Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Memories and Battle Scars ❯ And a Happy New Year? ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter Two: And a Happy New Year?

In which Seto angsts and Jou…uh…attacks him? Yeah, great summary.

Um, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, you guys totally rock! When I get ten reviews I will pick a random reviewer and they will get a picture of their request drawn for them, and it doesn't necessarily have to pertain to this story, although that'd be nice. Just leave your email address, and you'll have it within a week!

I want an excuse to draw Seto/Jou fluff. I'll be doing this on all of my stories, and I'll draw one picture for every ten reviews … remember, it's picked at random, so review every chapter for more chances!! Much luff! (Oh, and the pic has to be PG-13 … no hardcore yaoi, please! I can't draw that!)

~

"I want to know what the hell happened to my brother!"

Dr. Aizawa, a short, rather worn-looking elder man, raised his hands in defense. "Kaiba-san, please-" Of all the days for Kaiba-sama to fall ill, it had to be the one day when the rest of his staff wasn't here, leaving poor Dr. Aizawa to face this alone. Merry Christmas.

"And call me Mokuba, dammit!" Mokuba was not in a good mood. He was pacing back and forth in front of his brother's sleeping form, occasionally snapping at the people around him.

"Mokuba-san," Dr. Aizawa said carefully, "I'm not entirely certain what happened."

"No?" Mokuba roared. "What the hell are we paying you for, then? He had an attack, Doctor, a full-fledged panic attack, flashbacks, fainting, all of it!" He paused, breathing heavily as Otogi tried to comfort him. Mokuba attempted to jerk away, but the actor kept a firm grip on his arm.

"Mokuba-kun, calm down. Seto's fine now, look."

Seto didn't look fine. He was still unconscious, sprawled out on the couch where Jou had dragged him. His slender fingers clenched at the fabric of the pillows as he tossed his head from side to side, obviously trapped in some nightmare.

Jou sat on the floor next to him, hands clasped on Kaiba's chest, murmuring to him in a low tone. "It's alrigh' now … I'm `ere for ya … "

"What I want to know," Mokuba said in a frighteningly calm voice, "Is why the drugs aren't working."

"Perhaps because he stopped taking them six months ago."

Mokuba blinked. "He did what?"

Dr. Aizawa sighed. "He gave instructions that his last prescription was not to be filled. Said he was tired all the time when he took the drugs, couldn't stay up to work." And said that you were not to be informed of this, Aizawa thought to himself.

"Why did he have an attack today?"

"My best guess is a residual memory, triggered, perhaps, by something that happened-something that was said?"

"But nothing … I mean … we were all celebrating Christmas … he seemed happy … "

Dr. Aizawa stared at Mokuba. He'd never seen Kaiba happy. The very thought frightened him. "No traumas? No one tried to touch him, did they?" He glanced around the room. "No, of course not, there's no women here. How silly of me."

He stopped before he could further humiliate himself. Nine furious glares (Honda had left after being reassured that he couldn't help anymore) obliterated anything else he might have said.

"I did," Jou said hesitantly. "I-I mean, I didn' know he'd freak like dat. `E kissed me first, it wasn' like I forced myself on `im."

"He kissed you?" Dr. Aizawa was gazing at him in a most thoughtful manner. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Jou said. "I didn'-I mean-was I wrong?" He gave the doctor a sorrowful look, one strangely reminiscent of a puppy who has no idea why he's being scolded. "I didn' know dat he was raped…he neva' told me." Jou's glance fell back to Seto. "I wasn' gonna hurt `im."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Mokuba said gently. "It's his fault. He shouldn't have stopped his meds."

"Fuck you."

"Seto!" Jonouchi sat up. "Are ya a'right?"

"I'm fine." Seto massaged his throbbing temples and swung his legs off of the couch.

"Kaiba-san, you really should take these." Aizawa held out a small cup containing a few pills rattling around the bottom. Seto knocked the doctor's hand away, sending the pills flying.

"Dammit, I said no. I'm fine."

"Onii-chan, take the damn meds." Mokuba crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing in a creepily accurate imitation of Seto.

"No." Seto lurched to his feet, overbalanced, and nearly crashed into his brother. "I don't want drugs."

"You want to freak out every time someone touches you?"

"I. Am. Fine." Mokuba quailed a bit at the fierce determination in his brother's voice, but he recovered quickly, baring his teeth.

"You're going to sit down, and you're going to take those pills now."

Seto shoved Mokuba out of the way. "Like hell."

~

"Can I help you?"

No reply.

"What do you want?"

Stony silence.

"Dammit, mutt, get out of my room."

"I need t' talk t' ya." Jonouchi sat resolutely in Seto's doorway, preventing him from closing the door. All attempts thus far to remove him had been unsuccessful.

"If I listen, will you go away?"

"Mebbe."

Seto ground his teeth together and tried to calm himself. Cute as the pup was, he could be completely infuriating at times like this. And a mother of a headache was pounding behind his eyes. Exasperated, Kaiba rolled onto his side, waving Jou into the room.

He heard the door close with a click and felt a weight settle onto the bed. He knew it was Jou, knew that he'd only closed the door so they could talk in private, but his muscles tensed of their own accord and he found himself wrapping his arms protectively about his own body. "So, what do we need to talk about?"

He'd really expected an answer. A confusing answer, related in that heavy Brooklyn accent, an answer barely recognizable as Japanese, but an answer nonetheless.

What he had not expected was for Jou to grab his shoulders, pin him to the mattress, and kiss him. Unfortunately, Jou had a flair for the unexpected.

When it finally clicked, Seto thrashed wildly, screaming into the relentless heat of Jou's mouth. Something along the lines of, "Let me go," but he doubted the mutt could hear him anyways. Under that smiling veneer, the pup was strong, and though Seto had a weight advantage, Jou was perfectly capable of keeping him down.

"I am not letting you go until you're straight with me, pardon the pun," Jou said, pulling back and still breathing heavily. With no little surprise, Seto realized that his accent was gone. Apparently mood changes affected his voice?

"About what?" Seto sputtered.

"About us. Are you interested or not? Can you even stand being around me? This thing with that Yutou guy … do I remind you too much of him?"

"It's a lot easier to talk without someone sitting on my chest."

"Too damn bad." Jou was far more serious than Seto had ever seen him. "I need an answer. Give me one, and I'll leave."

"I … " Seto blushed and looked away, trembling slightly under Jou's heated stare. "I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Then when, Seto?" Something that might have been pain glimmered briefly in Jonouchi's eyes for a brief moment. "Please … I don't know how much longer I can take this."

"Give me a week."

"A week?"

"Yes, mutt. Seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours."

"Seto … I'm not going to lie. I want you. Badly." Jou ignored the insult, completely out of character for him. Suddenly the warmth of his weight on Seto's chest was all the dazed CEO could concentrate on, all that his world consisted of.

Seto shivered. "I know, pup. Give me some time to get things sorted out, alright?"

"You think you can heal in a week?"

"Can you wait any longer?"

Jou grinned and Seto relaxed; that was the expression he was used to. "Nah," Jou said, his accent returning, stronger than before. "Neva' was the patient type."

Seto gave him a weary half-smile. "I know."

~

"How is he?" Mokuba jumped up as Jou entered the room. The blonde shrugged.

"Wants ta sleep," he said in a flat voice. "He's not feelin' so hot."

"Are you going to be alright?" Yuugi asked, laying a gentle hand on Jonouchi's shoulder.

"Eh? Me? I'm fine, Yuug. Don' worry `bout me."

Yuugi crossed slim arms over his chest and gave Jonouchi his best "stop bullshitting me" stare.

Jonouchi sighed. "Soon as Seto's feelin' better, I will too."

~

He bolted upright in bed, shivering and sweating, his elegant fingers clenching the sheets in a white-knuckled death grip. His heart was pounding so loudly, that he was sure they could hear it downstairs.

This was absurd, a more rational part of his mind informed him. Seto Kaiba doesn't do fear. Be calm. Be in control.

He laughed, a nervous laugh, one that echoed off the walls and bounced back at him in an insane imitation of his own voice. He was scared. Terrified. How long had it been since he had felt like this? Shaking, gasping for air, curled up protectively. A headache threatened at the corners of his eyes and he massaged his throbbing temples with trembling fingers. A dream. It had only been a dream.

But it had been so real, so vivid. Bound, helpless, with the sharp fibers of the carpet covering his stepfather's office floor digging into his bare skin. Darkness, save for the pale light of the full moon streaming through the picture window. The silhouette of a man standing over him, watching as he writhed and pleaded to be set free.

And this same fear, the same inability to move or think or defend himself. The man had crouched down next to him, and Seto caught the gleam of white teeth flashing in an amused smile as the man's fingers trailed lazily down his body. "Yutou," he had gasped, begging. "Let me go, please let me go."

And suddenly the face had been inches from his own, the predatory grin widening. "Yutou?" his voice had questioned serenely. "Who's dat?"

"Jonouchi!"

And at that point he had awoken, and was sitting here now trying desperately to forget. Jonouchi would never do that, he assured himself. Don't confuse him with Yutou.

It was frustrating; he, who had read every book on psychology ever printed, couldn't banish these irrational thoughts from his mind. Being able to recognize the onset of paranoia and not being able to stop it was incredibly irritating.

"Onii-chan?"

Seto turned his head away. He didn't want Mokuba to see him like this. "What do you want?"

Mokuba froze; his brother's voice was quivering. "Onii-chan? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar." Mokuba shut the door behind him with a soft click and sat down next to his brother, taking him gently by the shoulders. Seto stiffened and jerked away, clutching his sheets around him. "Onii-chan, you're shaking. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Seto asked with a hint of a self-deprecating laugh. "What isn't?"

"That's a hell of an attitude. You were fine up until yesterday."

"If you say so."

"Well, I'd know so if you didn't hide so much!"

"Hide?"

"Yes, hide. When was the last time you actually talked to someone when you were upset? When was the last time you so much as hinted that everything wasn't perfect?"

"Everything is fine. I was only having a nightmare."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! Everything doesn't have to always be fine. You're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to hurt."

Seto snorted. "Yeah." He turned to look at Mokuba. "And how do you think your life would have turned out if I let myself fall apart? If I couldn't take what Gozaborou and Yutou did to me? They would have turned to you, Mokuba. If I had ended up in a psych ward, Kaiba Corp would have been passed to you. You would have been `trained.'"

"He's dead, Seto. He's been dead for years."

"And you think that makes it all go away? You think seeing that bastard dead made me forget that he let his friend fuck me? It hurt, Mokuba! It still hurts! I hate the fact that I can't even let Jonouchi touch me without having a panic attack! I hate drugging myself to forget, and I hate forcing myself to stay up until two in the morning just so I don't have to think before I fall asleep! I-hate-him-!" Seto bowed his head, fighting the angry tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes. He dug his fingernails into his palms until thin rivulets of blood streamed down his slender wrists.

Mokuba grabbed his hands. "Stop that," he ordered, forcing Seto's fingers open. "Don't hurt yourself." He wrapped his arms around his brother and held Seto to his chest. "Don't beat yourself up, onii-chan. It wasn't your fault."

"I didn't want him," Seto mumbled into Mokuba's shirt. "I don't care what he said, I didn't want him."

"I know, onii-chan. I know."