Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yu-gi-oh! Bloopers ❯ Chapter 1: Inside Look And Gay Attacks! ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I DO own Yu-gi-oh! That's right! I am the real Kazuki Takahashi in disguise, as a distressed 15 year old girl who everyone `thinks' worships the show! That's right, it is I! Bwhahahaha!!! ^____^ Ok, it's not Takahashi-san, just a distressed 15 year old girl obsessed with Yu-gi-oh! And merely creating twisted plots to mess around with the wonderful characters -_____- …Can I go now?

A/N: Hello everyone! It's me, Kino-chan, back with another Yu-gi-oh story! I know my other story, "Love Doesn't Have To Be Logical" isn't done, and that you're all dying for an update, BUT, I have more to come, don't worry! I just need to stop being lazy and write! @@ Er…anyway, this is my first shot at humor. I'm going to already bet that it sucks, is too majorly out of whack to be considered funny, and…that I can never write good humor *Hangs head* Ok well…Just please read and review, and let me know if I should continue this! Because if not, then what's the point in writing more? Thank you!

Warning: This story contains hints of yaoi, shounen-ai, violence, intimate moments, and random acts of stupidity and cruelness. That is all ^-^

Scene 1: Act 5

Director dude: Ok…scene redo…aaaannndd…action!!

Seto: *Evil Kaiba laughter* I WILL beat Yugi in a duel! I will!! Bwhahahahaha!

Bwhahahah…ha…ha…ha…heh…What was the line again?

Director dude: *Face faults off his chair* Seto, Seto, come on work for me baby! This is the 5th redo in less than 30 minutes!! My coffee's threatening to dull here! Like, HELLO? Dull coffee is like, so not good.

Seto: *Takes script from random crewmember person* Hmm…uhum…*Eyes widen* Aha! That's it! *Throws script aside*

Director dude: Seto are you like, feeling all right?

Seto: Of course I am you fool, I'm Seto Kaiba! I'm always all right! *Laughs* Oh and *Mocking voice* Are you, like, a woman now?

Random little girl: But how come youw eyes have black ciwcle thingys undew tem and you smell funny? *Points at him*

Seto: …Who let this child in?…

Little girl: I am not a child! *Puffs out cheeks* I'm alweady 3 and a half yeas old!

Seto: Yeah, yeah, that's great hon, now…go play with your little Barbies somewhere else. We have work to do…

Little girl: o.o Die evil wich man!! *Throws a random Barbie doll at him*

Seto: o.o I've been struck with a plastic slut! *Rolls around on ground like a wounded solider* Ahhhh the pain! The pure, utter, adultery pain!!! @.@..

Director dude: …Seto, get off the floor you're embarrassing yourself, and me. Save the drama for the camera babe…

Seto: *Stands up shooting sparks at the director* Oh Morty…*Demented smile spreads across face as he grabs a random standing light and approaches him* What did I say was gonna happen when you called me names like THOSE??!!

Director dude: Well what if I want to get punished? *Smirks* ^.~

Seto: o.o FAG!! DIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!! *Pounces on director to pound the hell out of him with his light*

Little girl: Ahh my eyes! My poor wittle eyes!! Mommy!!!!!! *Runs off*

Random crewmember: Who the hell let her in???

*Someone is heard whistling innocently off in the distance*

Random crewmember: …Wheelerrr…

Joey: What am I supposed to do when she shoves a teddy bear full of metal claws and fang teeth in my face? That kid's freaky!! @.@

Little girl: I heawd dat! I'm gonna tell my mommy on you!!

Joey: Oh no, please! Please don't do that! Mommy doesn't need to know. *Hands her a pixie stick* Will you keep quiet for Uncle Joey for candy?

Little girl: *Takes it* You gots a deal hon! *Walks off happily eating her pixie stick*

Joey: *Whispers* See…

Director dude: No! Please Seto have mercy! Think of the show, the money, my LIFE, the money…I'M TOO RICH AND BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!!!!

Joey and crewmember in unison: Eww…… *Makes a face*

Joey, Tristen, Duke, and Yami: *All dressed in cheerleader outfits waving pink and white pom-pom's as they cheered on Seto beating the director near sudden death* S-E-T-0, he's the guy with all the dough! Seto! Seto! Gooooo Seto!!

Seto: Evil…*Gasp*…Perv…*Gasp*…You…Will… DIE!!! *Hits him again and sees that Morty has been beaten unconscious* Eh…eh…*Takes deep breaths with eerie eyes*

Random crewmember: Hello, 991 emergency? We need an ambulance here pronto, and please make sure there are no men aboard…

* * * No one was actually killed during this blooper, just brutally beaten to unconsciousness, tortured, and some certain dolls belonging to a random little girl were set on fire later on…Who did it? That's classified…* * *

Scene 11: Act 3

Director dude: Ok! *Wrapped in bandages looking like a mummy with a life support on his left and a security guard on his right* Take 3! And…… Action!!

Bakura: Soon I will have defeated Yugi in a duel and then I will have all the Millennium Items necessary to rule th-BUNNIES!!!! FUZZY PINK BUNNIES!! YOU HAVE COME AT LAST!! *Eyes are blood shot, big, and he sounded high*

Director dude: o.o

Bakura: Look at the cute little bunny wunny's!! They hop so…woah man. O.o *Starts petting cameras which he thinks are bunnies* Good bunny, niiccccee buuuunnnyyyyy… *Creepy smile forms on face*

Director dude: …Ok who left the weed out of the safe again??

Joey and Tristen: *Whistling innocently* Um…Malik and Marik did it…

Malik and Marik: No, you two did! We saw you sneak into the kitchen! And you came out dancing in tutus saying you were in the Nutcracker!!

Joey and Tristen: No, you two were doing that!! O.o

Malik and Marik: No you!!

Joey and Tristen: YOU!

Malik and Marik: YOU!!

Joey and Tristen: YOU!!!

Malik and Marik: YOU!!!!

All four: YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Director dude: I BET ALL FOUR OF YOU DID! NOW SHUT UP AND GET THE TRANQUILZER GUN BEFORE HE STARTS TO THINK ABOUT WORLD DOMINATING LEPRICHANS!!! @.@

All: Yes sir! *Each grab a heavy-duty tranquilizer gun and shoot a dart at Bakura, striking him in the ass*

Bakura: *Gasps* Oh no! They got me! I've been struck with the ammo!! Don't leave me, my furry animal followers!!! *Starts going over dramatic, coughing, struggling, and giving wide eyes as his consciousness starts to fade into a dim pink light* I can see the light, my slaves!!! Oh Ra I see the light!! Ah… *Falls asleep* zzz… *Snores*

Director dude: If only he could act that way on camera… *Eyes grow big and sparkly* Ok boys take him away! *Eyes return to normal*

Boys: *Each pick him one arm or leg at time and trot off to the clinic for the non-clinically insane*

Bakura: *Snore* No Mummy, I don't want to go to school, the other boys make fun of me…They make fun of my leopard skin briefs… zzz

Yami and Seto: *Take down information for future blackmail* Hehe…

Yuugi: Guys, I don't think that's… Candy!! *Takes chocolate bars offered by Yami and Seto, grinning, and skips happily off*

Director dude: Ok…since like, Bakura is now out for about the next, hmm.. *Looks at watch* 8 hours, we will now…

*Is cut off by the sounds of struggling, objects being thrown, screams, and insane giggles of the aftermath of crack*

Bakura: No, you will never take me alive you damned leprechauns! Why can't you all be like Lucky, and give pretty little marshmallows to us poor children?!! WHY??? *Punches something* Back I say!!

Director dude: *Sighs and sips coffee given by his hot buff guard* This is gonna be a loooonng night..

Guard: I can help shorten up… *Evil grin*

Director dude: Ooooo I like this type of security. *Winks* Feel free to start protecting me anytime…

Random little girl: Ewww…gross two guys together!

Little girls mother: Jenny, I told you to stop sneaking in here! And those aren't two guys together! That's a dumb dumb and transvestite.

Jenny: Ooooooooh I see…

* * *

A/N: Well that's all I have for now people. Sorry it was so short, but I wanted to post this as soon as possible. Well, like I said, please review and tell me if this is worth continuing. And I promise I'll get working on Love Doesn't Have To Be Logical. Ja ne!