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Lord of The Rings; Behind the Senes

Legolas in Helm's Deep.

Legolas shoots.

Legolas: What?! I missed?!

Gimili: ^^ Oh yeah, baby!

Aragorn: ...erm, just try it again....

Legolas: I MISSED! I MISSED THE ORC! I CAN'T BELIVE THIS!

Aragorn: !!!

Peter Jackson (Director): It's nothing to start weeping over!

Legolas: YEAH WHEN YOUR NOT THE PERFECT ELF!!! I HAVE TO MAKE IT PERFECT OR IT DOESN'T COUNT!!!!

Jackson: ...

~{@}~

Merry and Pippin waiting for the Grey Company.

Merry: That's a good feast!

Pippin: Yup!

Merry suddenly falls backwards as the horses ride up.

Gimili: Who was that?

Legolas and Aragorn start sniggering.

Merry: It's me! Mederoc Brandybuck.

Jackson: Argh! Get him out from behind there!

Legolas hoppes up to help Merry up.

Legolas: Merry's not there!

Merry: Muwahahahaha! I am the king of the world! Muwahahahaha!

Legolas rolls his eyes.

Legolas: You are not the king of the world!

Merry: Says you!

Jackson: ... what does that mean?

Merry: I am king! You tell me anything different I will not listen! Muwahahahaha!

~{@}~

Theodred's burrial.

Theodred's being lowered itno his grave when-

CRASH!

Eyowen: It's a cave in! Get out of there!

Men don't respond.

Entire grave colpses on them.

Eyowen: Told you so.

~{@}~

Frodo and Gollum in Shelob's lair.

Frodo running by himslef.

Frodo suddenly crashes into a wall.

Frodo: Ouch.... x_X

Jackson: Er, Frodo? You ok?

Frodo: X_X

Gollum: ^^;; We thinks hobbitsis not have brains.

Sam: I resent that remark!

Jackson: *stress marks on his forhead* You little hobbits are so annoying!

Sam: I resent that remark, too!

~{@}~

Frodo and Gollum in Shelob's lair. Take 2

Frodo's running throught Shelob's webs.

Frodo falls down a canyon.

Sam: That's not supposed to happen!

Gollum: Master is nasty hobbitsis!

Sam: .V.

Gollum: See!

Sam, Merry, and Pippin: You fowl creature!

Frodo: Help me?!

Sam, Merry, and Pippin: We're coming Frodo!

Frodo: Quickly!

Legolas and Aragorn jump down with elvish rope to help Frodo.

Frodo: Aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?

Legolas: Big whoop.

Aragorn: You more important than a stupid battle with Sauron.

Jackson: Your supposed to be in Gondor! Not in Shelob's lair!

Aragorn and Legolas: We resent that remark!

Frodo: X_x That's the second time I've heard that.

~{@}~

Shelob's lair. Take 3

Frodo running with the vile of light.

Frodo looks behind him and runs.

Frodo crashes into wall, again.

Frodo: WHAT THE F*** IS WITH THIS WALL AND MY HEAD?!?!?!?!?!?

Jackson: I sunno, you just keep running into it.

Frodo: .V. Stupid walls.

Legolas: Stupid director.

Jackson: I resent that remark!

Frodo: Quit it withe the 'I resent that remark' stuff!

Sam: But he's making it all up!

Gollum: Fat hobbitsis!

Frodo: Now there's a remark that's true!

Sam: !!!

Frodo: Humph!

Legolas: Is that all he ever dose here?

Jackson: Er, I think it's from hitting the walls.

Frodo: It is not!

Jackson: Then act normal!

~{@}~

Shelob's lair. Take 4 (lil_Jinx: I get a kick outa Frodo in these senes ^^)

Frodo running and cadapolts out of Shelob's lair....

...and crashes into the stone wall.

Frodo: Damn! Are these real?!

Berri Osborne (Props Person): Er, yes.

Frodo: Curse you to the doom!

Osborne: Sorry, but i can always make you cadapolt over the camera.

Frodo: I don't give a damn! Go ta H***, Osborne!

~{@}~

Shelob's lair. Take 5 (lil_Jinx: ^-^)

Frodo runs down path and runs into cobwebs.

Frodo fights the cobwebs by cutting them....

...and his sword breaks.

Frodo: Curse you, Osborne!

Osborne: Like I said.

Frodo: *stick tounge out* You don't give a hoot!

Legolas: This sene is taking forever. Talk about long.

Aragorn: Let's go back to Gondor's set.

~{@}~

The Great Battle before the gates of Mordor.

Aragorn slowly walks forward and looses his footing.

Aragorn: WOA!!!

Takes down Theoden, Legolas, Gimili, and a few other fighters. Eyowen among them.

Eyowen's helmet falls off, and she gets a bad scrape.

Aragorn: *kicks loose gravel* I thought this was supposed to be cemented in?!

Osborne and Jackson: It isn't?

Aragorn: No, it's not!

Eyowen: And it hurts!

Jackson: Get a medic out there! We've got a bleeding woman!

Aragorn: *rolls eyes* You better cement thei stuff in!

~{@}~

The Great Battle bfore the gates of Mordor. Take 2

Aragorn walks towards the armies....

...and once again falls down.

Aragorn: I thought I told you to cement this in?!?!?

Osborne: We didn't have time!

Aragorn: Grrr

Legolas: I belive that even an Elf makes a mistake, so let it slide.

Aragorn: I'll let this one slide, ONLY this one.

~{@}~

The Great Battle bfore the gates of Mordor. Take 3

The army of Gondor and Rohan stnad still as Aragorn charges forward.

Legolas and Gimili join the fight....

...Legolas slipps and vanishes from view of camera.

Gimili: CUT!!! Where did Legolas go?

Whole Cast and Crew: Looking about wildly for the elf.

Aragorn: Found him!

Legolas: This time you shall die, Osborne! *Draws out the two swords* Bring that face to me!

Osborne: *gulps* ^^;; Maybe we should talk this over!

Legolas: What's to talk over?!

Aragorn: What's wrong, Legolas?

Legolas: The F****** loose gravel I slipped on!

Aragorn: Ok, well, good luck, Osborne.

Legolas starts chasing Osborne all over set.

Osborne: Shut the camera off!

Legolas: Here! Allow me!

One of Legolas' swords chops camera in half.

~{@}~

Legolas enter's Frodo's healing ward, Gondor, Minas Tirith.

Aragorn watching Merry and Pippin play around with Frodo, when-

CRASH!

Legolas' voice carries over his elvish cursing.

Aragorn: Legolas?

Legolas continues cursing.

Aragorn: Legolas?

Legolas: Stupid cement.

Frodo: I think the cements wet, so he slipped.

Legolas: That F****** props crew probably don't give a D*** what we think!

Frodo: I thought Elves don't curse?

Legolas: .V. Some people hate elves.

~{@}~

Legolas entering Frodo's healing ward. Take 2

Legolas and Gimili walk in....

....And, again, Legolas crashes down.

CRASH! BANG! CLINK!

Aragorn smacks his head.

Legolas starts cursing again.

Frodo: Where did the metal grate come from?

Legolas: Ask the B**** head who put it here!
Frodo: o.o;;

Legolas: Why is it always me!
All: 0.0;;

Legolas: What?

Frodo: Your bleeding.

Legolas: WHAT?!?!?!?

Legolas touches forhead and sees blood.

Legolas: WHY YOU----!

Screen again goes static as Legolas chops it in half.

~{@}~

Frodo leaving Middle-Earth.

Frodo slipps on the board to boared the ship.

Merry, Pippin, and Sam watch as Frodo falls into the water.

Gandalf jumps in to save Frodo.

Legolas suddenly jumps in to help to.

Merry: Where'd he come from? Shouldn't he be in Moria with Gimili?

Pippin nodds.

Sam: Dose it matter?

Merry: No, it dosen't.

Legolas comes up with Gandalf over one shoulder and Frodo over the other.

Legolas: Knew it happened.

Merry: Is it over yet? Can we go home now?

Legolas Puposely dropps Frodo and Gandalf.

Legolas: I have to go do something.

Jackson: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE, ELF?!?!?!?!?

Legolas: Hey! I'm not used to the dark! My sences go haywire!

Jackson: .V. I hate Elves.

Lgolas: I hate people named Peter Jackson!

0Oo FIN oO0