Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Pranking ❯ Telemarketer Torture part 1+2 ( Chapter 2 )

Telemarketers' torture

I hope that you liked the first chapter. Can anyone give me more ideas on what to do after this? I'm planning on writing on how to bother your colleges at work, but from there, I don't know what to do. Maybe three chapters are enough. Anyway, you decide! It's for your pleasure and not mine!

***

Scene: Yugi and Jou are sitting inside the Turtle Game shop kitchen, with the phone next to them. Jou looks bored and is tapping his fingers on the table. Yugi is leafing through the yellow pages.

Jou: So Yugi, when are these telemarketers goin'ta call?

Yugi glances over the big phone book that he was struggling to hold.

Yugi: Well, Grandpa said that a bunch of them would be calling the house soon…

Flash back

Grandpa: Yugi, tomorrow there are going to be salesmen calling the shop. If they call while I'm away, don't buy anything okay? Most of them are cons and will try ripping you off. I think they'll start from 3:00 and onwards. Why don't you get Jou to help you battle them off?

End of Flash back

Yugi: Well, it's almost three now just wait.

Jou looks at his watch. It's 2:59. The seconds tick by.

Jou: (Muttering) Three…two…one…

The phone rings on cue. Jou grabs it and sets it on loudspeaker so Yugi could hear it too.

Telemarketer: Hello, this is Amanda from the Toys'r'kewl company and-

Jou cuts her off and winks at Yugi.

Jou: You work for the Toys'r'kewl Company as well! Hey, I work for them too! That's a great company. Where are you calling from?

Telemarketer: Oh, um… Nermia.

Yugi stifles giggles. Jou grins and sits back in his chair.

Jou: Oh, they have a group there too. Well, sorry. But the company has a policy against selling products to their employees. Sorry, bye-bye.

Jou slams the phone down. Yugi breaks into laughter and Jou also cracks up. Yugi picks up the list that they had been working on a moment before. It was full of pranks.

Yugi: Let's try this one next.

The phone rings. Yugi picks it up and twirls it dramatically before placing it to his ear.

Yugi: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hello, this is Judy from the Connei Producers and I was wondering if you-

Yugi: Oh my God! Judy! Jeez, long time no hear. What ever happened to you? How have you been! Why haven't you called me sooner and stuff?

Judy: Um…do I know you?

Yugi: (mock hurt) Judy, I am disappointed and hurt. Don't you remember me?

Silence.

Yugi: Oh well, I guess that I have confused you with another person. Bye!

Yugi places the phone down.

Yugi: Well, how was that?

Jou shrugs.

Jou: Not too bad. Wait for the next one.

Jou studied the list for the next joke. The phone rings. Jou picks it up.

Jou: Hello?

Telemarketer: Good afternoon sir. Can I interest you in-

Jou: (in a flat voice) No.

Telemarketer: But sir, you have-

Jou: (He raises his voice a pitch higher) No.

Telemarketer: Well how about-

Jou: (This time lowers his voice) No.

Telemarketer: Oh come on, just-

Jou: (In a singsong voice) No.

The game carries on like this for several minutes, with Jou varying the note of his voice and the salesman desperately trying to persuade him to buy something. The telemarketer gives up. Jou hears the click of the receiver.

Jou: Heh, that was fun.

Yugi: No kidding, you were on there for quite a while. I wonder what Grandpa will say about the phone bills.

Jou: …(Blanch)

Yugi: (Grinning) anyway, lets carry on.

Jou: um…ok.

Phone rings on cue. Yugi takes it.

Yugi: (Makes his voice sinister sounding) Hello?

Telemarketer: Ah, good afternoon. I am Joe from Joe's cleaning department and we do jobs that vary from window washing to carpet cleaning. Can I help you in anything?

Yugi: (Still speaking darkly) You clean carpets do you? Well, can you get anything out of it?

Telemarketer: (Proudly) Yep that's right. We can get wine, mud, grass stains, glue, dye, ink-

Yugi: Anything? How about goat blood? Or HUMAN blood?

Telemarketer: (Silence…puts the receiver down)

Yugi, chuckling darkly to himself also places the phone back in its cradle. Jou stares at him.

Jou: Okay Yugi, that was not very funny. That was evil…

Yugi: (Shrugging) Yeah, I know.

Glances at the clock.

Yugi: Oh, yeah! Grandpa said that he would cut the phone line and repair it in an hour so lets give it a

break.

Jou: Yeah, sure.

They leave the phone and go watch tv.

***

Torture the Telemarketers! Part two

SakT: This stinks. I have really bad writers block and have been trying to work on my other fics, BUT I HAVE NO BLOODY IDEAS!!!

Y.Bakura: (Eye twitching) SHUT UP WOMAN!

SakT: FINE! (Grin ^_____^)

***

Jou and Yugi sit watching the TV, bored. Very bored. (Be afraid, be very afraid.) Yugi keeps looking at his watch. Jou is staring at the flickering screen now airing a bikini ad. Yugi's watch starts beeping and Jou tears his eyes away from the half-naked women prancing around in swimwear. Yugi grins and beckons Jou to the kitchen. On the table, sits… the PHONE.

Yugi: (Now hyper) The connection's back on!

Jou: (Growling) `Bout time too. Now, I'll go first. (Phone rings)

FemaleTM: Hello! Is this the man of the house?

Jou: (Huskily) Hang on…what are you wearing?

FemaleTM: (Hangs up)

Yugi starts laughing and Jou pouted.

Jou: What? I was being serious.

Yugi: At this rate, you'll scare every member of the female population away.

Jou: Hmpf.

Phone rings. Yugi picks it up.

Yugi: Hello?

TM: Hello, this is Daphne from Heaf and Bots Insurance.

Yugi: Right…

Daphne goes on and gives Yugi some information and Yugi responds with the occasional `that's amazing' and `uh-huh'.

TM: So then sir, what do you think?

He doesn't answer for a few seconds. Then…

Yugi: Will you marry me?

Jou, whom was busy raiding the Mouto's fridge, jumped in surprise and banged his head. He stared at Yugi, who ignored him in return.

Yugi: (Sheepishly) I mean, just think about it at least.

TM: (Doesn't answer)

Yugi chokes up a sob.

TM: S-sir, we've…um…just met but I can't…um.

Yugi: Well, if not me, then who? If not now, when?

The telemarketer hangs up. Jou is still shocked.

Yugi: What?

Jou: Y-you were joking, right?

Yugi turns pale.

Yugi: OF COURSE!

Jou: (lets out sigh of relief) That's good. Man, I thought you were serious.

Yugi: (Grin ^__^)

Phone rings

Jou: Hello?

TM: Hello, I work for the Simatic Wear Corp. and I think that-

Jou: OH MY GOD!!!! (Slams the phone down)

Yugi: ???? What the heck was that about?

Jou: (Shrugging) Don't know. But you gotta admit, that was original, baby!

Yugi: Yeah, whatever.

Phone rings. Yugi picks it up.

Yugi: Hello?

TM: Good afternoon sir. Could I interest you in-

Yugi: Oh, sorry. I can't talk now, but if you give me your number and address, then I can call you back.

TM: Oh, um. Sorry I can't give out my home number, but why don't-

Yugi: Oh, I see. You don't want strangers calling you at home! Now you know how I feel. (Puts the phone down.)

Jou: Well, that's true…

Yugi: Yeah, I know…

Jou: This is getting boring. Wanna go to the arcade?

Yugi: Sure.

They go.

***

SakT: I'm busy watching Noa kicking Seto's ass. It's really disheartening.

Seto: Mokuba, how can you betray me?

Mokuba: I WAS BRAINWASHED.

SakT: Yeah! Yugi has just reminded Mokuba of his past. GO YUGI!

Seto: You're strong Mokuba! You can beat him!

Mokuba: I remember!

SakT: Read and review!