Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Hail to the Butt Doctor ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )

APC: Do I have to write another disclaimer if I wrote one for the other chapter??

*

The day after Koenma told them of the new case…

"Ok, so where the hell's Bolagnaville?" asked Sprite impatiently. "I'm sick of being lost!"

Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei and she had been walking for hours, and still couldn't figure out which way to Bolagnaville. They had somehow wandered into a patch of woods.

"We aren't lost," said Yusuke. "We just don't know where we are."

"Wow Yusuke, you're dumber than me!" yelled an annoying voice that the three boys knew all too well.

***Yes, people, it's Kuwabara. I'm dreadfully sorry to subject you to this kind of torture, but don't worry. I'll make it all better! ***

Sprite took one look at the ugly baka and began a long string of derogatory remarks.

"Geez that's a face not even a mother could love! I hope your momma died in childbirth- she'd a died of shame if she saw you! Did you take a nosedive out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?! Does it hurt to be THAT ugly??

"Yes, yes!" beamed Hiei with that bad-ass smirk of his. "Please continue!" ::thinks- I like this girl.::

Kuwabara: HEY! Shut up you sexy, twinkie girl! ::referring to her yellow miniskirt and tight, yellow shirt::

Sprite: TWINKIE GIRL????!!!

Kuwabara: Yeah!! And I said SHUT UP!

Sprite: I don't shut up, I grow up! And when I see you I throw up! And you lick it up! Come over here and MAKE ME shut-up, chicken-shit! ::steps into a sparring stance:: You ain't got the balls to take me on!!

Hiei and Yusuke: O_O WOAH! YOU GO GIRL!

Kuwabara lunged at the girl. She stepped aside and planted her foot into his ugly face. Hiei and Yusuke sent up a cheer. Kuwabara went at her again. This time, she flicked her fingers lightning fast. The idiot stopped. He looked slowly down. A pin stuck from his crotch.

"What the-?" he began. Then he felt a funny feeling. He looked in his pants and began shrieking. "AAAGGGHHHH IT'S SHRINKING!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME????"

"You are now sterile," said Sprite with a smirk. "See ya!"

"But I'm not-," Suddenly a hole opened up in the ground and the ugly stupid retard fell into oblivion.

Yusuke and Hiei: O_O Did he just fall into hell?

Sprite: No. It's a place where guys go when they lose their-

Kurama: Ok ok. We can guess. That was…AWSOME!

Hiei: It's not like he had much to lose anyway..

Yusuke: And how would YOU know? *hiei glares*

Suddenly a huge shape appeared in the trees.

"You have done well, young twinkie-ess."

All: ?

A giant twinkie with a crown on the top end and with that strange glowing aura that surrounds twinkies floated from the woods followed by his other twinkie subjects.

Kurama Sprite Yusuke: All hail King Twinkie!

Hiei: What's a twinkie? What a gay sounding word.

King Twinkie: HOW DARE YOU THINK THE WORD TWINKIE IS GAY!!! YOU HAVE ANGERED THE ALMIGHTY TWINKIE KING!!!

Sprite: Sir, please excuse his ignorance. He is but a simple fellow, and knows not to whom he speaks! *at this Hiei growled but Sprite telepathically told him to play along*

King Twinkie: His ignorance will be forgiven. Anyway, I saw how you fought back there, twinkie-ess. I wish you would consider taking the position of captain in the army.

Sprite: But I'm not a twinkie and-

King Twinkie: YOU DARE REFUSE ME??? ATTACK, MY LOYAL TWINKIE SOLDIERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

With that, the twinkies attacked. They squeezed their cream filling at the group. But little did they know, their cream filling had a not so desirable effect on their enemies…

With every squirt, everyone (except hiei) would open their mouths and catch the delicious filling. Hiei soon caught on. After about five minutes, the sugary goo began to affect them. They went ABSOLUTLY insane!

They ran around screaming "SUGAR SUGAR!!!" and began eating the fluffy twinkies alive. Soon there was nothing left, but crumbs on the ground.

When the supply of twinkies had been demolished, the three boys turned on Sprite. "Twii-i-i-i-nk-I-e-e-e-e…..TWI-I-I-I-I-KI-I-I-E-E-E!!!!!!"

Yusuke leaped at her. "Need TWINKIE!!!"

WHCK WHACK! Yusuke was down. Hiei attacked.

Hiei: SUGARY TASTY TWINKIE!!!!! :leaps wildly at sprite:

Sprite: AGH! ::leaps away-Hiei lands on ground nearly unconscious::

Hiei: *dazed * Hey? Where's the cream filling?::passes out::

Kurama: * still has wits enough to be a smooth talker* Hey, I bet you taste delicious…

Sprite: ::sweatdrop:: Um, heh heh heh! ::light bulb over head:: * ding!* Hmm…::sings:: Yeah, yeah…I'm cherry cola. Yeah yeah…I'm candy-eyed …Yeah, yeah, I'm California…

She walked up to Kurama. He stared, mesmerized, at the swaying of her curvy hips, at the smooth contours of her body.

"…My mind's all screwed and upside-down…"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, his arms slipped around her slim waist.

"But my heart's on overdrive!" Sprite plugged a pin in the side of Kurama's neck as she finished the verse. A look of confusion crossed his face then he fell to the ground fast asleep. She sighed a sigh of pure relief and slumped to the ground and dozed off.

When they woke up they were calmed down. So they resumed their walk. They passed a sign that said Bolagnaville- 99.374893267594819 miles.

"Dammit!" said Yusuke. "Why the hell does it have to be so far?????"

"Well now Urameshi, I be thinkin' you be needin' some help!"

They all looked up to see Jin floating in the air.

Yusuke: Hey Jin what's shakin?

Jin Not much. Just flyin' around and happened to see all of you here. So you be tryin' to get to Bolognaville eh? Well maybe I can give you all a lift!

He created a whirlwind that pushed them all up into the air. As an upwards current swept up, Sprite's skirt flew up. "EEKS!" She pushed the front down, but she was basically mooning the whole world.

Yusuke: * sings * THE-E-E-E-RE'S A FULL MO-O-O-ON OVER THE E-E-E-IFEL TOWE-E-E-E-R!!

Sprite: *Still vainly trying to control her skirt * HEY I DON'T HAVE AN EIFFEL TOWER!!! I'm A GIRL!!

Jin: Ok then! THE-E-E-E-RE'S A FULL M-O-O-O-N OVER the F-I-I-I-E-E-E-E-LDS!

Sprite: THAT'S GROSS!

Hiei: CAN WE GO NOW??? We've put up with Koenma, with Kuwabara, and with killer twinkies. Lets get to that damn town before we encounter any more freaks.

So they all floated towards bolognaville with sprite behind them all and still vainly trying to control her skirt. Kurama spotted something.

Kurama: Hey what's that?

Jin: I think that's Bolognaville.

Kurama: I see that, but what's like right in front of the city?

No one knew so they flew down to investigate. They walked along a little path, and suddenly, they were stopped by the Planters peanut man!

Planters peanut man: You shall not pass.

Yusuke: But we gotta get into Bolognaville!

Planters peanut man: You shall not pass!

Hiei: LET US IN!!

Planters peanut man:YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

He waved his hand. "ATTACK MY YODELING POGO-STICK BOYS!!!" Thousands and thousands of yodeling Sweedish boys on pogo-sticks pogo-sticked out of the woods yodeling some sweedish pogo-stick yodels.

Jin, Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke: AAAAHHH AHHHH!! PLEASE!!! NOT SWEEDISH!!!

They sank to the ground with their hands over they ears and writhing in agony. Sprite, who had a backpack, dug through it and found her portable sound system. She stuck her Judas Priest CD in the player and cranked up the volume. `Hell-bent for Leather' boomed through the woods and through the ears of the yodeling pogo-stick boys whose ears were unaccustomed to heavy metal. The heaviness literally blew their brains out-brains and blood rained down on the clearing.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, The sandwich god looked angrily in his psychic ice-cube.

"I've sent killer Twinkies! I've sent yodeling pogo-stick boys! I've even sent Kuwabara!! NOTHING WILL STOP THEM!!! Except………….

* * * * *

APC: YOU"LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THAT"S THE LAST CHAPTER!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Actualidad, escribí UNO MAS CAPÍTULO!! Heh heh heh…NOW you'll spend the rest of your pathetic lives WONDERING WHAT THE SANDWICH GOD WILL SEND TO WIPE OUT YUSUKE AND THE GANG!!

::heh heh they'll never know I said I wrote one more…unless they're Spanish…or they know someone who speaks Spanish…or they have a Spanish dictionary…uh-oh ::

Please R&R!