Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Things you will NEVER hear or see Yami/Yuugi do! ❯ Chapter 1

THIS IS MY FRIEND'S LADY YAMI'S FIC!!!! SO THESE AREN'T MY IDEAS!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! If you sue me I'll pull a card out of my pocket or have Yami beat the living crap out of you. (And he will ^_~)



I don't wanna play!

Fights aren't nice.

I like Barbies better.

Anzu, I'm in love with you ad I wanna get married!

Yuugi is my role model; I wanna be just like him when I grow up!

Cookies and milk anyone? (In pink frilly apron)

*Trips and falls on his face*

Egypt sucks!

I'm trading in my puzzle piece for a disco medallion. * Starts doing funky disco moves in white suit *

I'M BATAMAAAAAANNNN! * Is running around with cape singing the batman song *

* Singing that lame song * I'm to sexy for shirt, to sexy for my cape, to sexy for the cards, to sexy for Anzu, way to sexy for her...

(Is tap dancing)

I want a new outfit!

I like zippers better than buckles.

(In valley girl tone) WHATEVER!

(Dances with Yuugi)


AN: Read the title, umm... I have fun writing these, so this is just for fun. LOL...Oh man...I'm like nuts...

(Is doin little dance with the hips) OH YEAH! I DA MAN! BOOYA! WHOS EVIL? IM EVIL BABY! YEAH!

Why is it that my symbol is an eyeball thingy? Why can't it be the Powerpuff Girls Symbol?

Ima Card Captor! C'mon Kero!

(Steals Yuugi's lunch money)

Oh...No...Nothing will happen to you if you loose against me...

Please don't hurt me, I'm tender...

I suck...

(Is lecturing Honda, Yuugi, Jou, Anzu and Me) Why in my day...

Kaiba is SO my best friend...

I feel badly about myself... (Sniffle, Sniffle)

I think Yuugi is very brave...IM SO PROUD!!!

Romans are cool.

Part 2 - Things that I would end up saying, or others that would result in death by Yuugi If Yami was real, and I talked to him, I would so be dead, cause Im brave and fairly brainless...I talk back wicked bad. ^_~ Can't tell you how many times I've gotten detention for that... The Death scale will tell you how PO Yami gets if you do this, basically your impending death timer. Death Scale: 8 - Pretty Dumb of you to say...Hes going to stab you | 9: Uh-Oh! Run Away!!! | 10: Yami will rip you apart and eat your soul (so you better call that stupid number for the funeral insurance)
Things I would Say:

Nasty old coot! (Death Scale: 8)

Your hair resembles a fern... (Death Scale: 8.2)

You smell funny! Oh yeah...Egyptians didn't bathe often...0_o (Death Scale: 9)

(Makes moose ears at Yami) Na-na-na-na-NAAANNNAAA! You can't catch me, because you're so slow! =P (Death Scale: 8.5)

You couldn't win a card game if all the best strategy guides were up your butt, you smelly old Pharaoh baka! (Death Scale:9.9)

Egypt stinks... (Death Scale: 10)

GIRLY MAN!!! GWA HA HA HA! (Death Scale: 10)

YAMI FARTED! (Death Scale: 10)

Things I would end up asking:

Can you kill my math teacher for me?

Terminate my brother, onneeegggaiiii?

How do you get your hair to stay up like that?

Can you beat this level of my Power Puff Girls game for Game Boy Color for me?

1. Hoe!! (Pronounced Ho-ay , Card Captor Sakura fans will get that, Japanese expression meaning huh, can be used as a word expressing extreme/shock/dismay/exhaustion)

2. ::Starts singin:: I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle here is my spout...and when I shout tip me over and pour me out! ::when he tips he falls on his face with just his legs sticking up::

3. Oh where, O where has my little dog-god gone, O where could Anubis be...

4. WAZZUP? ::with tongue sticking out::

5. ::colors pictures of unicorns and rainbows with him and Anzu rideing on it::

6. ::clears throat:: I am going to make number two in the bathroom, do not interrupt me... (the authoress has now passesd out clutching her Inuyasha plushie, was has its eyes bulging out because Lady Yami is squeezing it so hard cuz she's in shock)

7. ::very loud burp::

8. ::makes noises like Curly from the Three Stooges:::

9. ::like Dil from Rug Rats:: POOOOOPPYYY!

Part 2 - I made up Nicknames for Yam-yam

1. Yam-yam - Cute little pet name if he ever had any slutty bimbo hanging around him all the time...wait a minute... maybe he does...>XD j/k

2. Uncle Yami - Awww...Can you imagine some little kid calling him that? ^_^

3. This is MY favorite - Pharaoh Fern Head - LMAO! I was laughing so hard when I thought this up, I was jumping on the trampoline with my friend earlier today, and I thought of it and started laughing so hard I almost fell off. C'mon people...

Part 3 - Conversations he Will Never Have with People

::In the middle of a game::

Yami: Stop!
Opponent: Why?
Yami: The Brady Bunch is on and I'm gonna miss it!
Opponent: No way! ::tries to block Yami from going to meet his doom...ah...favorite TV show::
Yami: ::in freaky demon/possessed voice:: FOOLISH MORTAL! YOU DARE STAND IN MY WAY!!! ::uses Meo Twister on Opp. That's one of Zidane Tribal's trance abilities from FF9::

Yami: ::kneels on floor in front of Anzu:: Anzu, will you marry me?
Anzu: I'm in love with Evil Bakura...

::Yami in the shower:: Livin in a Materiel World.IMA MATERIEL GIRL! (That's an old Madonna song my mom loves)

::In his Egyptian outfit:: Do these pants make my butt look big?

Things I did Alone:

::In a new-yorker accent:: Sos as I's says to the guy.I says..Hahts Shatterz!

The wheels on the bus go round and round and round and round..

My name is Cloud Strife, I'm a mercenary, and I'm EVIL.

I am a Genome, my name is Zidane Tribal

::looks at Anzu and imagines her in Egyptian outfit:: Anuck su- Namon!

Me: Oh no! Who let him watch the Mummy?! -.-0

Conversations:

Yami: Yuugi, I have determined something HIGHLY important.

Yuugi: O.O! What?!

Yami: I don't like Maximillian Pegasus.

Yuugi: Gee.really? ::sarcastic::

Yami: YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A WAY?

Yami: ::throws down his dice in the middle of the game with Kaiba:: That's it! I'm sick of fighting.it just goes nowhere! Kaiba, lets just be friends!

Kaiba: -.-0

Yami: Ne? Ne?

Kaiba: NO!

Yami: ::starts crying::

(Thanks to Jenry for the idea)

Yami: Lady Yami I think your cousin is hot.

Lady Yami: O.O! ::evil grin::

Yami: Set me up please!

Lady Yami: Okay! ^_^

Her Cousin SUIE: OMG! ::faints::

Yami: * goes super saiyn in the middle of a game* MWA HA HA HA! DIE KAKKAROT!!!

Jou: What the?! Okay! Who let him watch DBZ? Who does he think he is, Vegeta?

Me: * walks in * NO he's Fajita, and your Krusty Snot!

Yami: Final flash- no! I mean Heart Shatter!

* nothing happens *

Jou: -.-0 Yami's just went insane

Me: Waddya mean JUST WENT insane.he always was.^_^0

Yami: Anzu.I've got the hots for you. * seductive smile *

Anzu: I TOLD YOU I LIKE EVIL BAKURA!

::starts singing 'Sobakasu':: All the memories that I have are beautiful in my mind!

Note: 'Sobakasu' (freckles) is the Rurouni Kenshin theme song. It's WICKED cute.

I'm getting a large tattoo on my back of the Millennium Puzzle!

Note: COOL! ^.^

Anyone got any hair gel? I think Is should fix my hair.

Yugi, shut the hell up.

I enjoy the company of small children.

Why must I always save you? Go save your own ass.

I won't help any of you until I get my pay in cinnamon buns.

What? Turban-boy? Let him right in and I'll go make some tea!

I need a shower.

0.o Umm.Anzu...Put your shirt on.

IM SACRFICING ANZU TO ANUBIS! MWA HA HA HA!

I wanna try on a new outfit.

Fly at higher game!!!

Note: One of the lines from 'Kawaita Sakebi', the first season Yu-Gi-Oh them song.

Hey, cool! They're offering half off on a flight to Egypt! Lets go!

Lady Yami (me) ::splashes holy water on Yami::

Yami: IT BURNS!!! ::writhes in pain::

::Anzu, Jou, Honda and Ryou come out from behind wall::

Anzu: I was right!

Jou: Be jezas!

Yami: @_@

Nikkei Me0: Okay, wheres my pay?! I want translated copies of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga, NOW!

Honda: ::hands YGH manga to Nikkei::

Nikkei: ^.^ YAY!! ::runs off::

Yami: ::looks at others:: ::glares::

Others: O.O ::screen fades out:: ::Many bad noises heard::

Pu! Pu!

Note: Any Magic Knight Rayearth fans out there? THINK MOKONA! ^.^

I missed the football game, goddamnit.

WEEEEEEE!!!!! THAT'S FUNNNN!!!

Hiya guys! Sup?

::sticks tongue out:: NYA!

::starts singing Dragon Ball GT theme song:: Dan Dan.

Yami: Yami means darkness, correct?

Me: Yep. ^_^ (Like my name, Lady Yami [darkness])

Yami: Why can't I be Hikari? T_T

Me:..

Yami Hikari: Whats so wrong?!

Me: Hikari is a girly name.

Yami: You can call me Kari! ^_^

Me: ::runs away:: I will not be Lady Hikari.blah.I'm to evil for that.

Yapapa.! ::is humming tune::

Note: First Ranma

Why do I have no nose in the manga, WHY?

Why do I like *more* of a psychopath in the manga?

Ew...Malik....girl...I mean man....um...that turban is SO last season!

*in the middle of dueling*

MWA HA HA! *thinking to himself* 'Now, if I can just draw the Dark Magician'

Opponent: O.O

Yami: *draws card, then drops it, screaming like a girl* AHHHH!!!

Opponent: O.O

Yami: Like...oh my god...I BROKE A NAIL! AHHH! *runs away screaming*

Where's Egypt?

Anzu, can we play basketball together?

AN: In the first Yu-Gi-Oh manga, the boys making the girls play basketball in skirts so they could try to see up their skirts, lol.

*runs away from Yami no Bakura screaming*

*listening to headphones* I'm a barbie girl...in a Barbie world...*takes headphones off,all dreamy*

Yami: Oh....I can so relate to this song...

Lady Yami: O.O

Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow...mewo meow meow meow meow! *meow mix song*

AN: Has anyone every seen the video of Cell singing the Meow Mix song? LMAO!

Yami: *snaps goggles on his head and puts on a flaming bomber jacket* DIGI -ARMOR ENERGIZE!

Anzu: *dressed like Sora* Umm...-.-0

AN: Lol, Davis and Sora from Digimon. Got the idea from the song, I'm currenly listening to 'Butter-Fly', the first season OP. EXCELLENT song.

My favorite card is...the fluffy mop card!

*hugs a stuffed Malik plushy* ^^ Malik is Yami's fwiend....

Oro oro oro oro.....@_@

AN: Kenshin's infamous phrase.

*in the middle of a duel with Seto*

Seto: Mwa ha ha!

Yami: *looks around, lip puckered*

Seto: Whats your problem, Yugi?

Yami: >.<0...

Seto:...?

Yami:...well...

Seto: SPIT IT OUT!

Yami:...I kinda haveta.....use the little duelist's room..heh heh...

Seto and All Viewers: *anime crash*