Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets ❯ ch 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Summary:: One shot fic. For sixteen years Kurama has lived through the guilt of not telling his mother about himself. Now he knows that he must tell but the question is how will she take it. Will she accept him for who he is or will she push him away?

A/n:: Yeah, yeah I know there are a ton of these fics out there. And the many different outcomes but I still hope that you will read yet another one. Also so I don't get flamed the pairing that I kinda in a round about way mention is Kurama/Hiei.

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Secrets.

By: Kitsune of Darkness

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A new month begins.

Flowers bloom, their glory renewed.

A new time for old secrets to come out.

To come out to new light.

When the new month begins.

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Sitting alone on the grassy hill was a red headed teen. His emerald orbs taking in the serene sight that unfolded before him.

Though on the outside he seemed calm, inside was a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, sadness, selfishness, and fear danced around his heart and soul tugging at both. Which would win, he did not know.

A tiny tear slowly escaped from the corner of his eye. The tiny tear fell down his pale cheek leaving a tiny silver trail. On his lips he could taste the salty remains.

Though his eyes stared at the wonderful sight his mind still refused to register it. His eyes stared at a tree in the distance, though he did not see it. Even the newly risen sun could not distract the teen from his thoughts. Kurama did not even turn his eyes to the black flash that appeared beside him.

Hiei stared at the red head beside him. Worry crept into his crimson eyes as he stared at Kurama, his lover. For the last few days Kurama had become distant from the others.

Never had he seen his friend like this. Not after his fight with Karasu, not even after all of the trying missions that they had faced together, side by side.

Gently he placed a hand upon Kurama's shoulder. Not receiving an acknowledgement he decided for a more direct approach.

Sitting beside the troubled teen he gently spoke. "What's the matter Kurama? You have been down for the last few days. The baka and detective are really worried about you." And so am I, remained unsaid floating on the tip of his tongue.

The green eyes slowly fell to the equally green grass. Sighing Kurama shook his head. Two tears flying away from his face. "Nothing to worry about just thoughts." A sad smile adorned his face as he stared at the ground.

Kurama's hand slowly slid from his leg and landed on the soft ground. A calloused, yet gentle, hand covered it squeezing tightly as though a reassurance.

Hiei knew. He knew then what Kurama was talking about. How often on nights that they were alone had the fox told about how his heart broke with the secrets that he held. After all did he not own secrets of his own? Yukina was still clueless as to who her brother was. Yes he too knew all to well the heartbreak that the fox felt now.

Squeezing the hand that he held Hiei leaned over slightly. Just enough to get within the fox's view.

"You have nothing to worry about. After all she accepted us." Hiei smiled slightly as he stood. "Just tell. She will still love you, trust me." And with that he flitted from view.

Kurama stared at the hand that laid on the ground. Still he could feel the hand that had rested on it. `Just tell her? How can I? Yes she accepted Hiei and me but that was not a secret that was kept for sixteen years. It was not a secret about me being a thief and murderer. About, about me taking her unborn son's body.' The voice within Kurama's head slowly faded as he thought about the secret that he bore.

Why did he chose now?

Now that he was old enough to legally kick out?

Why?

Sighing sadly he rose. There was no delaying the inevitable. It was his own grave that he had dug. Now he must face the music.

---

Shiori woke to the sun shinning it's rays within the tiny window. Sighing she slowly sat up in bed stretching. Mornings were her favorite time of the day. So fresh, so pure.

A huge smile came to her face. She just could not help it. Her life was perfect. She had a perfect son whom she loved dearly, and now she was going to marry a man whom she loved only second to her first husband. Not only that but he also had a wonderful little boy whom she loved dearly, just like her son.

`Two Shuuichi's. Who would have ever guessed. Scolding them is going to be hard.' Shiori shook her head at the thought. No, never in her life had she had to scold her son. Her brown eyes traveled down to her scar adorned hands which rested on her lap. No, he was never bad. Curious and inquisitive yes, but bad never.

The door slowly creaked open and a red head shot through the tiny opening. With a fake smile planted on his face Kurama kicked open the door holding a tray.

"Happy Birthday Mother!!" Kurama gently set the tray down and kissed her cheek.

Shiori looked down at the tray and smiled. There was a bowl of fruit and a blood red rose.

Giggling slightly, like a school girl she grabbed the flower. Closing her eyes Shiori smelt it. "Mmmm. It smells wonderful. Here, smell Shuuichi."

Obediently Kurama leaned over and smelt the flower. Forcing another fake smile he tried to keep the pang of guilt at bay that he now felt. Could he tell? Hearing his human name just tore his soul apart.

Taking a deep breath he turned to his mother. "I have one more present for you mother."

Shiori put down the grape that she about to eat and looked over at her son. Worry crept into her eyes as she stared at him. What a pained expression his face held.

"Mother you know how you always told me that I was a miracle. About how you were supposed to never have a child," Shiori nodded silently. Just about everyday she had told him that. The doctors had told her that she would never be blessed with a child. "Well I am not your son." Kurama's eyes fell. Mentally he kicked himself how stupid that sounded.

Shiori smiled, "No, you are my son and my miracle. Why you are so sweet and special and…"

"Stop Mother, just stop." Kurama inwardly shuddered at the harshness within his voice. That was not the tone that Shuuichi would use, no that was a Youko tone. Guilt panged in his heart again as he stared at his mother's shocked face. "I'm not your son. Or not the one who you think I am."

Shiori sat silent waiting patiently for her son to continue. Confusion and hurt entered her big beautiful brown eyes.

"I was, and still am, a Youko, a fox spirit. I was a murderer and thief. One night I decided to try to steal a priceless treasure but only to get shot by a bounty hunter. Seriously injured I only had enough strength to possess a soulless embryo. The embryo of your actual son."

Kurama paused for a second before continuing. His green eyes stayed on the bed spread the entire time. "I was only supposed to stay for ten years. Long enough for my energy to return. But when you got those scars, that day. That day I learned what to be loved was really like. Then you got sick." A tear fell down from his cheek to the blue spread. "After that I just could not do it. After everything you did for me..I...I just...couldn't..."

Shiori turned her face away from her son. Or the one she thought her son had been. Her brown eyes turned to the window.

Ashamed Kurama stared at his feet. Sighing he turned and started to walk out of the room. Shiori's eyes remained staring out the window.

Kurama stopped at the door, his hand inches from the knob. "I'm sorry mother for ruining your birthday but I thought that you should know the truth. The full truth."

Inside his head Kurama could here himself begging for his mother to accept the news. Oh how he wanted to run over to her and dive under the covers. To smell her hair as she cuddled with him. The same way that she had done whenever he would have a bad dream.

Shiori continued to stare out the window, in complete shock. Her son, her miracle. The precious child was… He was… But he was…

Kurama opened the door. Silently he prayed that she would call out to him. Beg him to come to her. Or that she would run and hug him.

But she did not.

Kurama walked out the room and shut the door quietly. Out in the hall Kurama stood facing the wall. Tears welled up, pushing and begging to be let out. Out past the wall. His emotional wall.

Shiori still sat still as stone. `Why, oh why did he have to tell me. I would have been happy if I had never knew. Never knew of his true self.' Tears cascaded down her pale cheeks. Bringing her knees up, she buried her face within her lap.

`Why?'

`Why did he decide to tell me now? Why not when he was younger? Why not never?'

Out in the hall Kurama fingered a picture that hung on the wall. A picture of him and his mother. They were at the aquariums. It had been soon after the broken china. For her stitches were still visible.

`I'm so dumb. Why did I ever expect her to want me. A murderous demon. One who deceived, stole, lied, and killed just to get my way?'

Shaking his head sadly Kurama turned from the wall, letting his clenched fist fall against the snow white wall.

How he wished that he could go back in time. Kurama would have rather lived with the guilt of never telling the truth then to have his mother disown him.

Anger rose from deep within. He, Kurama, had told his mother hoping that she would accept him. No this was not her fault but instead Hiei's. After all had he not told Kurama that everything would be well.

Last time he would trust the words of a `forbidden child.'

Anger echoed in his steps as he walked down the stairs and out the front door. Kurama stood on the porch holding the door open. He would make sure that she would hear this. After all this is what she truly wanted.

With all the force he could muster Kurama slammed the door, sure that the neighbors were not happy about the rude awakening.

Shiori sat in bed still crying. Downstairs she could hear the door slam. But what could she do? Her son was...he was...was a monster. He was not human. There was no possible way that he could be.

Lifting her tear streaked face her brown eyes met her scar adorned hands. The hands that were her bravery badge. Her purple heart

Inside an internal conflict raged...

`But he's not human. He's not my son. He's a fox spirit, a demon.'

`But he was always there for you. Especially when you were sick and in the hospital.'

`But he was going to leave. He was planning to leave me with a broken heart and a longing soul.'

`But he did not. He stayed. He is human. For if he was not he would not be able to care.'

`So what!'

`But most of all to love.'

`...'

The tears stopped flowing as she stared at the breakfast tray. And the beautiful red rose. He truly did love her.

`My son!!'

He was going to leave forever if she did not react. Jumping out of bed she flew to the door. He just had to know. He had to know how she really felt.

`No matter what his sins were he's still my son.'

Down the stairs.

`My son wait for me!'

To the landing.

`Please forgive me for not accepting you earlier.'

Her hand reached out for the shiny knob.

`I love you and I will always!'

Throwing open the door she ran out to the sidewalk. And to the red head that walked further away from her.

From the woman that loved him for sixteen years.

Tears streamed down her face. What could she do?

"Shuuichi!!" Shiori ran not caring that she was still in her nightgown.

All that was in her mind was to not let her son, her baby, disappear.

Disappear for ever.

Much to her delight Kurama stopped and turned. Turned to her voice.

And ran. Ran to her outstretched arms.

Kurama buried his head into her neck. Sobbing he whispered, "Oh Mother. Please forgive me."

Smiling Shiori shook her head. "What do you have to be sorry for? No one can blame you for being born to another family first. Besides this makes you even more special. How many other parents have such a special son."

Kurama looked up with mixed emotions. She had said the `s' word. Did that mean that she accepted him, for who he was?

As if to answer Shiori continued, "And yes your my son. Nothing will ever change that."

Kurama wept once again but this time not for fear or sorrow but instead in joy. Joy knowing that his mother did accept him.

Up in a tree a black figure watched with a smile. Closing his eyes he said silently, `Good job, my love.' Maybe someday he would take the fox's courage and tell his sister the truth. Looking down one last time he smiled and flitted from view. After all this was a personal moment. A moment for a mother and son to catch up.

X-X-X-

Ok feel free to tell me how this was. Was it good or bad, tell me in a review!!