Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Testing the YGO Cast's Sanity ❯ Welcome to the Demon's Den ( Chapter 2 )

Pilae: Hello! Now, as I promised my boyfriend, we will be posting the rating, warnings, and disclaimer in this first chapter. Pyros, since you brought them up, you get to do those lovely little things for me.

Pyros: Why should I?

Pilae: Would you like to sleep on the couch?

Pyros: Not again! Oh, fine...

Rating: No one knows and no one ever will because Pilae's friends want it NC-17, but it wouldn't be on ff.net where it should be, so they want her to make it R but then Kat takes over and makes it NC-17 again which is why they've been kicked off of ff.net so many times before anyone has the chance to read their fics.

Warnings: Hints at yaoi-ness. Language. Hentai thoughts and suggestions. Oh, and people will probably be OOC just cuz Pilae and Kat thinks it's funny.

Disclaimer: Pilae and Kat do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. If they did, the show would be returned to its original glory. Including the cursing, yaoi-ness, and, basically, make the show fit for people either over 18 or with very mature minds (hentai) and not for little kiddies like it is now. Also, Ryou's hair would be blue-tinted and his eyes would be green again, Seto's hair would green, and the show would not be fucked up in America.

Pilae: I knew it! I knew Pyros would somehow manage to curse, even with the script I gave him! You owe me ten bucks, Kat!

Kat: Ra damn it! *hands over the money*

Pyros: *tries to sneak away*

Pilae: Hand over my ten bucks, Pyros.

Kat: How does he owe you ten dollars?

Pilae: I was betting you would say `Ra damn it'sometime between the disclaimer and the actual beginning of Chapter One.

Pyros: *hands over the money*

Pilae: Yay! I made twenty dollars in less than five minutes! ^_^

~In background as Pilae counts her money~

Kat: I'll bet you ten grand Pilae sticks you in a cage for a full chapter before me.

Pyros: You're on.

~Back to the entire group~

Kat: Now, before Pyros and I lose more money to Pilae and our bet begins, enjoy the fic! Oh, yeah.

Extra warning: If you are not insane, then don't read. *points to door, beyond which is the mouth of a volcano* Excellent. Now that only the insane remain, we can be sure that nobody will go insane, just go more insane.

Also: Any words in all caps are used to stress it, such as shouting.

We can now get on with this interview and the insanity. Let's begin!

Pilae: Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter One

Pilae: Konban wa, everybody, and welcome to the Demon's Den chatroom. No, we're not on the Internet. It's just called a chatroom because it's a room where we chat. Now, make yourselves comfy.

Everybody: *sit in black and red chairs*

Pilae: Now, is everyone seated and ready for our little interview?

Everyone: *various shades of white, dreading the questions about to be asked*

Pilae: Oh, goody. Let's begin. You may think these questions are a bit personal, but they are merely to satisfy the readers'curiosity. Mokuba, why are you dating Mai?

Mokuba: Because she's cooler than Seto and a whole lot nicer.

Mai: *glares at Mokuba*

Mokuba: And I love her a lot.

Pilae: Yami, why do you hang out with a friendship based bitch like Téa?

Yami: Yugi hangs out with her because she threatened to kill me and I'm his friend, so unfortunately, it's a double deal. I get to spend time with Yugi *gives said shrimp a sidelong glance with loving eyes (yes, it'll be SHONEN-AI!!!!! *fans everywhere* WOOHOO! YAY! (basically a huge celebration)*)* and she doesn't kill me.

Pilae: Tri- WHAT THE HELL?!? *sudden noises are heard in the background*

Kat: Move over and give me a turn, inu shoujo!

Pilae: How dare you! I gave you a Jou plushie!

Jou: *turns green at the idea of one of the insane people having a plushie of him*

Kat: So? It's my turn to ask the questions! *sudden silence falls over the room* Yo. I'm the authoress's cousin, Kat, and I'll be asking the questions. *walks into view, holding the Jou plushie and Jou moves closer to Seto for safety reasons* So, Jou, what d'you think of me?

Jou: Ummm... *_*"

Kat: *Holding Jou's pocky over her mouth*)

Jou: I...um...think you're a really cute cat demon.

Seto: O.O

Kat: YAY!!! I'm loved! *eats pocky*

Jou: Hey! You said I would get my pocky back if I said you were cute!

Seto: You did that for pocky?!?

Jou: I love pocky! Can ya blame me?

Kat: You didn't sound like you meant it. Even I could tell you were forced to say it.

Jou: You were the one who made me say it!

Pilae: *shoves Kat out the door* Go make another bet with Pyros. Make it twenty grand this time.

Kat: You know how much we were betting?

Pilae: Yeah. I told Pyros he would sleep on the couch for a week if he didn't tell me.

Kat: Ra damn it! I swore him to secrecy about that! Pay up, Ryou.

Bakura: What the hell? I didn't know Ryou was betting on things!

Ryou: Sorry, Bakura. I didn't tell you `cause I didn't think I'd lose.

Bakura: *eyes narrow* How much did you bet?

Ryou: *pulls out wallet and shrugs* Fifty dollars. We had a bet that Kat didn't know that Pyros was so afraid of sleeping on the couch that he'd tell Pilae anything. I thought she knew. *looks at Bakura as he hands over the money* Ummm, I think I'll be going now... *runs off*

Bakura: *runs after him* You baka! You never make a bet with someone about their relatives or people they're dating! They know everything about them and know that they'll win! Even a two year old dueling monkey knows that! Get back here!

Pilae: *_* Okay... I think there's a lesson here. If your name is Ryou, never let your yami, if they happen to be an insane tomb-robber named Bakura, know that you're betting. I'll never bet against Ryou again.

Yugi: Can we just get on with this, please?

Pilae: Sure. Bakura, stop trying to kill Ryou because he was betting behind your back.

Bakura: Why?

Pilae: *rolls eyes, sighing* It's myfault Ryou was betting.

Bakura: *stops* You?

Pilae: *notices look in Bakura's eyes and backs away slowly* Ummm...no?

Pyros: Stop lying. It is so your fault Ryou was betting.

Pilae: Hey! You're supposed to believe me no matter what!

Pyros: And your point is...?

Pilae: ...I don't know.

Bakura: *moves closer to Pilae*

Pilae: *runs off screaming* AHHH!

Pyros: *watches calmly* Since my girlfriend seems to have run off, I'll be continuing this interview. Yami, who would you choose, Yugi or Téa?

Yami: What the hell kinda question is that?

Pyros: Answer it now before I tell Rebecca that you're in love her.

Yami: *terrified* Ra no! Yugi! I would choose Yugi! Always Yugi! Yugi is always first for me, no matter what!

Yugi: ...Um, Yami? Are you okay?

Jou: We all know you would choose Yugi no matter what, but I think you went a little overboard there.

Seto: Stay out of it, dog boy.

Jou: Dog boy?!? That's it, Kaiba! *pounces on his lover and anime cloud of dust as they fight*

Kat: Come on, Jou! Beat him, beat him!

Pyros: Um, Kat?

Kat: Yeah?

Pyros: Where's Bakura and Pilae?

Kat: Right there.

Pyros: Where?

Kat: Over there. *points at Pilae, who's dragging a bound and gagged Bakura behind her*

Pilae: Hello, all. I'm back.

Pyros: Oh, joy.

Pilae: Shut up before you get the cage.

Pyros: Crap.

Kat: Cage, cage, cage! Put him in the cage! *squeezing the life out of the Jou plushie*

Jou: *stops trying to break out of Kaiba's hold* Why Ra, why? Why do I deserve this?

Kaiba: *rolls eyes* Do you even have to ask?

Jou: Shut up. *starts struggling again; he and Kaiba end up in a VERY compromising position*

Pyros: Why the cage for me? Why not her?

Pilae: *points to the extra plushies in Kat's hands*

Pyros: -_-;

Pilae: She threatened to force my Ryou and Bakura plushies make out with the Marik and Malik plushies.

*the four mentioned shudder* Exactly. So I can't risk it.

Pyros: But aren't you supposed to love me no matter what? I mean, I AM your boyfriend.

Kat: This sounds like when she said you were supposed to be on her side when Bakura was ready to kill her.

Pyros: I'll never live that down, will I?

Pilae: Nope. So see ya later.

Pyros: I'll kill you both for this! I'll never hand over the ten grand I now owe Kat or bet against you ever again!

Kat: Here. Hold these. *hands over all five plushies* (Pilae: Yes, even the Jou plushie. (all: *gasp*) Pilae: I know. Terrifying, huh? We shall ask Ra to spare Pyros's life. (all: ...) Pyros: Come on, you guys! Have mercy on a poor dog demon like me! (all: ...) Pyros: ... -_-*)

Pilae: My Bakura and Ryou plushies! *runs off to hide them in a safe place as Kat attacks Pyros*

Pyros: Evil cats!

Kat: *hisses and tries to bite him*

Pilae: *comes back in* HEY! Only I'm allowed to bite Pyros! *pulls Kat away from the boy*

Kat: He...called cats... *snarls*

Pilae: Yes? He called cats...?

Kat: EVIL! *breaks out of Pilae's grasp and attacks Pyros*

Pilae: *instead of helping bf, she helps cousin try to kill him*

Both: CATS ARE NOT EVIL, YOU SON OF A HUMAN!

Pyros: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? *furious and tries to hit them harder*

Both: YOU HEARD US!!

Ryou: Since they appear to be otherwise engaged, let's end this interview for tonight.

Bakura: What d'you mean, `for tonight'?

Ryou: Apparently, the authoress's friends have already reviewed, so she has several more chapters planned.

Bakura:*falls to knees, screaming* WHY RA, WHY? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS? *remembers who he is* Oh, right. Heheheh...

Yami and Yugi: WHAT HAVE ANY OF US DONE TO DESERVE THIS TORTURE? WHY MUST WE BE PUT THROUGH THIS HELL? WHY???????????????

Ryou: Um, yeah... Anyways, let's end for tonight. R&R, everybody. Arigatou and ja ne!

Bakura: Yeah, yeah. Whatever he said. *pouting because he's being put through hell with Ryou and can't even make out with him*

Ryou: Aw, cheer up, `Kura. *kisses Bakura on the cheek*

Bakura: *decides to get a little more physical and everyone takes off to leave them to their fun*

Pilae, Kat, (both uninjured) and Pyros (who is sporting a bloody nose, two black eyes, a cracked tooth, five broken ribs, a busted wrist, a twisted ankle, and various other injuries): Ja ne!