Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Fluff and Circumstance ❯ I Survived You ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters of Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of the songs in this fic, because I am completely destitute and all I have is fifty cents I found in the washing machine.

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I Survived You

I see the picture clear now,

The fog has lifted.

The wool you tried to pull over my eyes was clever.

Yeah, you're gifted.

But you forgot to dot some Is and cross some Ts along the way.

I'm better now despite you, baby.

I'm stronger these days.

Stronger...

“Suichi?”

Kurama jerked out of his daze and looked across the room at his mother, in her hospital bed. “Mother! You're awake!” he said, knocking over his chair as he leaped across the room to hug his mother. “How do you feel? Do you hurt anywhere? Are you hungry?”

Shiori smiled weakly. “I feel fine. Numb. It doesn't hurt...”

“You're numb from the painkillers, Mother.”

“How long?”

“Five days since you last woke up. The doctors were getting worried, and I was scared to death!”

“I meant, how long since the accident? I don't remember waking up. I don't remember anything since the car flipped over...”

Kurama swallowed. That meant...

“Suichi...don't look so uncomfortable. I know. I know he's gone.”

Kurama had a hard time speaking around the lump in his throat. “Y-you do?”

“Yes. I felt it...his absence...the moment I woke up. But I won't think about it, Suichi, and neither will you. Because if I thought about it, I'd want to die, and I just can't do that.” She smiled again, though her eyes were bright. “I still have to take care of you...” As if remembering something, she glanced at the clock, without even trying to lift her head. “Suichi, what day is it?”

“Monday, Mother. Do—” His eyes widened. “Oh! School! I forgot to call!” And he pounced on Shiori's phone and dialed. He explained to the person who answered that he wouldn't be coming to school today, because he was going to be at the hospital watching over his mother, so could she please have his teachers send his homework to his house with someone, while Shiori looked on with a smile.

And outside, on the windowsill, just out of sight, a small figure watched him with a look of raw longing on his face.

I survived the crash.

Survived the burn.

Survived the worst, yeah, baby,

But I learned.

Survived the lies.

Survived the blues.

Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.

And when you wrote me off like I was doomed,

I survived you.

“Tell me what's wrong, Suichi,” Shiori said softly.

“What?”

“Tell me what's wrong,” Shiori repeated.

“What do you mean?”

“Suichi,” Shiori said patiently, “I know you. You've been talking to me all afternoon, but your mind is a million miles away. `Fess up, son. I need something juicy to take my mind off my boredom...and everything...”

It was a week after Shiori had woken up and stayed awake. Kurama hadn't been to school except to collect his work. He spent most of his time at the hospital. Luckily, his teachers understood, and cooperated well, just handing him a thick folder of homework every time he rushed into the principal's office, making an inquiry or two about his mother, and then letting him go with many well-wishes for Shiori.

Shiori already looked better. Her cheeks finally had some color, and she looked livelier. The doctors all said that there was no reason for her not to be okay in the long run.

But the accident had also left its mark. Shiori's right leg was permanently damaged, crushed by the weight of the car. Right now, it was encased in a cast, but the doctors had told them that it would soon be replaced with a brace that Shiori would wear for the rest of her life, unless a miracle took place. She would be able to walk eventually, but she would always limp, and for the first year or so, she'd be in a wheelchair, and then on crutches. And though Kurama would die rather than show it, the thought of his mother never walking properly again made him blanch inside. She hadn't done anything to deserve it!

Shiori, however, had taken the news the same way she had taken the news of her dead husband: calmly, refusing to dwell on what could not be changed, and to concentrate instead on getting out of the hospital and moving on with her life, working with what she had: a wonderful son who would be sure to help her, a good job with a decent paycheck, and good friends. That, she assured her son, was enough for her.

And that made Kurama absolutely certain that his mother was the bravest person he had ever met, in the Ningenkai, Makai, or Reikai.

“Well, Suichi?”

Kurama sighed heavily and gave in, simply tired of hiding it. “I should've known it would come to this. You can read me too well.”

“And don't you forget it. Now, spill.”

“All right, all right! Here goes nothing...you remember when I was telling you about my friends Yusuke and Kuwabara, and I mentioned a little guy named Hiei?”

“Only in passing, if I remember correctly. You didn't seem anxious to talk about him.”

“I wasn't. You see, Hiei and I have a...complicated relationship. We...he's...he's more...he means more to me than he should, I guess you could say...this is harder than I'd expected...”

“Suichi, are you telling me...”

“…Yes.” Kurama looked away, focusing on an immensely fascinating spot on the plain, blank white wall.

“I knew it!” Shiori grinned and clapped her hands in delight. “I love being proven right!”

“Um...Mother?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we talking about the same thing here?”

“Well, I assume that we're talking about the fact that you aren't exactly attracted to the kind of people you're supposed to be?”

“Yes…but...” Kurama cut himself off when Shiori clapped again, giggling at his expression.

“Don't worry, Suichi, I have not gone mad. I just love being right!”

“You knew?”

“I had a feeling, yes. I know you too well, remember? Anyway, go on. We still haven't gotten around to what's really bothering you.”

I can look in the mirror now.

It's been a slow awakening.

Haunted by a heart full of you,

I couldn't help mistaking

That you could ever care for anyone,

Anyone but yourself.

But you would have to have a conscience, baby.

Good luck, I wish you well.

And so Kurama explained. He began by telling his mother all about Hiei and how perfect he'd seemed (without revealing his past, of course.) He told her how he and Hiei had gotten together, how Hiei had comforted him when he explained about Shiori, how Kurama had thought that something was finally going right, and how that idea had been shattered before long, and why.

“But you still love him. You told me so,” Shiori said simply as he finished.

“When?”

“Before you started your story. You told me Hiei is more important to you than he should be. You used present-tense.” She smiled. “You really need to get the little signals under control, Suichi. And don't even bother protesting. You gave yourself away, and you know I'm right.”

Kurama sat back and sighed. “Okay, you win. Again. But what do I do about it?”

“Why can't you tell him?”

“Mother, weren't you listening? He's ashamed of me!”

“No, he isn't.”

“How do you know that?”

“I listened to your story. He isn't ashamed, Suichi. He's scared.”

“…What?”

“Well, according to you, this Hiei has had quite a bad life. Abandoned by his parents, separated from his sister, having so few friends and no permanent place to live...it's terrible! Finally getting what he wants more than anything must seem too good to be true to him! He's scared of losing you, Suichi. Have you ever thought that, maybe, he just wants to treasure it in silence? Keep it close to his heart so that the love between you two isn't endangered?”

Kurama, stunned, took a moment to process this. For almost two weeks, he had been so angry at Hiei and at the world that he'd never thought about things from this angle. His thoughts about Hiei had been as black as the Jaganshi's hair. “But...why didn't he just tell me?”

“Did you ever give him the chance?”

“Of course...!” Kurama began. But then he remembered. He hadn't let Hiei say anything at all. “...not,” he finished. “Okay, you've got me, I've been a total jerk. So what do I do?”

“You find him! You apologize before you run out of time! I thought I'd raised an intelligent son!”

Her genuine exasperation had the effect of finally clearing things up, and Kurama jumped up as she finished. “Mother, I know I'd planned to spend the day with you, but...”

“Get out of here, Suichi,” Shiori said, grinning. “I'll just eat some more crappy hospital food while I wait for you to come back. And you will come back and give me all the juicy details or I will never forgive you, Suichi Minamino.”

I survived the crash.

Survived the burn.

Survived the worst, yeah, baby,

But I learned.

Survived the lies.

Survived the blues.

Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.

And when you wrote me off like I was doomed,

I survived you.

Hiei saw the kitsune glance out the window before he left the room, and immediately leapt to the ground. He did not want Kurama to find him. No doubt he'd just get yelled at some more...

Hiei had had a lot of time to think lately, since he couldn't go to Kurama's house for something interesting to do. And he had come to the conclusion that he and Kurama's relationship probably couldn't be salvaged. He had simply made too big a mess of things. It would be better for everyone if he just got over it.

But every time he saw Kurama—which, if you think about it, was inevitable, what with work and all—he knew he would never be able to do that. Every time he saw the kitsune, he felt the sparks, and he felt like crying because it was no longer possible to do anything about those sparks. Kurama made that perfectly clear whenever Hiei came close enough to talk to him.

But maybe there was a way...if only he could think of it...

This heart has been torn in two,

Cut and bruised

With too many bitter endings.

I'll be damned if I have thoughts of you

Rain on my new beginning.

“Hiei-oniisan! Hello!”

“Hi, Yukina,” Hiei said awkwardly as he walked into Genkai's dojo—Yukina's now, since Genkai had died a few years back.

“What are you doing here? You never come to the dojo!” Yukina said. “Come on, sit.”

“No, it's all right. I...I can't stay long...I came to ask a favor of you, actually.”

“You know I'll try to do whatever you ask, Hiei-oniisan. What do you need?”

“Well...you know what a karaoke bar is, right?”

“Of course! I've never been to one, though.”

“And you know where the nearest one is?”

“Yes...”

“Good. Then could you call up Yusuke, Kuwabara, Shizuru, Keiko, Kurama, and that blue-haired ditz and tell them to meet you there at six o'clock tomorrow night? Without mentioning the fact that I'll be there, if you can?”

“Um...yes...but...why?”

“Don't ask, please. You'll find out tomorrow. Please?”

“Yes. I'll do it.”

“Thank you!” And he hugged her, which shocked them both, and high-tailed it out of there. Yukina watched him go with a little smile on her face.

I survived the crash.

Survived the burn.

Survived the worst, yeah, baby,

But I learned.

Survived the lies.

Survived the blues.

Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.

And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.

“Yusuke?”

“Yukina?”

“Yes.”

“Um...hi...is something wrong?”

“No, why?”

“Then why'd you call? I thought phones were against your family's moral code or something.”

“I think they are against Hiei-oniisan's code. He doesn't like human objects. Anyway, I was actually just thinking that since we all met, we haven't actually relaxed.”

“Okay...”

“Well, isn't it true?”

“I guess so...”

“Well, what do you think of a night of actual fun, then?”

“Are you talking alcoholic fun?” Yusuke asked, sounding suddenly eager.

“No! Yusuke, don't be an idiot!”

Yusuke laughed. “Oh, yeah, Hiei is definitely your brother...”

“Yes, he is. Anyway, are you in?”

“Uh...sure. Why not? Who's going?”

“Everyone, hopefully. Except Hiei-oniisan, I think.”

“And where are we going?”

“Karaoke bar. The one near your house.”

“Uh...right...but…what's this sudden interest in fun?”

“The result of a lifetime of boredom until I met you guys. Now, spread the word!”

“To everyone?”

“Yes.”

“Even Botan? And Koenma? And Shizuru? And...”

“Everyone!” And as she hung up, she thought aloud, “I wonder what Hiei-oniisan is planning? And...why?”

I survived the crash.

Survived the burn.

Survived the worst, yeah, baby,

But I learned.

Survived the lies.

Survived the blues.

Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.

And when you wrote me off like I was doomed,

I survived you.

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Kurama: Now that Yukina mentions it, what are you planning, Hiei?

Hiei: None of your business.

Kurama: chibi look

Hiei: No, I won't give in this time. I won't look at you! turns away

Kurama: Please, Hiei? whiny voice

Hiei: Don't do that! You know I can't stand saying no to you when you do that!

Kurama: Pleeeeeeeease?

Hiei: No! No no no no no no and NO!

Kurama: stands in front of him and gives another adorable chibi look

Hiei: Noooooooooooooo! runs away screaming

Kurama: Wait, Hiei! Please? I promise I won't tell! chases Hiei

Kitsune: Um...okay...that was…odd...anyway, they'll be back eventually. Until then, R&R, people! Please??? puts on chibi look like Kurama's

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Reviewer's Comments:

siverrain: Thank you so much for the compliments! I feel so loved...

What2callmyself: Here next chapter! And that's the point of after-chapter stupidity! Things that don't usually happen do! LOL.

kitty-yasha: Thanks for your review! I tried to get the chapter out sooner, but I haven't had much time to type lately. And please, make good on your word and review for more chapters.

IceDragonKatana: LOL on the hair-brush-brother-named-Fred thing, and thankies for the review! And no problem about the review thing. My computer sucks, so I know how you feel. I am hardly ever able to review stories, because the stupid computer won't let me!

flyingshadow370: I will so not have Mukuro in this story! I hate her! She really, really bugs me...oh, and sorry for not updating soon! I tried! I really did! But so...much...homework... suffocates