Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ The Gohan and Fred Show ❯ The Pot of Gold at the End of the Twentyeighth Chapter ( Chapter 28 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (This statemen may become confusing in a few minutes, but yes, I still own nothing!)

 

The Gohan and Fred Show (episode 28)

 

The usual stage is now empty, save for one lone man. He is goofy looking and has those blinding white lenses in his glasses.

 

???: I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby give my permission for Excel Saga to be turned into a talk show fanfiction. (a stamp that says Koshi Rikdo in kanji is shown)

 

Kevin: (walking out) Actually, you...didn't.

 

Koshi: What?

 

Kevin: Yeah, I never got your permission.

 

Koshi: But I just gave it to you.

 

Kevin: Well, none of this is real...you see?

 

Koshi: ...No.

 

Kevin: Just take my word on it. Now, we return to our regularly schedule fanfiction! (screen flashes to the empty set, now completely empty. Camera zooms in on a closet in the background. The cast is sitting inside the closet)

 

Gohan: Hello and welcome to the Gohan...

 

Fred: And Fred...

 

Gohan: Show. As usual, Kevin is still here. Exactly how long have you been here?

 

Kevin: On this show or in this closet?

 

Gohan: The show.

 

Kevin: Well, I think we're approaching a year right now. But we've been in this closet for the last three weeks.

 

Gohan: It's amazing none of us has died of starvation...I mean, I'm so hungry right now, I could eat any one of you pathetic humans!!!

 

Fred: ...You know, I like him when he's hungry.

 

Gohan: Anyway, Kevin's fanfiction herem is also here.

 

UW: Well, I mean it's not like we can go anywhere...

 

Sara: Yeah...zombies and all.

 

Hanami: We really should think of someway to combat them...I mean, I want to sleep in my own bed for once.

 

Angel: (with two girls behind her) I know what you mean. I--

 

Kevin: Who are they?

 

Angel: Who? Them? Oh, they're my bitches...

 

Kasy: (one of the girls) Hey, I'm offended.

 

Kita: (the other) Yeah!

 

Angel: I meant bitches in the good way.

 

Kasy and Kita: Oh, okay.

 

Gohan: So basically, they're like your fanfiction herem.

 

Angel: Of course.

 

Kevin: I thought only I could have a fanfiction herem.

 

Angel: Well, you don't have a monopoly on them or anything.

 

Kasy: Can't we play Clue instead?

 

Kita: No, I want to play Life!

 

Kevin: ...Hey, wait a second. If we've been stuck in here for three weeks, why haven't I seen them before?

 

Kita: ...Are you serious? We've been here the whole time.

 

Kasy: Yeah, and you had random conversations with us. We talked about movies and music and...well, lots of things.

 

Kevin: I did?

 

Fred: It's okay, Kevin's gone stupid from hunger.

 

Asuka: Okay, I'm getting tired of just sitting in here. As stage manager, I demand that someone do something about the zombies.

 

Hiei: I could kill them all.

 

Kevin: Actually, you can't. They're already dead.

 

Hiei: Mission accomplished.

 

Sara: No...the zombies are still there.

 

UW: What we need is a scouter. Someone to go out and give us information on the zombies.

 

Kevin: Yes, but everyone in here is too valuable to sacrifice to the zombies...(suddenly getting an idea) I hereby decree that J. Crown will be allowed back onto the show.

 

J. Crown: (walking in) YES!!! Finally!

 

Kevin: I'm glad to hear that you're glad to be back on the show. And now your first order of business is to go gather information on those zom....I mean, people out there. Just go up to them and ask them some questions.

 

J. Crown: Why should I?

 

Kevin: Cause if you don't, I'll kick you off the show again.

 

J. Crown: (shrugs) Hm...fair enough. (walks out the door. Everyone else peeks out from safety and watches) Hey guys, I've got some questions for you. Number 1, what is the--AHHHHHH!!!!! (J. Crown is then ripped apart from the zombies)

 

Kevin: (closing the door) Well, I've gathered enough information by watching the vicious slaughter of J. Crown. The zombies are apparently slow moving zombies. Therefor, any hard hitting melee attack to the head or neck region should kill them. I'd go with anything with a blade to make the job easier.

 

UW: I want guns!

 

Kevin: Fine, but be carefull...you could shoot your eyes out with those things.

 

Sara: I don't think you've fully thought out your plan Kevin.

 

Kevin: Sure I have. Step one, kill zombies. Step two, celebrate victory. And that's that.

 

Hanami: ...I don't think I trust his strategy.

 

Angel: I do. He's so smart. And dreamy....HEY!!! Quit that, Kevin!

 

Kevin: (putting keyboard away)....Sorry. Anyway, I guess it's time we called in some experts on plan making. (hands a card to Gohan)

 

Gohan: Today, our guests come from Excel Saga. Please welcome Excel Excel and Hyatt.

 

Excel and Hyatt: Hail! Lord Ilpalazzo! (look around to see that they are not in the underground base)

 

Excel: Hey, what's this? Where is Lord Ilpalazzo?

 

Hyatt: Senior, why are all these people here?

 

Excel: Well, Hatchan, they are obviously spies. We must kill them immediately!

 

Gohan: Uh, Kevin...you want to deal with this.

 

Kevin: Sure...just let me get my bullshit face on....Ladies, my name is Kevin, and Lord Ilpalazzo has given me strict orders to ask for your assisstance in securing the safety of the world.

 

Excel: ...Excel is confused. If Lord Ilpalazzo wanted Excel and Hatchan to secure the safety of the world, then why would the goal of ACROSS, our secret ideaological society, be domination of the ignorant masses and the WORLD!!!

 

Hyatt: But senior, aren't we never to talk about ACROSS? Or our plans for world domination?

 

Excel: You mean the plan of conquering the city of F, then Japan, then the WORLD!!!

 

Hyatt: Yes.

 

Excel: ...I suppose you're right Hatchan. However, (whispers in Hyatt's ear) this will be our little secret.

 

Kevin: Well,...uh...Hey, you wouldn't want to disobey Lord Ilpalazzo, would you?

 

Excel: AH! No, Excel would never do that! If Lord Ilpalazzo asked Excel to do even the most vile of things, Excel would do them to Excel's fullest capabilities, even if it be sepuku....Did Lord Ilpalzo order Excel to commit sepuku?

 

Kevin: ...No. (Excel breathes a sigh of relief. Suddenly, Gohan's belly starts to rumble)

 

Gohan: Sorry. We haven't eaten in so long.

 

Hyatt: Senior, would this fall into a case where we should use the emergency food supply?

 

Excel: Well, Hatchan, the emergency food supply should really only be used for the preservation of us...However, Excel is starving. (Excel pulls out Menchi, her pet dog/emergency food supply) How should we prepare her? Grilled? Fried? RAW!?!?!?!

 

Sara: (in shock) You can't eat the puppy! (opens the door) Quick little one, run to safety! (Menchi runs out the door...and is eaten by zombies)

 

Excel: NOOOOOO!!! They ate my food! Oh, poor Menchi. There were so many ways I could have eaten you.... On a salad. On a sandwhich. With guacomole.

 

Hyatt: Senior, does this mean that we need to find another emergency food supply?

 

Excel: Yes, Hatchan. It does indeed.

 

Hyatt: Well, how about using these people right here? (she coughs up a little bit of blood)

 

Excel: Good thinking, Hatchan! By eating them, we'll be able to live for a long time!

 

Hyatt: (falls down dead)

 

Excel: ...Damn.

 

Will of the Macrocosm: (a black floating void with arms) Hyatt, you cannot die yet...Think of the ratings.

 

Hyatt: (is brought back to life)

 

UW: Oh no! Now she's a zombie too!

 

Hyatt: Who's a zombie?...What's a zombie?

 

Excel: Ignore him Hatchan. We must now enslave them to ensure our survival.

 

Will of the Macrocosm: Oh, I almost forgot. (brings Menchi back to life)

 

Excel: (begins to dance and jump around and ramble on about how she's gotten her dog back...much to Menchi's dismay)

 

Hyatt: Please forgive her...she is excited.

 

Gohan: Kevin, this doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere.

 

Hanami: Why don't we ask that black hole to make all those zombies alive again?

 

Will of the Macrocosm: I'm sorry, I can't do that.

 

Hanami: Why?

 

Will of the Macrocosm: ...Cause I don't want to. Goodbye. (leaves)

 

Hanami: ...That bitch!

 

Angel: How bout me and my posse go out there and destroy them all?

 

Kasy: Yeah.

 

Kita: Lemme at em!

 

Kevin: I'm sorry, but it's too dangerous. There's only one thing to do.

 

Fred: What?

 

Kevin: (gets up and walks over to a sign that says "one thing to do." He breaks the glass and pulls out a manilla folder. He quickly reads it, then hits a button on the wall. The next thing anyone knows, they are all sitting back out on the set)

 

Sara: ...What just happened?

 

Kevin: ...I don't know.

 

Excel: Hatchan, we've been teleported to a strange set.

 

Hyatt: Senior, why has this happened?

 

Excel: Obviously, this is a ploy by some other organization to also gain dominance over the world.

 

Hyatt: Senior is very wise.

 

Angel: So, I take it everyone is alive again.

 

Kasy: I'm alive.

 

Kita: Me too! (they high five)

 

Angel: You were never dead!

 

Kasy and Kita: ...Oh yeah.

 

Hanami: Well, it looks like everything's back to normal, except J. Crown's missing.

 

Kevin: Well, he did sacrifice himself so that we may live. The honorable thing to do would be to ensure that his sacrifice remains a sacrifice...and not bring him back.

 

UW: It's the way he would have wanted it.

 

Sara: But he didn't really sacrifice himself. I mean, we didn't really need him to do it anyway, since all you had to do was push a button.

 

Kevin: Oh...Then obviously, he was unhappy with his life and didn't want to live anymore.

 

UW: It's the way he would have wanted it.

 

Hanami: So what was that button anyway?

 

Hiei: I can answer that.

 

Hanami: Really?

 

Hiei: No. But it felt good to get your hopes up, and then dash them so quickly...

 

Asuka: I can tell you what the button was. It's a device I had installed for emergency purposes. Once pushed, it takes away the biggest problem the user was facing at the time, but replaces it with something that is far worse.

 

Angel: Well, what's worse than zombies.

 

Kevin: Unicorns!

 

Asuka: I'm afraid it's far worse.

 

Kevin: Nothing's far worse than unicorns. (with that, a stampede of Puchus, cute little aliens whose faces become ugly once you kill or hit them hard, roar through the set) I stand corrected.

 

Sara: They're so adorable.

 

UW: It makes me want to puke, but I can't turn away.

 

Fred: Luckily for me, I'm a god. Therefore, there evil cute charms have no effect on me....(catches a glimpse of one of them) Ah, isn't it precious...

 

Puchu Leader: Puchu, puchu puchu puchu. PUCHU!!! (Alright, now that we have them distracted, it's time to mercilessly kill them and take over their show, so that we may rule this ignorant planet. ATTACK!!!) (the Puchus go crazy and attack. Only Excel and Hyatt are immune to their charms)

 

Hyatt: What should we do, senior?

 

Excel: Well, Hatchan, if they work for Lord Ilpalazzo, then we must insure their safety and destroy those evil aliens. (they pull out many weapons) FOR LORD ILPALAZZO!!!!! (they both attack)

 

20 MINUTES LATER

 

Kevin: Well, that sure was an interesting show.

 

Gohan: I'll say. And it's good to have finally gotten some food. (begins to eat a barbecued puchu) Til next time, goodbye!

 

Basically all new characters to the show, except Kita and Kasy, were from Excel Saga. Kita and Kasy are two other fanfiction writers who have requested (mainly through promise of harm towards me) to be on the show. But as the cast has grown to an already huge size, I request that no one else ask to be on the show. I'll add you if I feel like it...and if you review!