Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Happiness is... ❯ Happiness is... Denial ( Chapter 2 )

- Chapter 1 -

Happiness is.... Denial

Hiei twitched in annoyance, his movements dislodging sakura blossoms from their branch. They drifted in the moonlight, delicately falling to earth. Having lived simple and fufilling lives, their tiny forms gracefully danced in the wind, calmly accepting their immenent fate: destruction.

'How annoying.'

The sulking, yes sulking fire apparition sat in the tree outside of a certain red headed, teenage Kitsune's bedroom window. Reclining back against the trunk, arms crossed, Hiei continued to contemplate on just how he had come to be in his present predicament.

'Hn, they conspired against me. It's the only possible reason I was caught off guard so easily. But, naturally, it's my fault. I should have been on guard. After all, there is no such thing as fate (despite whatever humans think..), and all events occur in context of cause and effect. Perhaps I could not reveal my Jagan to Yukina, but I should have predicted Yusuke's actions...

Like a neverending sword fight, from which none can escape, life has its loopholes. Even when life deals an especially lethal attack, there is always a way to counter, or turn the blow against your opponent. Good and evil, justice and antipathy... Humans claim that good will be rewarded, the evil brought to justice...? But in a world where Forbidden Children live while innocents and the unlucky suffer on the blade of his hired sword... How can there be justice? That is life: survival of the strongest.... In which case, the only person trustworthy, that a person can safely fall in love with ... is no one. We are always alone.'

It was during Hiei's deep ponderings that the window of Shuichi Minamino aka Kurama's bedroom was raised and a head poked through the opening to blink curiously. "Hiei? What brings you by so late at night? Is there something wrong?" Kurama's sleep filled voice lent proof to the late hour.

"Hn."

"Hiei?"

"Go back to sleep, Fox. I'm just thinking." Noticing Kurama's patient, and unwavering expression, the fire demon elaborated slightly. "Recent events have triggered a need for contemplation. This tree happens to be comfortable."

Kurama arched an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "And what recent events would that be, Hiei?"

"None of your business."

Kurama chuckled in amusement, "Very well, then. But you must know that I won't be able to go back to sleep now that I'm awake. Feel free to come inside once you're finished." And with that, Kurama drew his head back inside.

'Baka Kitsune, worrying all the time...' All the more reason to more carefully consider this mission. If he accepted it, would Kurama actually become happier? If he was with Keiko?

Huffing to himself, Hiei rose to his feet on the tree branch and approached the open window and peered inside. Kurama had walked over to his dresser and was now busily going through the drawers, withdrawing first a shirt, then a pair of dress pants and socks. Once he had his change of clothes, Kurama entered a door which connected his room to the bathroom, to set the clothes out for the next day. Sighing, Hiei climbed through the window and entered the room, then stood with arms crossed as he waited for the Kitsune to reemerge.

Kurama's room was like him, clean, well ordered, and polite. One had to search beneath the surface for hints of personality.... A small, exotic houseplant (that wasn't exactly domestic) in the edge of a window... A green rug, lavendar scented air freshner (that wasn't exactly artifical)... no posters, like many of his human teenage peers, but smaller signs of life.

Hiei didn't have to wait long before the bathroom door reopened and Kurama came back into the room. Crossing the room, Kurama pulled out a chair sitting in front of a desk and sat, gesturing for Hiei to take a seat on his bed if he so desired.

First step: determine whether Keiko and Kurama would actually be happy together. Is Kurama as unhappy as they say? But don't they really realize that he is a two hundred year old demon? happiness doesn't come to such creatures easily.

Phase one: gathering information on Subject Two.

"So, Hiei, was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Now was time to be subtle... cautious... "What have you been doing lately?" 'Che, not cautious, damn blunt habits of the tongue...'

Kurama arched a brow, "You mean, besides going to school every day and helping Yusuke and Kuwabara on missions for Spirit World?"

"..of course..."

'This would be easier, if I could just hold a katana to his throat and make him tell me, but that would just make Kurama even more worried and concerned... Not mentioning the fact that I might lose my life and fail this asinine mission.'

Kurama turned in his chair so that he faced away from Hiei, "Not much, really. Taking care of mother used to be my top priority, but now that she has remarried, I find myself with ample time on my hands when not getting pulled into one adventure or another."

"Oh?"

What an intelligent reply!

"Yes," Kurama replied. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

'Shit, shit, think, brain, think. Damn, can't use the Jagan... Wait, he's avoiding the question.'

"You're avoiding the question."

'Ahh Moron! you haven't asked the question yet!! You only asked him, "what are you doing", not what he's feeling!!!'

"The question?" Kurama said, beginning to smile. 'No doubt at my strange behavior.'

"The implied question!" Hiei's frustration changing into irritation.

Kurama cleared his throat, amusement brimming in his eyes. "Why are you concerned with what I've been doing anyway, Hiei?"

"Yusuke and Kuwabara have reason to believe that you are unhappy. I'm not saying I care... but, I was curious..."

'There. Finally said something coherent. Just can't handle conversations on my own initiative. Kurama knows that....'

Kurama frowned, his head bowing slightly in thought before turning back up to look at his guest. "And why would Yusuke and Kuwabara mention something such as this to you?"

"They seem to think that we're best friends, and blab all our secrets to each other."

Kurama chuckled wryly, "Well, that's definitely not the case, is it."

"Yes," Hiei agreed. "Just because we have known each other for a long time, and occasionally help, advise, and provide housing for each other, (Occasionally) doesn't mean we are friends."

"Indeed."

"Hn."

"Spending the night?"

"Hn."

"Alright, I'll get out your futon."~*~

Finally, when all the lights in Kurama's bedroom were turned out, but both its occupants were wide awake in their futons, Hiei decided to try again. Maybe, he thought, it would be easer in his natural element (shadows, not fire) to interrogate his sometimes partner, sometimes rival.

'Obviously, hedging around the question won't work. But I can't ask him straight out---'

From the darkened recesses, Kurama's smooth voice broke through the silence enshrouding the room with the very question the fire demon was so reluctant to ask outright.

"Hiei... are you happy?"

Oddly enough, Hiei was not sure how to answer the soft (melancholy? why?) voice of Kurama. Having spent his not thus far successful mission investigating Kurama's answer to the question, he had not attempted to understand the complexity of the information he sought. 'I... am not happy. No, I am not happy,' he decided. But he said instead, "What does it matter whether I am happy or not?"

"Are you happy?" he asked, remembering his mission and trying to mute the sudden onslaught of awakened memories... 'Yukina... Mother... ' No, not happy.

Hiei sensed the sound of shifting as Kurama rolled over on the bed, his back now to the fire demon. "I am as happy as I can be, considering...."

"Considering...?"

"Go to sleep, Hiei, it's very late."

'So does that mean he's happy or not happy? Damn Kitsune masks... Even after all this time, it is difficult to understand him. Too see past the illusions he puts up on a daily basis. And perhaps I never have. If I am just now figuring out, that I don't know such a simple thing: Is Kurama happy?'

'He's asleep now. I can see the peaceful rise and fall of his body under the coverlets. So, I close my eyes. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow, with Keiko.'~*~

Morning sunlight streamed through the open window, bright beams dancing along the floor and walls. In the bed, Kurama moved slightly, pushing back the covers as he roused and sat up, automatically glancing over to where the futon had been placed during the night.

Gone. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Kurama looked again. Nope, still not there.

Heaving a sigh, Kurama shifted to the edge of the bed and rose to his feet, spotting the folded futon and pillow sitting on the chair he had sat in during the beginning of his and Hiei's talk.

As a frequent bed and breakast (although, not usually the breakfast) host to Hiei, Kurama had become accustomed to the fire demon's habits. His boots never came off, he slept sporadically, and came and went at odd hours in the night.

Shaking his head, Kurama went to dress, the entire time his mind pondering over possible reasons for Hiei's unusually inquisitive behavior. 'I hope Yukina didn't get kidnapped again', the red head thought as he proceeded downstairs for breakfast.

The house seemed so quiet without Shiori, Shuichi, and his stepfather. Soon, the tea water was boiling, and Kurama poured himself a cup. He relaxed, reading the newspaper, and sitting in one of the empty kitchen chairs. He was just about to take a sip of tea when the ringing of the phone disrupted the pristine silence. Setting the cup on the table and folding his paper, Kurama rose from his chair and walked over to the counter to answer.

"Moshi Moshi, Minamino residence. This is Shuichi speaking."

"Shuichi, this is mom. How are you doing, honey?" In the background, Kurama could hear his stepdad and brother screaming, probaby at the the baseball players.

"Fine, mother. I hope everyone is having fun..."

"Oh, dear... --HIT THE BALL, NOT THE STUPID-- ... enjoying themselves. We wish you could have come with us... How's work?"Kurama had plead absence from the baseball game his family were now attending. Shuichi the younger was a big fan, appearantly. Working in his stepfather's business had its perks, sometimes...

"Fine, mother, everything's fine. I was just on finishing breakfast actually."

"That's good, dear. Shuichi! (Not you, dear, your brother) Please don't stand up in your seat!" *muffled voices* "Anyway... sorry about that. Have you given any consideration to...?"

"I have taken it into consideration, mother. I've yet to come to a decision, though." Kurama replied pensively.

"I see... Well, take as much time as you need, dear. I just want you to be happy. I don't want to impose on your promising life by forcing you to take care of me..."

"Mother.." Kurama began a weak protest, which was overlooked as his mother continued.

"After all, we're not alone anymore, like when your father left. We have a real family now..."

Kurama's eyes drifted closed in defeat, "Yes, mother, you're right."

"Alright, well, We'll be home sometime night! Goodbye, dear!"

"See you later, mother."

Kurama hung up the phone thoughtfully. And sipped his tea.

~Aww, is widdle Shu-chan jeawous over his widdle brother?~

Youko had the bad habit of speaking up at the worst of times...

'Oh, Inari... stop using the "baby" voice! And no, I'm not.'

~If you say so.... And you know I only use the "baby" voice when you're being stupid.~

'I'm not jealous. I just want mother to be happy. Why do you think she wants to do this?'

~She wants you to date, of course. Like most normal, human young men your age. So, you can get married and have lots of kits-- grandchildren.~

'Since when have you been an expert on human psychology? Besides, you only want to get your hands on some woman... Now, be useful for once, and tell me what you think Hiei was trying to do last night.'

~Obivously, he was trying to set you up with a girl.~

'Oh, just go away....'

Snickering commenced within Kurama's mind as the red head retook his seat at the table. As much as he hated to admit it, Youko had a point. Hiei had been up to something last night. The question was... what? Deciding he had time to ponder later, Kurama finished his tea and rose, crossing over to the sink to rinse out his cup and replacing it in the cupboard. Crossing the kitchen again, he took his jacket from the coatrack by the door, and with one last glance behind him, he left.

The door slammed behind him. Kurama didn't have to look back to see its broken hinges, forever needing to be repaired. It was etched into his memory.

~*~Flashback~*~

Kurama is reading in the family room. His head looks up curiosly.

"Mom, Dad! I'm going out! Be back later!" The 16 year old yelled, voice muffled as he put on a coat.

"Ok, where are you going?" His mother's voice trailed from the kitchen.

"Out with friends"

"When will you be back?"

"Whenever!"

"...Ok..."

"For God's sake, why must you question everything I do?! Parents!!"

*slam*

'One day, we're going to replace that door...' Worried about his mother, Kurama slips by the kitchen to check on her and hides, remaining out of sight, at the sound of his stepfather's voice.

"Ah, well, teenagers.. They're all like that at that age... Can't do anything about it, except keep a close, invisible eye on them. I'll bet it brings back memories, ne? Shuichi must have been a handful when he was younger..."

Curiously peering around the corner, Kurama's eyes widen as he takes in his mother's stricken face.

"Well, no... He was a very quiet child. Perfect and obedient..."~*~

Hopping from branch to branch, Hiei could see bits and pieces of the reality of the ningenworld below: flashes of humans walking down busy streets, going about their lives. Some salarymen late to work. Children on holiday, and mothers not much so, hurried amongst the crowds. All hurrying. All seen through a distorted view: red eyes glancing through branches at a fast speed.

The red eyes searched through the masses, attempting to seek out an individual form. A young woman, petite, with mahogany colored hair. Hiei knew she would be travelling this route, on her way to the Noodle shop her family owned. His senses honing in on his target, the fire demon slowed his pace.

Below, the lithe brunette continued walking, seemingly unaware of her silent follower. Hiei took this time to assess this ningen female, wanting to assure himself of her potential as a mate for Kurama.

'Nothing much in the way of muscles, but then, muscles have never been the best indicator of true strength... Her movements are graceful, and her posture speaks well. Probably wouldn't know youki if it hit her in the face, but then, I already knew that...'he thought, remembering a certain kidnapping incident years ago.

'Yusuke had to save her, then. She had been practically helpless. And still was, in all probabilty. But then... did strength have anything to do with Happiness? True happiness? Ok, fine.... love...'

His brief assessment over, Hiei's thoughts turned back to his kitsune associate and their somewhat awkward conversation the previous night. Of the numerous talks that he and Kurama had had in the past, that one had to have been the most...evasive. Kurama had denied being unhappy, but then, Kurama has been known at times to be a bit untruthful.... when it suited him.

"I am as happy as can be expected, considering...."

Considering what...? Or perhaps more importantly, why had Kurama said "cosidering" in the first place? Could it be that the Kitsune really wasn't satisfied with life? He remembered Kurama's blank and sterile bed room walls, with nothing to alleviate the beholder's eye but some slight color, scent, and house plants. Normal teenage humans, he noticed, were not so plain. Kurama's stepbrother, he remembered, kept his room messy. From what he'd seen, Shuichi-the-younger seemed an amazingly normal human. Estatic one minute over a high test grade, bemoaning the unfairness of life the next, when that girlfriend dumped him... Living for the moment, and not caring about future or past. In short, a teenager.

A bewildered Shiroi Minamino had not expected her new son's wild posters, and clothes, either or both on the floor. Or sometimes, the foodcrumb dusted tatami mats. Or that spontaneous social life...

Love was happiness in life, or so he'd heard. True, it went against his principles to deny himself the emotion (he didn't deserve it, after all). And what was never there could not be missed. His mother may have loved him, but she was dead. No, love was trust, and Hiei did not trust anyone, or care about anyone. So... why should Kurama's happiness concern him? Why did he care about "setting up" a ningen and demon?

Refocusing his attention on the girl, Hiei was slightly surprised to see she had stopped walking. Her hair whipped about her face in the breeze as Keiko looked around, with a rather agitated expression, and wild movements. She peered directly into the mini forest lining the streets. Specifically, the trees.

'Che, how did the ningen see me? Impossible, unless...'

"Come out! I... I know you've been following me... If you don't come out, I'll scream for help."

Growling in frustrated anger, Hiei prepared to leap down and reveal his identity to Keiko in order to staunch her threat of screaming. But before he could, there came a chorus of deep amused chuckles from his right. Tensing, Hiei looked over to find two older looking, largely built ningens emerging from an alleyway and approach Keiko. Hiei's eyes widened in surprise before narrowing in anger. How had he not sensed them?

'Is everyone trying to make fun of me, today?'

Now the fire demon's hand rested on his katana consideringly. They were human; Despite their demonic expressions, he knew they were not demons (at least not lower class, to be sure) because they lacked the frothing mouths and horns. The stupid, vacant eyes, however...

They had her trapped between them and an oak.

"Hey, baby wanna have some fun? Aw, Don't be like that..."

"I think she's trembling with excitement, ne?"

"Only one way to find out."

No doubt, she would fall prey.

'Maybe it'll boost my dying ego. Don't get to save innocents everyday. I don't know what I was thinking... that such a weak ningen would sense the flying shadow.'

But Hiei was forced to drop gracefully to the ground in mid swoop, and resheathe his sword; The weak ningen girl had already slapped her adversaries down.~*~

One might say that life was going downhill for Keiko Yukimura. After all, when you were the fiancee of Yusuke Urameshi, bad things were bound to happen to you. Then again, even when you were the ex-fiancee of Yusuke Urameshi, it seemed you still weren't safe.

Not that anything bad had happened today, but....

"Don't guys ever listen? I said leave me alone, but noooo, you just had to try and be big, macho, arrogant, jerk faces!" Keiko spat at the thugs, who were sprawled on the concrete sidewalk at her feet after being laid low by her vicious slaps.

Hiei smirked. 'Interesting... So the human has some redeeming qualities after all.'

When Keiko turned to walk off in a huff, there was Hiei, blocking her path.

"Hi."

"Hn."

"Why are you here?"

"... Are you happy?"

"... yes."

"Liar."

Keiko looked at the the fire demon strangely. Looked down, actually. Shorter than her, Hiei nevertheless made her nervous, even after knowing (actually, this was their first conversation) him as the team mate of her former fiance. He stared back impassively, black clothed form, standing starkly against the bright sunlight, and green landscape. 'Why all the questions? And why would he think I'm not happy?' Today was bizarre indeed...

"Why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't."

Keiko shook her head. Hiei sure was strange.. and complicated... and very hard to figure out someti- well, okay, all the time.

Shrugging, Keiko decided that she didn't have time for Twenty Questions with a tempermental Fire demon and so proceeded to step around Hiei in order to continue on to the noodle shop.

Standing with hands clasped behind his back, Hiei smirked as he watched Keiko walk away. A sudden, red glow fading behind the white bandana that the fire demon wore caused his smirk to widen into a smile.

'Phase One complete, on to Phase Two.'~*~

TBC...

Hiei: What is the meaning of this? I am being ridiculed!!! By humans!!!

Buffybot76: Oh pipe down, Hiei. You're doing a good deed!

Youko: Yes, you're getting me-- my human laid. What are partners for?

Kurama: *blushes* Youko....

Sesshiyuki: Aren't you supposed to be harmlessly locked away in your cell, Youko?

Youko: *shrugs* I got bored...

Kurama: I am not a cell!

Sesshiyuki: O.O;

Buffybot76: *placating gesture* Now, now, Kurama. We know that.

Sesshiyuki: You'll start a riot...

Hiei: I demand justice! This is humiliating!

Kurama: I thought you didn't believe in justice O.o;

Keiko: It can't be more bizarre than trying to hold a conversation with you...

Hiei: Hn. *crosses arms*

Keiko: *rolls eyes* Oh for crying out loud...

Sesshiyuki: Quick, Rose-chan! We gotta end it before Hiei---

Hiei: Kokuryuuha....

Everyone: O.O;;; Oh, shit!!!