Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ "Yu Yu Drama!" ❯ "Yu Yu Drama!" #1 of 2 ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: DarrkChyld 
Author’s Note: This story takes place after Yukina's Rescue and before the Ankoku Bujutsu.
WARNING –
Don’t read unless you have a sense of humour.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 03.10.2004 | Updated On: 03.10.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 402 | Status: Completed
Author’s Note: This story takes place after Yukina's Rescue and before the Ankoku Bujutsu.
WARNING –
Don’t read unless you have a sense of humour.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 03.10.2004 | Updated On: 03.10.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 402 | Status: Completed
[ACT 1....The Insanity and Vampires Don't Mix cast decides to take a joyful break from all the chaos that follows them by going to JAPAN. There they all decided to take a cultural tour of some of Japan's historical landmarks...namely the Hello Kitty Factory! The Gang is following the Tour Guide, quite eager to see if Hello Kitty was really made from real kitties.]
Japanese Tour Guide - (in thick accent) You are now in the world famous Hello Kitty factory.
Candice - Oooo. (took a picture of the Tour Guy's butt)
Gus - Spammit, Candice! How many times must I tell you? Don't sexually harass the male tour guides!
Japanese Tour Guide - (unamused) Come this way, American swine.
Mune - (petting Bob the squirrel gentlely a la Doctor Evil from "Austin Powers") Booooobbbbbbb. (she says dreamily)
Masa - I don't know her honest.
Syber - I just don't want to know her.
Nisi - Mune, you weren't suppose to bring Bob in here. (reading the sign on a nearby wall to her) No animals, unless they are going to be eaten are allowed in the building!
Mune - (hurt) But....! (Bob hissed at Nisi)
Nisi - (fell over in fear) Gahhh!
Gus - Yeah, besides I really don't trust that thing.
Bob - (climbs on Gus's shoulder) Che-che-che-haw-haw (offers Gus "airplane peanuts")
Gus -(surprised) Oh, why thank you, little squirrel. (Bob grins, then jumps away and runs off) (about to eat the "airplane peanuts") Waitaminute. (read the label) Arsenic pellets? (face grew red in anger) MUNE, THAT DECAYED SQUIRREL IS TRYING TO KILL ME!
Mune - What did you do to it?!
Gus - Look what it tried to feed me!?
Mune - No, no. Bob says you wanted to feed HIM arsenic pelets!
Gus - What!? He's lying!
Mune - Bob says he never lies and you must be a commie-loving, red-sympathizing bass-turd .
Gus - (got out a crowbar) That's it! I am killing it!
Mune - Bob says (sniff) why don't you love me?
Gus - (got out a machete) THAT THING MUST DIE!
Nisi - (holding back Gus) Gus, calm down! Calm down! Calm down!
Mune - (confused) Hm? (notices Bob jump from her shoulder and running off) Bob? (ran after him) Bob!
Masa - (reading up on Japanese myth) Hmmm...
Syber - Interesting read?
Masa - Yes. Japanese have interesting wives tales. This one in particular.
Syber - (reading from across her shoulder) The Japanese seem to believe that after you die your soul is put before Enma-Daiou, the Judge of Hell. He then decides whether your soul goes to Heaven or Hell. There is also the Makai, or Demon World, and the Reikai, or Spirit World, where Enma-Daiou resides. Interesting.
Masa - Do you know if it's true or not?
Syber - Nope. I guess we'll only know when we die.
Masa - What a cheerful thought.
Mune - Bob? Bob?Where are you?
Bob - (from the top of the shredder) Che-che...
Mune - Oh, (grin) there you are Bob! Come down from there! (Bob shakes his head) What? Are you stuck? (Bob nods) Oh, okay. I'll help you. (climbs on the shredder) Be careful not to fall in, ok? I don't want you dying on me!
Bob - (starts demonically laughing)
Mune - What's so funny? (Bob squeaks to her) Oh, you learned a new Your Mama joke? You want me to come closer so you can tell me? Ok. (like an idiot she comes closer to him, closer, closer)
Bob - Che-che-che-die!
Mune - I don't get the joke! (suddenly Bob pushes her off into the shredder) AGGGHHHHHH!
[ACT 2....Mune is dead. Enter the Spirit World.]
Mune - (her spirit) (flying around a spectrum of colors) WoAh! WOaH! WoAh! (suddenly she sees a woman, Botan, in the distance)
Botan -(grinned) Well, hello ther...(realizes the spirit coming in mach speeds is going to ram into her) AHHH! (Mune then smashes into her, knocking her unconscious)
Mune - Weeee! That was fun! (looks around and realizes she is in the Spirit World) Cool. (got out her grenade launcher, which seemed to have followed her even in death) I am in an RPG! (starts blowing up things) Woo hoo! Ten points!
(In Koenma's castle, everyone is running off screaming and trying to find shelter from the unknown explosions)
George - (hiding under a desk) What the Hell is going on? Who could be doing this? Huh? (hears a faint voice in the distance)
Mune - Woo hoo! 50 points!
George -(running to his boss, the almighty Koenma) (crying) Boss! Boss! Something is warping the spiritual plains!
Koenma -(already staring out from his castle seriously, looking at all the mass destruction) I see that, slave...err...George. Do we have any information as to who could have done this?
George - Why yes, sir. (nervously fumbled through some files) This was the last person that was sent to the spirit plains.
Koenma -(dumbfounded) (staring at Mune's Spirit World member mug shot, in the picture she is flaring her nostrils to inhuman levels) I see.
George - All signs point to her being the one causing the supernatural friction. How she is accomplishing that is unexplainable really.
Koenma - Hmmm. Bring me this "Mune."
(An Hour Later)
Mune - (tighted up and gagged, still looking relatively happy) (the general of the spirit army comes towards Koenma, all bruised and battered. Limping obviously.)
General -(cough) It took awhile sir. But we managed to get her.
Koenma - How did you accomplish such a task?
General - We told her you'd give her the new twisted puffy Cheetos. (starts bawling) I lost over 200 men, when all I had to really do was bribe her! (cries even louder) (starts bawling on Koenma)
Koenma -(unamused) (pushes the wussy general off of him) Now to business.
Mune - (starts imagining Farfarello in a Tuxedo Mask outfit, carrying a box of roses for her) Oooo.
George - (slowly backed away from her) Sir, I don't like that look in her eyes.
*Farfarello -Come with me, Mune. Come with me, so we can sharpen knives together while watching CNN.*
Mune - (drools)
George -(fearful) Ewww, boss. Why is she doing that?
Koenma - Since I really can't handle you, Mune. I would like you to use all that energy you have productively. Would you like to become a spirit detective?
*Farfarello -Would you marry me, then have ten children named Jebediah with me, Mune?*
Mune - (dreamy eyed) Yes!
Koenma - (grin)(clasped his hands together) Excellent! You will be starting today. I already have your assignment.
Mune - (still dreamy eyed) Of course I will take you in the shower, Farfarello.
Koenma - (deeply confused) (hestitated before handing her the assignment) I see.
(Koenma narrates as Mune goes on her first mission as a spirit detective on Earth. She is walking towards an old abandoned warehouse in the heart of Kyoto.)
Your first mission will consist of you confronting the demon Kujaku. He has been smuggling spirit weapons to the earth plains for many years now. Sources say Kujaku has been hiding out with a bunch of gang members at a nearby warehouse in Kyoto. Your job is to capture that fiend and bring him to justice.
Mune - (humming, as she walks along the busy streets with her grenade launcher) (everyone safe to say is pissing in their pants to avoid her in the sidewalk, she doesn't seem to notice how many people are actually intimidated by her)
Kujaku - (a 6"4, razor-toothed demon with blood red skin and pitch black eyes, is cackling as it counts his money)(his posse is around him, just enjoying the sight of all the money they made on illegal deals) (suddenly the doorbell rings) Huh? (everyone turns around to the door)
Guy #1 - Boss, since when do we have a doorbell?
Kujaku -(curiously walks over and opens the door) What the....?
Mune - (wearing a girl scout outfit, while holding thin mints on one hand and her gigantic grenade launcher in the other) Would you like to buy some cookies? (grinned)
Kujaku - (eyes turn wide in fear) (face pales, as well as everyone else in the warehouse)
Guy#2 - (utter fear) (grabs 6"4 demon by his shirt) BOSS, BUY HER F***KING COOKIES!
Just don't bring too much attention to yourself.
(Mune never learns. The warehouse you notice from a distance is blown up in neverending flames, destroying Kujaku and all his demon posse with ease.)
(Back in the Spirit World)
Koenma -(reading her progress) Excellent job, Mune. I've given you 8 assignments and you finished them all in under 3 hours. Though the results were all the same.
Mune - I made things go boom, hehe.
Koenma -(unamused) Yes, I see.
Mune - (sullen)(sigh) I miss my friends. This job would be alot more fun if they were around to help me. (then quickly turned to giddy) Well, I'll just have to find some productive way to drag them along in this with me! (got out her grenade launcher and skipped out of Koenma's office)
Koenma -(unamused) (sweatdroplit) There is a certain level of uneasiness I get when I'm around her.
George -(sweatdroplit) I feel that too, sir.
[ACT 3...Back in Japan. Masa, Syber, Gus, Candice, and Nisi are all mourning in their very own weird way Mune's death.]
Gus - (selling Mune's clothes from her suitcase)
Masa - Are you sure that's necessary?
Gus - (sold Mune's shirt) She would have wanted it this way. (sniff)
(Suddenly out of nowhere, a taxi cab goes flying from inside a store. Everyone is in too much of a shock to react)
Gus - (notices it is coming right for him) HOLY SH...GACK!! * WHAM!!!* (he bounces off the front of the car and seemingly breaks in half upon colliding with the curb of the street)
Candice - Omigosh, Gus is dead! Mom is gonna blame me, I know it!
Mune - (walks out of the taxi) (sporting shades a la "The Terminator" and her grenade launcher) (seriously) You are next. (points to them all)
Syber - (shock) MUNE!?
Nisi - I so regret mourning your homicidal *ss!
Masa - (sweatdroplit) Now, I usually don't take anything she says seriously, but since she is a zombie of sorts and just killed Gus, I say it's about time that changed. (turned from cool to panic) EVERYBODY RUN!
All - AHHHHHHH! (they all ran their separate ways, except a dumbfounded Syber)
Syber - (notices Mune walking towards him with her grenade launcher, with a inhuman look of joy on her face) (shivered) (closed his eyes) For the love of Pete, I'm already half-undead!
Mune - (laughed idiotically) Oh, yeah! (skipped away)
Syber - (phew) That worked? I should say that more often.
Candice - (noticed Mune searching from them on the streets) (whisper) In the count of three we jump her. (Nisi nodded) One. Two. THREE! (Candice and Nisi both launch towards a distracted Mune)
Candice - Ha! (manages to tackle Mune)
Mune - OFH!
Nisi - Ha! (jumps at Mune, missing her and in doing so leaping into traffic) Wha...!? (gets hit by a bus filled with Japanese school children, dressed all in Pokemon costumes) GAHHHH!
Candice - (still on top of Mune) (jaw dropped) That was unexpected.
Mune - (noticed Nisi's fate) Yes, but a great opportunity to distract you!
Candice - (realized what Mune said) What!?
Mune - (threw her onto the ground, then immediately got out her grenade launcher and blew Candice up into itty bitty annoying pieces) Hehehe, Bunny Slayer go boom.
Masa - (leaning against a wall after hours of running) (panting heavily) Phew.
Mune - (wearing a fake beard and sunglasses) (male tone) Thirsty little lady? Here, have a Coke!
Masa - (smile) Thanks! All that running did make me thirsty! (takes a big gulp)
Syber - MORON! (smacked it out of her hand)
Mune - (yanking off her crappy disguise) For my homicidal, anime sisters... (strikes a typical anime biotch pose) OHOHOHOHO!
Masa - (livid) NOW HOW THE *BEEP* DID I FALL FOR THAT!? Gack! (falls over dead from the poison in the Coke)
Syber - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MUNE?!
Mune - Don't worry. It's all for the best! Now. Your turn!
Syber - Wait! I'm half-undead, remember!
Mune - I know! I am taking care of the other half! (points towards his belt)
Syber - Huh!? (looking down noticed Mune stuck a grenade onto his belt) Shi... *BOOM*
(All their spirits are flying around a spectrum of colors)
All - WoAh! WOaH! WoAh! (suddenly they all see Botan from a distance)
Botan - (saw the unidentified flying spirits) Oh no. I am prepared for that this time! (grabs her broom and proceeds to hit all of them like they were baseballs to Koenma's castle)
All - AHHHHHHHH!
Gus - (from a distance) BIIIIIOOOOTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHH.....*
(They all find themselves in Koenma's Office)
Nisi - That was worse than 'Space Mountain'.
Masa - Omigosh, the myths are true. We're in the Spirit World.
Syber - So that would mean, were dead!?
Masa - (noticed a halo on her head) Gahhhhhh!
Nisi - This is so freaky. (nervously poked at his halo)
Candice - My halo looks funny. (not realizing she is wearing Devil horns)
Gus - I think ours got switched.
Koenma - Welcome to the Reikai. I am the great Koenma-sama! GACK!
Gus - (strangling him) WTF JUST HAPPENED!?
Koenma - (gasping for breath) I-it was her idea!
Mune - Hehehe....
Koenma - (Gus releases him) You know, you didn't have to kill them. I could have just as easily let them help you if they were alive.
Mune - Oh, really? (still chipper) I learn new things everyday!
Masa - (slaps Mune upside the head) You always mess things up!
Candice - You killed us all for nothing?
Gus - And how! It's bad enough you ran me over, but did you really have to back up the car over my corpse?!
Mune - I was being thorough!
Gus - You dragged my corpse out from underneath the car, shoved my head into the doorway, and began slamming the door on my skull repeatedly! (points at Koenma) AND YOU!
Koenma - Eeeeep!
Masa - Why the *beep* did you let her do that to us!?
Koenma - Enough. I allowed it because Mune requested your assistance in her future assignments. You all will help Mune in maintaining the balance between the Human World, the Demon World, and the Spirit World as Assistant Spirit Detectives. I have heard much of your skills and expect great things from you! Any more questions?
Candice - (raised her hand) Um, repeat all that 'cause I wasn't listening.
Koenma - (face palms)
Syber - I have one.
Koenma - Oh?
Syber - Mune, do you have a gun I could borrow? I am going to blow his miniature head off!
Masa, Nisi, and Gus - Let us join you! (all crack their knuckles)
Koenma - (hastily) Now wait a minute! If you do a good job, I can restore you to life! (the gang huddles)
Nisi - Well, guys? What do you think?
Syber - I just want to be alive again. Gus?
Gus - Fine. I can curb my wrath for the sake of the group. Especially me.
Masa - (turns to Koenma) Consider yourself spared, toddler.
Koenma - I'll have you know I am centuries older than all of you put together.
Masa - And yet you still didn't have the common sense to know better than to bring a group of heavily armed and VERY hostile individuals into your office.
Koenma - Uh, yes. Well, then. Here are your assignments. (forced a grin) Welcome to the team.
(A month later. Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" plays in the background as you see numerous newspaper clippings of the IAVDM gang's heroics as spirit detectives. One clipping shows Gus jamming a tazer into a huge demon's neck, another shows Masa slicing a hot dog in half with her sword in one hand while slicing a demon with the other. Another clip shows the IAVDM cast all in go-carts with pitchforks chasing after scared senseless demons. Next clip shows Candice giving a demon a wedgie while giving a thumbs up, the other clip shows Syber with a sweatdroplit, looking very confused as Nisi is throwing raisins at the body of an unconscious demon...)
Koenma - (smirk) Jealous?
Yuusuke - (d*mn unsatisfied) (glaring at one newspaper clipping of Mune licking the pavement and in doing so horrifying some jailed demons) Somehow, they don't impress me.
Kurama - Why would we be jealous? If they do a good job, it benefits us all.
Hiei - They're just a bunch of weak humans, like these two. (jerks his thumb at Yuusuke and Kuwabara)
Kuwabara - HEY!
Hiei - They're just a little more insane.
Mune - (kicks down the door to Koenma's office) (Everyone turns to look at the freak)
Koenma - (livid) (eyes widened) THE DOOR IS OPEN! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU! IT'S ALWAYS FRICKIN' OPEN!
Mune - No time for door opening now, sir! (pointed to the YYH gang) I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL! FOR THE HONOR OF OUR MINIATURE BOSS OVER THERE! (points to Koenma)
Yuusuke - A duel? Just for that? (points to Koenma)
Koenma - Hey!
Mune - WE WILL PROVE TO YOU WHO THE SUPERIOR SPIRIT DETECTIVES ARE!
Syber - (the others walk in) Quit yelling. I've got a freakin' headache.
Mune - Oh, sorry.
Kurama - Why would we want to fight you?
Yuusuke - Hell yes, we accept! I never back down from a challenge!
Kuwabara - Neither do I!
Hiei - This is just pointle...(notices Mune staring at him with hearts in her eyes) Uhhh...
Mune - VERY WELL! IT'S AGREED! IF WE WIN, YOU THREE MUST QUIT AND HIEI WILL BE MY LOVE SLAVE!
Hiei - (eyes bug out) WHAT!?
Yuusuke - I so did not need to know that.
Mune - So, are you guys with me?
Syber - Well, to be honest...
Gus - Not really.
Candice - I have an appointment with my hairstylist...
Masa - I just plain don't give a crap.
Nisi - Why would we want to fight people on our side?
Koenma - Excellent! Then it's agreed!
Gus - She must be rubbing off on him.
Koenma - (stood on top of his desk) YOU ALL WILL FIGHT...TO THE DEATH!
Gus - Were already dead, uber-git.
Koenma - I see. (clasps his hands) Excellent!
(Everyone, except Mune, face palms)
2 Be Continued.
- Feel free to e-mail me with comments at darrk_chyld@yahoo.com
- "Yu Yu Hakusho" © of Toshihiro Togashi
- "Insanity and Vampires Don't Mix" © of WITEWOLF (if you want to read her hilariously strange series just go to FanFiction.net)
Japanese Tour Guide - (in thick accent) You are now in the world famous Hello Kitty factory.
Candice - Oooo. (took a picture of the Tour Guy's butt)
Gus - Spammit, Candice! How many times must I tell you? Don't sexually harass the male tour guides!
Japanese Tour Guide - (unamused) Come this way, American swine.
Mune - (petting Bob the squirrel gentlely a la Doctor Evil from "Austin Powers") Booooobbbbbbb. (she says dreamily)
Masa - I don't know her honest.
Syber - I just don't want to know her.
Nisi - Mune, you weren't suppose to bring Bob in here. (reading the sign on a nearby wall to her) No animals, unless they are going to be eaten are allowed in the building!
Mune - (hurt) But....! (Bob hissed at Nisi)
Nisi - (fell over in fear) Gahhh!
Gus - Yeah, besides I really don't trust that thing.
Bob - (climbs on Gus's shoulder) Che-che-che-haw-haw (offers Gus "airplane peanuts")
Gus -(surprised) Oh, why thank you, little squirrel. (Bob grins, then jumps away and runs off) (about to eat the "airplane peanuts") Waitaminute. (read the label) Arsenic pellets? (face grew red in anger) MUNE, THAT DECAYED SQUIRREL IS TRYING TO KILL ME!
Mune - What did you do to it?!
Gus - Look what it tried to feed me!?
Mune - No, no. Bob says you wanted to feed HIM arsenic pelets!
Gus - What!? He's lying!
Mune - Bob says he never lies and you must be a commie-loving, red-sympathizing bass-turd .
Gus - (got out a crowbar) That's it! I am killing it!
Mune - Bob says (sniff) why don't you love me?
Gus - (got out a machete) THAT THING MUST DIE!
Nisi - (holding back Gus) Gus, calm down! Calm down! Calm down!
Mune - (confused) Hm? (notices Bob jump from her shoulder and running off) Bob? (ran after him) Bob!
Masa - (reading up on Japanese myth) Hmmm...
Syber - Interesting read?
Masa - Yes. Japanese have interesting wives tales. This one in particular.
Syber - (reading from across her shoulder) The Japanese seem to believe that after you die your soul is put before Enma-Daiou, the Judge of Hell. He then decides whether your soul goes to Heaven or Hell. There is also the Makai, or Demon World, and the Reikai, or Spirit World, where Enma-Daiou resides. Interesting.
Masa - Do you know if it's true or not?
Syber - Nope. I guess we'll only know when we die.
Masa - What a cheerful thought.
Mune - Bob? Bob?Where are you?
Bob - (from the top of the shredder) Che-che...
Mune - Oh, (grin) there you are Bob! Come down from there! (Bob shakes his head) What? Are you stuck? (Bob nods) Oh, okay. I'll help you. (climbs on the shredder) Be careful not to fall in, ok? I don't want you dying on me!
Bob - (starts demonically laughing)
Mune - What's so funny? (Bob squeaks to her) Oh, you learned a new Your Mama joke? You want me to come closer so you can tell me? Ok. (like an idiot she comes closer to him, closer, closer)
Bob - Che-che-che-die!
Mune - I don't get the joke! (suddenly Bob pushes her off into the shredder) AGGGHHHHHH!
[ACT 2....Mune is dead. Enter the Spirit World.]
Mune - (her spirit) (flying around a spectrum of colors) WoAh! WOaH! WoAh! (suddenly she sees a woman, Botan, in the distance)
Botan -(grinned) Well, hello ther...(realizes the spirit coming in mach speeds is going to ram into her) AHHH! (Mune then smashes into her, knocking her unconscious)
Mune - Weeee! That was fun! (looks around and realizes she is in the Spirit World) Cool. (got out her grenade launcher, which seemed to have followed her even in death) I am in an RPG! (starts blowing up things) Woo hoo! Ten points!
(In Koenma's castle, everyone is running off screaming and trying to find shelter from the unknown explosions)
George - (hiding under a desk) What the Hell is going on? Who could be doing this? Huh? (hears a faint voice in the distance)
Mune - Woo hoo! 50 points!
George -(running to his boss, the almighty Koenma) (crying) Boss! Boss! Something is warping the spiritual plains!
Koenma -(already staring out from his castle seriously, looking at all the mass destruction) I see that, slave...err...George. Do we have any information as to who could have done this?
George - Why yes, sir. (nervously fumbled through some files) This was the last person that was sent to the spirit plains.
Koenma -(dumbfounded) (staring at Mune's Spirit World member mug shot, in the picture she is flaring her nostrils to inhuman levels) I see.
George - All signs point to her being the one causing the supernatural friction. How she is accomplishing that is unexplainable really.
Koenma - Hmmm. Bring me this "Mune."
(An Hour Later)
Mune - (tighted up and gagged, still looking relatively happy) (the general of the spirit army comes towards Koenma, all bruised and battered. Limping obviously.)
General -(cough) It took awhile sir. But we managed to get her.
Koenma - How did you accomplish such a task?
General - We told her you'd give her the new twisted puffy Cheetos. (starts bawling) I lost over 200 men, when all I had to really do was bribe her! (cries even louder) (starts bawling on Koenma)
Koenma -(unamused) (pushes the wussy general off of him) Now to business.
Mune - (starts imagining Farfarello in a Tuxedo Mask outfit, carrying a box of roses for her) Oooo.
George - (slowly backed away from her) Sir, I don't like that look in her eyes.
*Farfarello -Come with me, Mune. Come with me, so we can sharpen knives together while watching CNN.*
Mune - (drools)
George -(fearful) Ewww, boss. Why is she doing that?
Koenma - Since I really can't handle you, Mune. I would like you to use all that energy you have productively. Would you like to become a spirit detective?
*Farfarello -Would you marry me, then have ten children named Jebediah with me, Mune?*
Mune - (dreamy eyed) Yes!
Koenma - (grin)(clasped his hands together) Excellent! You will be starting today. I already have your assignment.
Mune - (still dreamy eyed) Of course I will take you in the shower, Farfarello.
Koenma - (deeply confused) (hestitated before handing her the assignment) I see.
(Koenma narrates as Mune goes on her first mission as a spirit detective on Earth. She is walking towards an old abandoned warehouse in the heart of Kyoto.)
Your first mission will consist of you confronting the demon Kujaku. He has been smuggling spirit weapons to the earth plains for many years now. Sources say Kujaku has been hiding out with a bunch of gang members at a nearby warehouse in Kyoto. Your job is to capture that fiend and bring him to justice.
Mune - (humming, as she walks along the busy streets with her grenade launcher) (everyone safe to say is pissing in their pants to avoid her in the sidewalk, she doesn't seem to notice how many people are actually intimidated by her)
Kujaku - (a 6"4, razor-toothed demon with blood red skin and pitch black eyes, is cackling as it counts his money)(his posse is around him, just enjoying the sight of all the money they made on illegal deals) (suddenly the doorbell rings) Huh? (everyone turns around to the door)
Guy #1 - Boss, since when do we have a doorbell?
Kujaku -(curiously walks over and opens the door) What the....?
Mune - (wearing a girl scout outfit, while holding thin mints on one hand and her gigantic grenade launcher in the other) Would you like to buy some cookies? (grinned)
Kujaku - (eyes turn wide in fear) (face pales, as well as everyone else in the warehouse)
Guy#2 - (utter fear) (grabs 6"4 demon by his shirt) BOSS, BUY HER F***KING COOKIES!
Just don't bring too much attention to yourself.
(Mune never learns. The warehouse you notice from a distance is blown up in neverending flames, destroying Kujaku and all his demon posse with ease.)
(Back in the Spirit World)
Koenma -(reading her progress) Excellent job, Mune. I've given you 8 assignments and you finished them all in under 3 hours. Though the results were all the same.
Mune - I made things go boom, hehe.
Koenma -(unamused) Yes, I see.
Mune - (sullen)(sigh) I miss my friends. This job would be alot more fun if they were around to help me. (then quickly turned to giddy) Well, I'll just have to find some productive way to drag them along in this with me! (got out her grenade launcher and skipped out of Koenma's office)
Koenma -(unamused) (sweatdroplit) There is a certain level of uneasiness I get when I'm around her.
George -(sweatdroplit) I feel that too, sir.
[ACT 3...Back in Japan. Masa, Syber, Gus, Candice, and Nisi are all mourning in their very own weird way Mune's death.]
Gus - (selling Mune's clothes from her suitcase)
Masa - Are you sure that's necessary?
Gus - (sold Mune's shirt) She would have wanted it this way. (sniff)
(Suddenly out of nowhere, a taxi cab goes flying from inside a store. Everyone is in too much of a shock to react)
Gus - (notices it is coming right for him) HOLY SH...GACK!! * WHAM!!!* (he bounces off the front of the car and seemingly breaks in half upon colliding with the curb of the street)
Candice - Omigosh, Gus is dead! Mom is gonna blame me, I know it!
Mune - (walks out of the taxi) (sporting shades a la "The Terminator" and her grenade launcher) (seriously) You are next. (points to them all)
Syber - (shock) MUNE!?
Nisi - I so regret mourning your homicidal *ss!
Masa - (sweatdroplit) Now, I usually don't take anything she says seriously, but since she is a zombie of sorts and just killed Gus, I say it's about time that changed. (turned from cool to panic) EVERYBODY RUN!
All - AHHHHHHH! (they all ran their separate ways, except a dumbfounded Syber)
Syber - (notices Mune walking towards him with her grenade launcher, with a inhuman look of joy on her face) (shivered) (closed his eyes) For the love of Pete, I'm already half-undead!
Mune - (laughed idiotically) Oh, yeah! (skipped away)
Syber - (phew) That worked? I should say that more often.
Candice - (noticed Mune searching from them on the streets) (whisper) In the count of three we jump her. (Nisi nodded) One. Two. THREE! (Candice and Nisi both launch towards a distracted Mune)
Candice - Ha! (manages to tackle Mune)
Mune - OFH!
Nisi - Ha! (jumps at Mune, missing her and in doing so leaping into traffic) Wha...!? (gets hit by a bus filled with Japanese school children, dressed all in Pokemon costumes) GAHHHH!
Candice - (still on top of Mune) (jaw dropped) That was unexpected.
Mune - (noticed Nisi's fate) Yes, but a great opportunity to distract you!
Candice - (realized what Mune said) What!?
Mune - (threw her onto the ground, then immediately got out her grenade launcher and blew Candice up into itty bitty annoying pieces) Hehehe, Bunny Slayer go boom.
Masa - (leaning against a wall after hours of running) (panting heavily) Phew.
Mune - (wearing a fake beard and sunglasses) (male tone) Thirsty little lady? Here, have a Coke!
Masa - (smile) Thanks! All that running did make me thirsty! (takes a big gulp)
Syber - MORON! (smacked it out of her hand)
Mune - (yanking off her crappy disguise) For my homicidal, anime sisters... (strikes a typical anime biotch pose) OHOHOHOHO!
Masa - (livid) NOW HOW THE *BEEP* DID I FALL FOR THAT!? Gack! (falls over dead from the poison in the Coke)
Syber - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MUNE?!
Mune - Don't worry. It's all for the best! Now. Your turn!
Syber - Wait! I'm half-undead, remember!
Mune - I know! I am taking care of the other half! (points towards his belt)
Syber - Huh!? (looking down noticed Mune stuck a grenade onto his belt) Shi... *BOOM*
(All their spirits are flying around a spectrum of colors)
All - WoAh! WOaH! WoAh! (suddenly they all see Botan from a distance)
Botan - (saw the unidentified flying spirits) Oh no. I am prepared for that this time! (grabs her broom and proceeds to hit all of them like they were baseballs to Koenma's castle)
All - AHHHHHHHH!
Gus - (from a distance) BIIIIIOOOOTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHH.....*
(They all find themselves in Koenma's Office)
Nisi - That was worse than 'Space Mountain'.
Masa - Omigosh, the myths are true. We're in the Spirit World.
Syber - So that would mean, were dead!?
Masa - (noticed a halo on her head) Gahhhhhh!
Nisi - This is so freaky. (nervously poked at his halo)
Candice - My halo looks funny. (not realizing she is wearing Devil horns)
Gus - I think ours got switched.
Koenma - Welcome to the Reikai. I am the great Koenma-sama! GACK!
Gus - (strangling him) WTF JUST HAPPENED!?
Koenma - (gasping for breath) I-it was her idea!
Mune - Hehehe....
Koenma - (Gus releases him) You know, you didn't have to kill them. I could have just as easily let them help you if they were alive.
Mune - Oh, really? (still chipper) I learn new things everyday!
Masa - (slaps Mune upside the head) You always mess things up!
Candice - You killed us all for nothing?
Gus - And how! It's bad enough you ran me over, but did you really have to back up the car over my corpse?!
Mune - I was being thorough!
Gus - You dragged my corpse out from underneath the car, shoved my head into the doorway, and began slamming the door on my skull repeatedly! (points at Koenma) AND YOU!
Koenma - Eeeeep!
Masa - Why the *beep* did you let her do that to us!?
Koenma - Enough. I allowed it because Mune requested your assistance in her future assignments. You all will help Mune in maintaining the balance between the Human World, the Demon World, and the Spirit World as Assistant Spirit Detectives. I have heard much of your skills and expect great things from you! Any more questions?
Candice - (raised her hand) Um, repeat all that 'cause I wasn't listening.
Koenma - (face palms)
Syber - I have one.
Koenma - Oh?
Syber - Mune, do you have a gun I could borrow? I am going to blow his miniature head off!
Masa, Nisi, and Gus - Let us join you! (all crack their knuckles)
Koenma - (hastily) Now wait a minute! If you do a good job, I can restore you to life! (the gang huddles)
Nisi - Well, guys? What do you think?
Syber - I just want to be alive again. Gus?
Gus - Fine. I can curb my wrath for the sake of the group. Especially me.
Masa - (turns to Koenma) Consider yourself spared, toddler.
Koenma - I'll have you know I am centuries older than all of you put together.
Masa - And yet you still didn't have the common sense to know better than to bring a group of heavily armed and VERY hostile individuals into your office.
Koenma - Uh, yes. Well, then. Here are your assignments. (forced a grin) Welcome to the team.
(A month later. Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" plays in the background as you see numerous newspaper clippings of the IAVDM gang's heroics as spirit detectives. One clipping shows Gus jamming a tazer into a huge demon's neck, another shows Masa slicing a hot dog in half with her sword in one hand while slicing a demon with the other. Another clip shows the IAVDM cast all in go-carts with pitchforks chasing after scared senseless demons. Next clip shows Candice giving a demon a wedgie while giving a thumbs up, the other clip shows Syber with a sweatdroplit, looking very confused as Nisi is throwing raisins at the body of an unconscious demon...)
Koenma - (smirk) Jealous?
Yuusuke - (d*mn unsatisfied) (glaring at one newspaper clipping of Mune licking the pavement and in doing so horrifying some jailed demons) Somehow, they don't impress me.
Kurama - Why would we be jealous? If they do a good job, it benefits us all.
Hiei - They're just a bunch of weak humans, like these two. (jerks his thumb at Yuusuke and Kuwabara)
Kuwabara - HEY!
Hiei - They're just a little more insane.
Mune - (kicks down the door to Koenma's office) (Everyone turns to look at the freak)
Koenma - (livid) (eyes widened) THE DOOR IS OPEN! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU! IT'S ALWAYS FRICKIN' OPEN!
Mune - No time for door opening now, sir! (pointed to the YYH gang) I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL! FOR THE HONOR OF OUR MINIATURE BOSS OVER THERE! (points to Koenma)
Yuusuke - A duel? Just for that? (points to Koenma)
Koenma - Hey!
Mune - WE WILL PROVE TO YOU WHO THE SUPERIOR SPIRIT DETECTIVES ARE!
Syber - (the others walk in) Quit yelling. I've got a freakin' headache.
Mune - Oh, sorry.
Kurama - Why would we want to fight you?
Yuusuke - Hell yes, we accept! I never back down from a challenge!
Kuwabara - Neither do I!
Hiei - This is just pointle...(notices Mune staring at him with hearts in her eyes) Uhhh...
Mune - VERY WELL! IT'S AGREED! IF WE WIN, YOU THREE MUST QUIT AND HIEI WILL BE MY LOVE SLAVE!
Hiei - (eyes bug out) WHAT!?
Yuusuke - I so did not need to know that.
Mune - So, are you guys with me?
Syber - Well, to be honest...
Gus - Not really.
Candice - I have an appointment with my hairstylist...
Masa - I just plain don't give a crap.
Nisi - Why would we want to fight people on our side?
Koenma - Excellent! Then it's agreed!
Gus - She must be rubbing off on him.
Koenma - (stood on top of his desk) YOU ALL WILL FIGHT...TO THE DEATH!
Gus - Were already dead, uber-git.
Koenma - I see. (clasps his hands) Excellent!
(Everyone, except Mune, face palms)
2 Be Continued.
- Feel free to e-mail me with comments at darrk_chyld@yahoo.com
- "Yu Yu Hakusho" © of Toshihiro Togashi
- "Insanity and Vampires Don't Mix" © of WITEWOLF (if you want to read her hilariously strange series just go to FanFiction.net)