does Rishid have a girlfriend? He looks pretty lonely?

Bakura: *quirks an eyebrow* never I'd see the day when that question will be asked…

Malik: Yeah, he does!!! ^____^ Who? I'm not telling!!!

BA: But I wanna know!!!

Malik: Well you can't.

BA: :p Does Isis call you cute/kiddy names?

Malik: -_________- you just had to bring that up, didn't you?

BA: Hey, not my question. It's theirs!

Malik: Yeah. She does.

BA: Examples, please…

Malik: -______________________- *dully* Mawikie, cutesy-wootsie-Mawik…

BA: Awww!!! How cute!!!! ^_________^

Malik: Retarded-

BA: Do you sleep with any stuffed animals?

Malik: NO!!! I'M 16 YEARS OLD!!! *thinking* *sniffle* Mr. Hugglebear left me…

BA: Oh…is that so? Bakura, can she call you Fluffy?

Bakura: -_- No.

BA: How 'bout Baku-Waku-chan?

Bakura: -___- No.

BA: You guys suck the fun out of everything!!!

Marik: Well, sorry if we wanna get through this with our dignity intact!!!

BA: Hmm…good point…Oh well, MarikzAngel asks Malik if he wants to watch Red Dragon.

Malik: Is there gonna be lots of gore in it?

BA: Yeah.

Malik: Cool then! See you at 6 pm tomorrow!

BA: Bakura, you get a sword, Malik, you get a Herbal Essences Shampoo, she heard you use it too!

Malik: Yeah, I do! It's not just for women you know!

BA: And I get a new pen that changes color to whatever I want and never runs out! Cool! It has a rubber grip too! ^-^ …And a new dagger for Marik, too… and Oh, um MA, here, take this first aid kit, I have a feeling you're gonna need it…

Malik: YESSSSS!!! I get a leather outfit!!! Thank you, Kitiara!

BA: And I get a get of school card!!! And a whole weeks' worth... Oh my gosh… I hope this could be acceptable in my school! To 'Bakura-sama' a set of head phones that he can put on Yami while he sleeps to make him go psycho! Umm…sorry, but you can't hurt a reviewer! Don't worry about the bishies! I could just resurrect them! And Bakura knows that you love him!

Bakura: O.o she does?

BA: Yes, she does baka! >.< Anyway, here's the Pharaoh's Queen…

PQ: *saunters over to Bakura* I've been thinking about what I did last time, and I realized that maybe it was a bit uncalled for... So, to make up for it (in a way), I agreed to deliver a gift from a friend of mine (who can't access fanfiction.net). Here. *hugs Bakura and kisses his cheek* There, that should make you feel a little better. And if you still want to kill me...you can't. I'm immortal.

Bakura: Crap. I had the perfect way!

PQ: Too bad for you. Oh, and I have something for Ryou, too. *kisses Ryou on the cheek* Now THAT'S from me, not from my friends… *winks* though I think they would like to do the same. *giggles flirtatiously* Oh, and Malik, I have another kiss for you *kisses Malik on the lips* and something else as well: the blessings of the ancient Egyptian gods. *leans close to him* And Ra says hello.

Malik: Ra says hello??? That's all he got to say after he made me go through this???

PQ: *shrugs* seems like it. Now, I have something for Marik as well, if he would be so kind to accept my humble gifts. *puts on innocent act* Here you go... *holds out hand to reveal a tiny black dragon* This should come in handy. *sets dragon on the ground* BA, Malik, Ryou and Bakura, back away as far as you can.

Others: *do as they're told*

PQ: *black cloud surrounds dragon and expands, and dragon suddenly grows ten times larger, baring fangs and claws, and spreading very large, dangerous wings* This is for you, Marik-chan. *eyes turn gold* To repay you for everything you've done. *dragon opens mouth and a black light shoots out to engulf Marik* GO ROT YOUR SORRY ASS IN THE SHADOW REALM, YOU BASTARD!! *eyes turn red* *black light disappears, and Marik is gone* I hope he is not needed for awhile, because he is truly resting his sorry ass in the Shadow Realm right now. However... *turns to BA* Due to the fact that he has many fangirls (I don't know why, considering what he's done *growls*), it would be unfair to everyone else if he were to never come back. So, I grant you the power to bring him back from the Shadow Realm. Unfortunately, you won't be able to use this power for another two to three hours... It's the way this works, using ancient dragons to send people to the Shadow Realm (versus using one's own powers, or the conditions of a Shadow Duel). But never fear, he shall return...if you choose to use this power, that is. *grins* Oh, and here's another Super-Duper Flamethrower; the 10,0 model just came out the other day, and I thought you might like to have it.

BA: Thanks! ^__^

PQ: For those of you who wish to rid of me (such as you, Bakura)...prepare yourselves, for I shall return... *whistles softly, and dragon shrinks and flies to palm* Oh, and Malik... *smiles lovingly* I'm tempted to do this. *kisses him on the lips again* You've been through so much pain and misery... *eyes blur with tears* I feel so sorry for you. *tears stream down cheeks* Now I think it is time for me to go... *snaps fingers and disappears (with dragon) in a cloud of black smoke*

BA: Like I said…suave…

…

…

BA: Poor Marik!!!! *sniffle*

Bakura: I don't remember you crying in despair when I was sent to the Shadow Realm…

BA: Don't worry, Marik! I shall bring you back!!!

Bakura: -_____-

Malik: Don't worry, he'll be back in a few hours.

BA: *sniffle* I guess you're right…

Malik: Will you cry when I get to the Shadow Realm too?

BA: Hmm…ten times louder than I did Marik.

Malik: *winces* that has got to be really loud.

BA: Yup! ^__^ It'll be!

^^~~~^~~~^^ 3 Hrs…pass…

BA: Ok, Yami's Girlfriend for Life's Elfin friend wants to know if Bakura would go on a date with her.

Bakura: Sure, I will. What's her name?

BA: Lotherilien.

Bakura: Lori-what?

BA: Lotherilien…Low-there-a-lynn

Bakura: Oh…ok then. *to Lotherilien* see you tomorrow, 5 pm at the movies, ok?

BA: So, Marik, will you go out with YGfL's sister Cindy?

Marik: Why should I?

BA: Marik! You're back! ^_____^ anyway, because one, ever since you first showed up in the episodes, she's loved you, and it would TOTALLY break her heart if you said no. and she wants her out of her house. Marik: Good enough. We'll do a double date with Bakura. Meet me at the same time and same place. BA: Soo…where's Yami? DS: In the closet, talking to Einstein…want me to get him. BA: Yeah. DS: *pulls Yami out of the closet* BA: You feeling any better, Yami? Yami: Yep! ^___^ BA: Good! 'Coz you have a date! Yami: Cool! BA: So, where do you wanna meet Yami's Girlfriend for Life? Yami: Uhhh…at the arcade at the mall! Six pm, tomorrow, ok? BA: You get a cookie from her too…just because you're so special. DS, Malik and Bakura: *cough, cough, cough* Yami: :P *glares* Hn…I gotta go get ready now… BA: But your date's tomorrow! Yami: Yeah, but I gotta choose what outfit I'll use! BA: Ok then, have fun! So…next, we have Ryuujitsu- Bakura: *groan* Are there any more yaoi-related questions? BA: Don't worry, none this time! Just gifts! Bakura: thank you, Ra. BA: So, right now, she hanging on a tree, by her ankle and is soaked with gasoline. Nevertheless, Bakura, you get a complete Set of Torture Tools as a thank-you for being so patient with her...er...interesting requests. Use them on that Pharaoh-baka!! She isn't exactly so fond of Yami... She says, and I quote, "HOW DARE HE TRY TO FOIL MY FAVORITE PSYCHOS' EVIL WORLD-DESTRUCTION PLOTS!?" Bakura: Don't worry…they will be put to good use! BA: So, Malik gets a one hundred thousand dollar shopping spree in all her leather-outfit and dangerous-weapon stores, courtesy of the very, very, very sexy Seto Kaiba! Malik: SWEET!!! ^_____^ BA: Umm…Ryuujitsu, do you want me to get the fire extinguishers ready? You might need it…do you want a hospital room reserved because of your burns with that? Anyway, a question from Malik*BakuraTenshi90, Bakura do you use hairgel? Bakura: Nope! My hair is all natural! BA: It is? Never knew that…anyway…the Taliban's weapons of mass destruction are given to Bakura and Malik gets an airplane. And I get a life sized plushie of Bakura and Malik ^__^ Bakura and Malik: Life size??? Who knows what she'll do to the poor Plushie versions of us??? BA: -________- ew, guys, just…ew…Okay, so from Mistral Mikasha and Miko Ishtar, Malik gets a gothic twin named 'Miko', who has the Millennium Scepter that holds a yami that is as crazy as Marik named Miro! Malik and Marik: Cool! BA: Malik and Bakura also get a spell that allows you two to have whatever you guys want, a Reappearing Anzu doll so they can repeatedly kill it when you guys are mad. Malik: That's really thoughtful of you, but BA could just resurrect her for us to torture anytime. But this is still cool! BA: Oooh and we get candy, sugar and sweets too! And she has questions too- Malik: Yeah, it is pretty weird that I have a Goth twin I never knew of. BA: Dammit, Malik! Stop reading my mind! And about the links of Bakura and Malik shirtless…I'd give them away, but as I stated above…I don't remember it…sorry! ^^ But here, you get a pic of the Ryou and Bakura in leather! You don't have to do the puppy eyes, I'm more than happy to share their hotness! Malik: And nothing scares me…except the mental image of Pegasus in dancing pink bunny thongs. *shudder* BA, Bakura and Marik: O.o *shudder* BA: Okaaaay…now that is just one freaky mental image! So, Kara has questions for Bakura and Marik…will you guys ever sell yourselves on EBay?...even just your bodies? Bakura and Marik: No. -_________________- No one would be able to afford us. BA: Would you ever date a very sexy drop dead gorgeous chick? Bakura and Marik: ^O^ Of course! BA: That was…one hell of a mood-swing…anyway, Dust Bunny 960 wants a kiss on the lips from Ryou, Bakura and Malik…on the lips. Malik: What do we get out of this? BA: Uhh…a voodoo doll of Yami and sweet snow and a trip to Hawaii? Wait-we're already in Hawai!!! No, seriously, we are here in these beautiful islands…so I guess you get two stuff… Ryou: It's ok! *kisses DB90* Bakura and Malik: Fine… *kisses DB90 too* DB90: ^_____^ *blush* Thanks! And here are your gifts!!! *hands it to them and leaves* DS: What is up with people wanting to kiss them? BA: 'Coz their hot!!! Anyway, here's Kawaii Mimi-chan! KMC: Okay, I just want to say that BA... you are so sweet to answer all these questions. It's really a wonderful idea for a story and I'm amazed at how dedicated you are. BA: I am??? Thank you so much!!! I guess all that sleep deprivation stuff paid off! KMC: ^_^ Anyway, This is a question for both Malik and Bakura. Did you two know that Twinkies are indestructible? Bakura: Twinkies??? The food? KMC: Yeah and I wanted to know if one of you could please destroy one for me? Malik: Sure!!! *brings out chainsaw from out of nowhere* HAHAHAHAHA!!!! *cuts the Twinkies in half* HA! Not so indestructible now, are ya?? Huh? Huh? KMC: Also... I have VERY lousy gifts but *Hands both of them 2 butcher knives each and a twinkie* There we go... Can I please have a date with Malik? I have a hot tub *Winks* Feel free to come over any time. Hee hee. ^^ Keep going BA! This is really cool! *Hands her some warm fresh out of the oven chocolate chip cookies* It isn't much but, enjoy them. I made them myself ^^ BA: Thanks, and sure, Malik will go on a date with you! Malik: Just make sure that there are rose-scented or chocolate-vanilla scented candles lit, ok? KMC: Sure, bye! BA: Ok, here's Lady Reaper! LR: Hi! ^_^ ruffrider nikki: HI! I'm Lady Reaper's friend!, I love this Fic and I want to ask if I can pinch Malik's butt?

Lady Reaper: isn't that a little perverted?

RRN: but LR he looks like he's got a cute butt! Malik: Sure, you can pinch it…I get more money, that way. BA: What?! O.o Malik: Tsk, my ass is insured, thank you very much! BA: O.o O.O o.O RRN: Cool! *pinches his butt* LR: BA can we borrow the boys so we can take leather shot's (and swim suits too) of them and put them in a book of all the cute anime boys? I'll give you a copy and a bishie of your choice (I've caught a lot!)
RRN: and you call me perverted -_-' BA: Sure, but mind if I come to the phot-shoot? I wanna see it too!
LR: has any one ever notice that Yugi sounds like he's never hit puberty but Yami sounds like he's in his 20's
RRN:DON'T TALK ABOUT YAMI THAT WAY! (HIT'S LR IN HEAD) BA: In the Japanese version he does, ya know! He doesn't sound that much of a wuss! And Yami sounds younger.
LR: x_x... Malik and Bakura want to help me take over the world? Malik and Bakura: sure!!! LR: Malik and 'Kura-chan get blackmail pictures of the rest of yugioh cast.
RRN: can I pinch 'kura-chan's butt too?
LR: -_-' only if BA say's you can
RRN: PLEASE (puppy dog eyes) Bakura: Please, BA!!!! No!!! DS: Yeah, don't let her, please? Bakura: Why are you suddenly on my side? DS: I have my reasons… BA: Sorry, RRN, guess they don't want you to…sorry. Anyway, Emi-chan, no prob about the glomps! And thanks for the really shiny best story award and the sugar cookies!!! Malik: Oooh! Can I have some??? BA: Nope, it says it's all mine… Bakura: Please???? BA: *looks at both of them* Fine… Malik and Bakura: Yes!!! *starts eating all the cookies* BA: O.o;;; Ok, so Malik, to receive your gifts from HY, go to the other room after your dates, ok? Malik: Sure. BA: Wow…we finished early today…it's only 10:00 pm! I still have time to do my homework!!! Bakura: No duh! You've been working on this chapter since 11:30 in the morning! BA: Uhh…yeah…anyway, I gotta go do homework now. Have fun on your dates, guys. Marik: Yeah, we will. Malik: Is it just me, are or her chapters getting longer and longer? Bakura: It's not just you. Malik: Oh well!!! She's just torturing herself!!! ^______^ Guys: *leave for their different dates* Malik: Oh, and you? *talks to you* I await my gifts in the next chapter, ok? Marik and Bakura: Me too!