Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Slivers Of You ❯ Cannibalism Just Isn't My Thing... ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Blkwidow777 
This just wasn't Yuusuke's day. Not that it usually is, the boy just seems to naturally attract trouble. This time though, it was of a different sort... It's Christmas troubles all wrapped up with Keiko and a crooked little bow.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.07.2005 | Updated On: 01.07.2005 | Pages: 7 | Words: 10.0K | Visits: 185 | Status: Completed
This just wasn't Yuusuke's day. Not that it usually is, the boy just seems to naturally attract trouble. This time though, it was of a different sort... It's Christmas troubles all wrapped up with Keiko and a crooked little bow.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.07.2005 | Updated On: 01.07.2005 | Pages: 7 | Words: 10.0K | Visits: 185 | Status: Completed
Hello again! I don’t know how many of you are reading this out there, but if you read this, I would really appreciate your thoughts. Don’t fear reviews! Although I do not tolerate flames. I DO accept and appreciate constructive critcism. If you think something is wrong with this or could use improvement, feel free to speak out! I don’t mind! I think it’s great. Please be as specific as you can. That’s what helps me.
But now it’s my playtime… MWHAHSAHAHAHA
*random people are scattered around the room, including InLoveWithHiei and Jojo*
*a truly deranged picture is pinned to a wall*
KUWABARA: 0-0’’ What the hell is that? *gets closer and squints his eyes trying to figure it out*
ME: ^_^ It’s our game for today! It’s called ‘Pin The Tail On The Santa!’! he he… Perfect for Christmas, ne?
INLOVEWITHHIEI: *raises eyebrow* That doesn’t really look like Santa.
ME: *laughs* Course it does silly! *pats InLoveWithHiei’s head* It’s just that I inbred Santa with a Donkey!
*Jojo backs away*
YUUSUKE: Yeah… You have problems.
ME: *dancing* I go first! I go first! It’s my birthday!
KUWABARA: o-O It is?
ME: ^_^’’’ No. But it sounded like a go reason to go first, didn’t it?
*Kuwabara and Jojo anime fall*
*InLoveWithHiei smacks herself in the forehead and sighs hard*
YUUSUKE: You do that. *backs away as I pick up a blind fold*
*Jojo ties in on me*
*She ties it too hard*
ME: *teary* Ow!! That hurts! It’s pulling my hair!
JOJO: Oh Shut up you baby! *intentionally pokes me in the hand with the needle on the tail*
*I whine*
*InLoveWithHiei spins me around so hard I trip and fall flat on my face, almost impaling myself on the needle*
JOJO: *laughs* Now that’s entertainment!
*InLoveWithHiei giggles and salutes with her shovel*
*I stumble back up and dizzily try to remember the direction of the wall*
*I’m not doing so good, I hear a lot of laughter*
*I get frustrated and growl when all of the sudden, my foot hits something*
*I figure it must be the wall and I forcefully shove the needle of the tail in*
HIEI: O-O ….. OOOWWWW! *snarling and hissing* I’m going to kill you!
ME: o-o’’ Oh sh*t!
*I try to run, but I’m still blindfolded*
*InLoveWithHiei and Jojo are cracking up*
*I run right smack into a wall, head first*
*SMACK*
ME: …. X_X
HIEI: *rolls eyes, lowering the katana* hn… *sighs heavily*
------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------
“Cannibalism Just Isn’t My Thing”
Previously:
~~~~KUWABARA~~~~~
~~~~~She comes over to stand in front of me, her hair shifting softly in the breeze, as she looked down at her feet, her hands clasped together in front of her. She looked really uncomfortable. That made me really curious. What was going on? This kind of stuff never happens to me! What is she up to? This had better not be a trick! I open my eyes and look at her. "<Well?>" I say more gruffly then I mean to. "<I um... I just wanted to know...>" the girl stammered at me. My eyes went wide. Is she gonna say what I think she's gonna say? No way! "<I just... uh...>" the girls face turned absolutely beet red. I felt bad for her. I was making her uncomfortable. I smile at her softly, and turning on the charm, I grab her chin in-between my hand and pick her face up to look at me. "<Name's Kuwabara. What's yours?>" She continued to blush hard, but finally smiled back. Her eyes just glowed like topaz. Such a beautiful girl... "<I wanted to know.. If you wanted to go somewhere with me sometime...>" she finally spit out, her voice drifting off at the end and her eyes shifting away. WHAT? My eyes were large like the moon. The girl had asked me out? I... can't believe it!
But what am I suppose to say???? Now it's my turn to be extremely uncomfortable. What am I suppose to tell this girl? I'm in love with Yukina!~~~~~
_________________________________________________________
~~~~YUUSUKE~~~~
I can’t believe the way this day has gone. It hadn’t started out that way. It was just like every other day, and they all run together…
I had woken up late for school. That’s nothing new. I slunk into the kitchen to grab some orange juice to wake me up, and just like usual.. it was completely empty. There are times I wonder how I don’t starve. Guess I’m just tough like that. Sometimes I go over to Keiko’s house. They’ll always feed me. They love me to death. That I don’t understand at all. They’re nice people, why do they put up with a punk like me? Hell, if I were them, I wouldn’t let me around their daughter!
But whatever, that’s only when I’m up early enough. It’s obvious I wasn’t today. No breakfast. I look for my mom on the couch, to tell her to get her a$$ to the grocery store to get some food but she isn’t there. Looks like she hasn’t yet come home from her ‘party’ she went to last night. Typical….
I got half way to school, when I ran across some particularly annoying guy from my school. Some soccer jock I think. He has this idea in his head that he’s better then me, maybe he is, I don’t know. But what really gets me, is that he seems to think that he’s stronger than me too. Now that’s a joke! Clearly, he’s not too bright, or maybe he is, cuz he talks a whole hell of a lot, talking crap at school while he’s protected by teachers, but he never actually tries to fight me.
Anyway, it’s not like I care about that. That’s not what caught my eye. It was the guy’s lunch. He had this huge bag of food just hanging in his hand, begging me to take it. It was a black insulated preppy boy bag with some blue slash logo, but it was just straining with bumps of all the food stuffed inside. My stomach growled. Yep. Mom was right about one thing.. A way to a guys heart is through his stomach. And I was definitely in love!
I decided that me and the prep need to get more acquainted…
I had walked up to him. He was busy trying to get his ‘groove’ on with some girl. He had his back to me, so she saw me first. You could tell she recognized me from school, cuz she got the ‘oh s**t!’ look in her eyes. I’m not very popular with the girls at my school. Especially after someone spread a rumour that I eat them…
I raise a eyebrow at her, and throw her a devilish grin, letting my tongue flick out to lick my lips in a hungry way. She steps back, looking frightened. Guess she believes the rumours too. So ‘Mr. Jock’ finally stops looking at her boobs long enough to notice the girls spooked. He turns around to see what she’s looking at. His face is all scrunched up, angry like, probably cuz he didn’t want to be disturbed. But when he saw me, his face faltered and I saw a common sight.. fear. I almost laughed. He was in front of the girl though, and he was probably hoping to get some, so he covers it up as quick as he could. “<Well, look at my luck.>“ I toss at him.
He’s in a cocky mood. He smarts back “<Urameshi the punk. Planning to rob a bank before school, you piece of trash!>“ Oh yeah… Like that hurt. But if he wants to talk trash, I’m all for it. “<Hey buddy, Just because you got hit with the ugly stick, doesn’t mean you need to take it out on everybody else.>“ I tell him calm, my hands still in my pockets.
“<Toga?>“ comes the squeaky voice of the girl “<You’re not going to let him treat you that way, are you?>“ He was already smoking though, she just lite the fuse. He blew, charging at me “<You a$$hole! I’m gonna knock you into tomorrow!>“
Now. I could’ve dodged that fist of his pretty easy. That’s for sure. He moved like a turtle. But wouldn’t you know.. I actually felt bad about taking the guys food. Not that I had just yet, but I definitely was going to. So I let him hit me, get in a shot so he’d feel better, you know? That’s just the kind of giving guy I am.
He lands his punch square in my jaw. I never moved. It was sad, now that I think about it. I could tell he was hitting me with everything he had, but it just wasn’t crap. My head barely moved to the side, and I never blinked. Just pathetic.
He was grinning like mad, like he thought he had won, tell he saw me just turn my head back. I then stared at him dead on, and turned my neck sideways to crack it. “<That it?>“ I ask him politely. Figure I should check, just to be sure. I don’t want him thinking I cheated him or anything. He’s eyes got big. Yep. That’s all he had.
Now it was my turn. I had lunged at him and landed my own punch. That’s the bad part about fighting humans these days, I’m always having to hold back. I don’t want to kill them. It’s takes the fun out of everything but that’s just the way it is.
Even holding back, my punch directly to his face, sent him flying several feet back. Whoops! Guess I don’t know my own strength any longer. Too bad for him I guess. He doesn’t move though, it could be that he’s unconscious, I hope he’s not dead. I better check. I take a step towards him and his ‘girl’ goes from horrified to terror in 1.2 seconds flat. I look at her. What’s her deal? Like I’m gonna touch her. I could care less. I maybe hungry but I’m not THAT hungry.
She runs, leaving the guy as a sacrifice. Yeah, I can tell she was really into him. I laugh outloud. By the end of school today, I’m sure the other kids at school will call me the “greatest cannibal” on earth. Maybe I should get a t-shirt made.
My stomach growls again. My jokes will have to wait, I’ve got other things to take care of. Reaching down beside the soccer jock, I relieve him of his lunch. It won’t kill him to skip one meal. I’m sure HIS ‘mommy’ will have dinner for him when he gets home, so he can live without.
I got a few blocks away, to sit at the rusted bench under that twisted grey/brown old tree. That tree must be really old, but it’s still hanging on. Kinda reminds me of Genkai actually! I laugh, imagining how pissed off she’d be at that if she heard me. Maybe I’ll drop in on her later, it’s been awhile.
Cracking open the guys lunch, I see I really lucked out. It would seem that this guy could eat a bus for lunch! He had 7 huge rice balls with beans in the center, 2 bananas, 10 pieces of fresh sushi on rice, a container of miso soup, a insulator of orange juice AND a pomegranate. Holy crap! This guys eats this much every day? I’d be the stay puff marshmallow man right now, if that were me! Anyway, I’m going to be eating like a king! I gobbled up so fast, I got a stomach ache and almost chucked everywhere! The world a little woozy and greenish before my eyes. I laid down on the bench for equilibrium. Now that I was full, I wished that I had slowed down enough to actually taste this stuff. I haven’t been this full since the last time I crashed Keiko’s parents restaurant.
I licked my lips, tasting some of the pomegranate juice still there, it’s bitter sweet taste still good a second time around. I decide I can still fit some more food in this body, if there’s anything tasty left. I open the lunch bag and turn it upside down over my stomach and shake it. You can’t imagine how sad I was, that nothing more came out. Maybe I should have saved something for later but it’s too late now. I shook the bag once more in frustration and something flitted out. I caught it mid-air. It was $20!
What kind of great luck was that? I heard the clock chime loudly from its place in the center of the park, letting me know that it was 8:00 am. School had just started. Well, if I had meant to go to school before, I sure as hell wasn’t going now! I’m heading to the arcade!
I jump up quickly, and my stomach lurches in protest, I have to swallow back bile. Uh.. yeah. I’ll have to remember to eat more slowly next time….
I shoved the twenty in my back pocket and whistling, I head off for some fun…
The arcade had been great. Some of those games have been calling my name for awhile. I just didn’t have the money to answer.
But notice that I said it HAD been great. See, I lost track of time. Wasn’t paying any attention at all. I never saw the shadow of Keiko loom larger then life behind me… till it was too late to save myself.
And I still had five dollars left to play with too..
It would seem, or so I could guess from all her raging and screaming, that I had promised her I’d go shopping with her. Trying to remember agreeing to something so stupid, I was having a hard time. When had I said that?
Then I had looked down at that perky little chest of hers… And it hit me! Well, she hit me too, but I meant the memory. It was this exact same chest I had been looking at last night, when I walked her home. And when we got to her parent’s place, she had asked me if I’d go shopping with her the next day. Sad part was, I wasn’t really listening, she could have asked me if I have three legs and I would’ve said yes to that question too. I was very busy admiring a nice piece of…
Yeah well. You get the idea. So here I was, in the arcade, having a great day and Keiko comes to ruin it. It wasn’t fair, I tell you! Those things on chicks should be a lethal weapon! A deal breaker! What poor guy can resist? Guys should be able to walk into court and plead innocence. I could just picture it…
~~~Yuusuke’s Courtroom Fantasy~~~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------< br />
JUDGE: *sounding stern* You have been charged with First Degree Murder. How do you plead?
YUUSUKE: *serious* Innocent Your Honor!
JUDGE: *raising an eyebrow* On what bases, do you make this claim? *very sceptical*
YUUSUKE: *in precautionary handcuffs, and you hear them -plink- against the defence table as he shifts* I was hypnotize your Honor! By Keiko Yukimora’s boobs! I didn’t stand a chance!
*you hear the judge and preliminary jury gasp audibly*
JUDGE: *wide eyed* No! That would be the eighth case this week! *speaking to the court officers* Bring in Ms. Yukimora!
*Keiko is dragged in, in handcuffs. She’s wearing a low cut fire engine red top and a short navy blue school uniforn skirt. Her face is passive and haughty, like she doesn’t believe she be convicted.*
*She is brought before the judge. She even glace at Yuusuke as she is brought past him. But maybe it‘s better that way, as there‘s a bucket of drool on the floor*
JUDGE: *solemn* How do you plead to the charges of malicious intent to control a male, for the intent of committing first degree murder, Ms. Yukimora? *leans forward for a better look* *shame shame!*
KEIKO: *flitting her hair dramatically to the side and pouting out her lower lip seductively* Not guilty.. *pout pout* *she leans in, so he can get a peek* I’ve been framed! *lets a tear escape*
*Yuusuke continues to drool heavily*
JUDGE: *still staring* *is poked by nearby cop* Oh! Yes, right! Oh my! You ARE good Ms. Yukimore! Please have a seat. *he watches her rear, as she walks to her seat*
KEIKO: *smirking* You’re going down drool boy! *speaking to Yuusuke, even as she flirts*
JUDGE: *ahem* I am ready to make my determination! Yuusuke I find you to be innocent on the grounds that you were INDEED hypnotized by Ms. Yukimora’s wonderful little… *ahem* Ms. Yukimora! I find you guilt of malicious intent of First Degree Murder, and hereby sentence you to 3 hours of jail time! *Whack goes his mallet in finality*
*the crowd is in an uproar, and news people rush in*
*Keiko gasps and screams obscenities*
*Yuusuke walks up to her and pats her butt*
*She tries to swing but is still handcuffs*
YUUSUKE: *smiling* Don’t worry! I’ll help you blow that Popsicle stand! I won’t let you get old in there baby!
KEIKO: *hissing* Oh Shut up Yuusuke! *is drug away*
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I snapped out of my sexy daydream, to disappointment. Keiko was not wearing the hot little low cut top and I was no longer at the arcade. She had drug me several blocks, to the first of many hellish stores she wanted to shop at. She kept asking me the stupidest questions about whether this person would like that color. Or whether this seemed old fashioned. Or whether or not shoes were meant to be made of this or that material. LIKE I CARE!
It was a living hell…
That’s why, when I saw Kuwabara miraculously appear across the street, looking in Christmas window displays.. I saw my chance!
Bold as brass, I grabbed Keiko’s hand, that lay unsuspecting at her side as she looked at a dress in the window, and begun to pull her across the street. I suppose I should have checked for cars, but I was just too focused for that. They will have to look out for us!
“<Yuusuke?>“ Keiko said, at first nothing more then startled. But I didn’t look back or respond to her hapless question, and it was at this point that she begun to resist me. So maybe not responding to her was a bad idea…
I quickly strain all my attention forward at Kuwabara, willing him to look my way, as I drug Keiko, bucking like a mule. He doesn’t look. Stubborn fool! He’s probably ignoring me on purpose, hoping I’ll go away! Well… I won’t! “<Oi! Kuwabara!>“ I shouted after him, as loudly as possible from the middle of the road, and waving hard for good measure. Yukina turns to look at us, too. Perfect.
He turned in horrified slow motion, to look at me. Yep, I was right. He was hoping I would go away. That’s just too damn bad though! I keep marching forward, as the cars shriek to a halt around us. "<Yuusuke! Stop it! You're hurting me! Let go already!>" Keiko snarls, a little to close for comfort. Thank Kami we reached the sidewalk and I pulled her safely on it. She didn’t look as appreciative as I’d hoped.
I turn my back on her for the moment, to speak to Kuwabara, hoping he’ll help me out here, when I get the sensation to duck. I move swiftly to the side, to feel Keiko’s open palm whiz right by my ear! I immediately stuck my finger in my ear to remove the irritating sensation, before swiftly turning towards Keiko, figuring I’d better not leave her unattended just yet.
I turn on the charm… "<Now Keiko, when did you go getting so violent on me?>" I say light hearted and flashed her a smile. And just to seal the deal, I winked at her in a way that says ‘I know you love me’. She holds that angry look for a moment, before it melts away. ‘Oh yeah baby!’ I laugh to myself ‘You know you can’t resist the Urameshi Love-a-nator!’ Though it’s probably best I don’t say it out loud.
Before she gets a chance to turn me to mince meat, I turn to Kuwabara, hoping to get him to roll for me, with just my eyes. I don’t want to say anything to alert Keiko of what I’m up to. I just got her calmed down, after all. But it looks like Kuwabara’s got some grudge going on with me at the moment, his face all twisted up with ugly thoughts. How the hell knows what it’s for this time. But I wish he could hold off till later. Particularly with the crowd that seemed to be gathering around us. I don’t know what was so fascinating about us, but they need to move on. Unless… of course, they want to cough up some dough for the entertainment!
Oh well. I’d better turn up the heat, by turning the tables on him. "<Kuwabara! I'm glad I finally found you! You ditched me today!>" I said, figuring that would be enough to put him on the spot. I found out though, that that wasn’t that great of an idea either. I seem to be striking out all over the place today. I’d clearly hit a sore spot by the way he’d narrowed his eyes and was hissing between his teeth. Or maybe it was that his hands were in fists and twitching. I don’t know, that was just the impression that I got. I suppose I could be wrong?
He glared at me something nasty. What the hell did I ever do to him? I haven’t even been around all day! I try again, with another flash of my trade mark smile "<psst! Help me out here!>" I even wink for good measure. No good though. That really seems to blow his stack and his face gets all red and splotchy and he snaps "<Why should I when you're the one to->"
Uh Oh. I better cut him off before he really gets going! I lean into him buddy-buddy like and go "<Oh come on!>" No response, just a really stiff straight body. I press bravely on, switching to out and out bribery "<I'll buy you a Sundae if you help out of->"
I see him hesitate and I know I have him now! That is.. Till Keiko’s voice booms behind me "<Yuusuke! Are you trying to ditch me?>" I scrunch up my shoulders, wishing to cover my ears, as she steps up behind me. Great. Now I can’t whisper anymore. That really shoots my efforts of male secrecy and bonding all to hell. ‘Why not just suck the soul straight out of me, why don’t you?’ I hiss bitterly to myself.
This just sucks all the more, by the minute….
The train wreak has arrived. "<You PROMISED me you'd help me Christmas shop for a couple hours Yuusuke! I had to hunt you down where you were hiding after school, just to get you to come like you said!>" Keiko said, growing angrier by the word. What does she want with me? I don’t know how I even got suckered into this, to begin with. Is she really surprised I’ve become a desperate madman on the run??
"<But Keiko, I was right in the middle of winning->" I whined at her pathetically. I thought that might work. It’s always possible she’d understand, right? Nope. Not at all. Actually, that really seemed to add fuel to the fire. "<And! You made me so embarrassed, having to practically cause a scene to get you to leave that damn arcade you're always in!>" she was pretty much shouting loud enough for the whole block to hear. Damn female. She’s always so difficult. Then she wonders why I run!
Then, just as I was looking for another escape route, as Kuwabara refused to be of any help… "<Keiko.. Um...>" came the small voice of Hiei’s sister Yukina. Got to love that girl. She makes it looks so easy, as she smoothes everything over with just the sound of her voice. "<If you don't mind. I'd love to go shopping with you. It sounds like fun.>" Yukina continued, when she saw she had Keiko’s full attention. Wow! I could kiss that girl! Cept… course, that would just start my problems all over again, now wouldn’t it?
Kuwabara looked like I had just socked all the air from his lungs, like he just deflated. Apparently this didn’t work for him. He WANTED to shop with Yukina. Sometimes I really wonder about him. But I held my breath waiting..
I had been waiting for Keiko’s response, but it was Kuwabara that spoke first. That was a bit of a shock of the unexpected.. "<Hey Keiko! Urameshi's right. We did have something we were suppose to do today. I didn't want to spoil the surprise but... He asked me to help him find you a Christmas present. Told me he didn't have a clue what to get such a beautiful girl like you.>" Kuwabara told Keiko in one of his rare ‘cool’ moments.
My jaw hit the floor.
What the hell was he doing?? I don’t need this pressure. Not from him. This was below the belt! EVERY guy knows that you never let a girl get her hopes up. It’s just bad policy. What if you can’t meet their expectations? And let’s face it. Us poor guys are rarely able to meet a girl’s expectations of us. That’s just the way it is. Girls want too much, and we just don’t have it. We do what we can.
And here was Kuwabara, breaking all the rules. And sure enough, I saw Keiko’s beautifully colored face go pure red with embarrassment AND pleasant surprise. This was really bad. "<I.. well... Sorry, I didn't know. I->" she stumbled along. I’m sure her mind with just racing with possibilities. I sigh. How am I gonna get out of this one?
I see Kuwabara lean into Keiko, and my eyes narrow. I get a really bad feeling in my stomach, then… "<Don't worry Keiko. I'll make sure he gets you something really pretty!>" Kuwabara whispers to her, knowing full well that I can still hear him clear as day. She turns even more red. He’s sealed the deal, and I’m gonna kill him! I stare him down, with a predatory look and I’m sure he gets my meaning.
I’m so angry I can’t even speak. This is betrayal! This isn’t forgivable! Before I can do or say anything I’ll probably regret later, I turn and walk off. I don’t even trust myself to say goodbye to Keiko and Yukina, I’m that upset. I get half a block away and that moron still hasn’t caught up. It’s not that I want him around me now after what he did, but he’s gonna figure out how to undo the damage he’s just done, NOT ME!
I turn back around swiftly, my hands tucked hard into my pockets to keep from shooting him with my spirit gun and I snap "<You coming or what?>" He grins at me, like he hasn’t done anything, but turns around to give a forlorn look at Yukina. Yukina, however, isn’t even paying attention to him anymore, as she chatters away with Keiko. Both girls have entirely forgotten us.
Good. I hope Kuwabara suffers…
……………………………….............
………………………
Once he had managed to peel himself away from Yukina and caught up with me, I had wasted no time in snarling "<You just had to do that, didn't you?>" But all he told me for a excuse, was what I knew already.. He was angry about me disturbing him with Yukina. That was no excuse. This was a serious offence.
But angry as I was, I just couldn’t seem to get myself to do much of anything at the moment. It’s really drug me down, this realization that I gotta get Keiko something special for Christmas. I’m sure I really sound like an a$$, like I don’t care about her. But I do. I care about her a lot. It’s not that I wasn’t even thinking that I shouldn’t get her something nice.
I guess I really having been thinking to much about it at all. I just keep pushing back, like I’ll have more time to deal with it later. I’ve been doing that for weeks now. But here it is, 9 days till Christmas and I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do about this ‘present’. I don’t have money. I don’t have a job. I’m just some low life, she tolerates.
Maybe that’s what getting me so edgy. I know she’s a beautiful girl. Trust me, I notice! Then again.. Lots of guys notice. Guys that aren’t me. Guys like the head of the soccer team. Even guys like our school’s Vice President. And these guys, unlike me, having everything going for them. The dress ‘right’, they act ‘right’, they’re popular and smart. Just like Keiko. Not at all like me. Why does she stick with me? Aren’t those guys, the exact kind of guy she wants? I mean, she’s not ever just happy with me. Everything I do, seems to make her mad. Does she stay with me out of some sick form of pity? Is that what’s happening here?
I was so far gone in my thoughts, that I didn’t even notice that I’d blinded walked straight to Kuwabara’s favourite ice cream shop ‘The Big Scoop’. I look over at him, and he’s practically coming out of his skin and licking his lips. What tough guy gets so hot for ice cream? Ok… Maybe Hiei, but he’s another freakazoid, if you ask me. Kuwabara gets so excited over nothing. Maybe that’s why we hang out, he’s not hard to please.
He’s lucky Keiko drug me away from the arcade before I got the chance to spend my last five dollars, or he’d be out of luck.
He got the biggest damn ice cream thing they had there. What did they call it? Oh yeah ‘The Big Mama Hippidy Dippidy’. Mounds and mounds of ice cream and syrup, slammed with a volcano of whip cream and cherries, was what it really was. But no matter how good that might taste, there was no way in hell that I’d ever order that, having to say that name. Kuwabara on the other hand, has no shame and tells the cashier loud and clear “<Give me the perfect ‘Big Mama Hippidy Dippidy’! And no skimpping out either! I want it all!>“
Nope. He has no shame. His gleefulness kind of scared me, truth be told. I also didn’t care to be seen with him at that moment. I grabbed the scrunched up five dollar bill, from deep inside my back pocket, and shoved it in his hand, then turned heel and sat at a table, as far away as I could find. I sigh, how do I wind up with the people I’m friends with? They are nothing like me at all.
I keep frying my brain, trying to figure out how I’m going take care of this Christmas present for Keiko. What the hell do you get a girl? What do they want? Panties or something? I mean, I don’t know about this kind of thing. Keiko never talks about wanting anything to me. Or maybe.. It’s cuz she knows I’m so broke, that just figures it pointless to ask. Great. Now I really feel like an a$$.
I mean, come on! Doesn’t she know that if she really wants something, that all she’s got to do is ask? I find some way to get it for her. I mean, I can support her. I’m a guy after all! I can do it! Doesn’t she believe in me at all? How embarrassing to not see how useless she’s always thought I am. All she ever asks me for, is to go here or there with her. Kids stuff. Why doesn’t she ask me for what she really wants from me?!
I can do more then- *PAP* I get smacked right in the eye with something cold and hard. I rear back as my eye throbbing and watered. That really f&*king hurt! My hand flew protectively to my eye, as I was screaming "<What the f$*k!!>" I look over at Kuwabara, to see him grinning like a madman. I was gonna jump him for that, just beat him until he was unconscious but I hear rows and rows of obnoxious giggling from some nearby table. I look over and see a bunch of girls, that look like their from our school. They look like just the kind of girls that Keiko would hang out with. They’re pretty, and probably popular and book worms. What ever. So I’m reminded by them, that I’m in a very enclosed public place, and Kuwabara’s beating of a lifetime will just have to wait.
I zone right back out. Maybe I can find jewellery or something for Keiko? Would that work? Or maybe I should just get her- "<Hey red head! I'm talking to you!>" an annoying female voice cuts right through my thoughts. Can’t she see I’m deep in thought here? I look up to see what the problem was. You can’t begin to imagine my surprise to see one of those same airy giggle heads standing at the edge of my table. But she wasn’t talking to me, she was talking Kuwabara. "<Yeah. What do you want?>" he tells her, like he’s not surprised she was there.
I could tell he was nervous though. It didn’t look like he trusted this girl at all. That’s good. He shouldn’t. Those kind of girls are only trouble…
Kuwabara is looking over at me, like I’m suppose to dig him out of this, but I don’t know what he wants from me. It’s not like any of the girls from school come anywhere near me. It all goes back to the whole ‘I eat girls’ thing. He’s on his own for now.
"<It's not what I want.. it's want my friend over there wants.>" the girls presses. A rude little b**ch. I would have told her off by now, but Kuwabara’s just too much a sucker for girls and his damn honor code. He keeps trying to keep his nervousness under wraps but I see his eyes dart over to the girl that was the ‘friend’. It’s obvious he likes the way she looks. I look myself. Yeah, she’s a tight little number with her wide eyes and smooth lips. A real siren. That should be Kuwabara’s first warning she’s bad news. He never suspects the worse though, that’s always what gets him in trouble.
Still glancing the ‘friends’ way, he mutters at her "<So? What does SHE want?>" He was too nice about it, as far as I’m concerned. He should’ve told her to get the hell out of his face! "<Look her you imbecile! You better act right towards my friend. I don't know why she would even give someone like you.. a low life, a second look but whatever. I respect my friend.>" she injects with a nasty snake like tone.
That was it! Nobody calls Kuwabara an imbecile but me! Ok. Maybe Hiei does too, but that’s different. This girl had no right to crack on my friend. "<Hey! Watch it broad!>" I tell her, glaring daggers at her. I mean business. If she doesn’t back off, I don’t care whether or not she’s a girl. "<Don't worry about it Urameshi! I got it.>" Kuwabara tells me, coming to her rescue. She doesn’t deserve to be rescued, far as I’m concerned but he’ll rescue her anyway. That’s just the way he is. That’s why it makes me so mad when they make fun of him, it’s not like their better then him, their just too stupid to realize it.
I can tell though, that the girl recognizes my name. And she pipes her attitude down after that, so I just let it go. The girl wanted him to meet the ‘friend’ alone, when he bulked at the idea, she baited him. Of course he bit. It was a stupid idea, but I knew he’d go. He doesn’t say a word to me, just stands up, and struts out. God knows what he’s thinking but Man, is he dumb! I just starting laughing outright as he goes. This is definitely one of his dumber moments. He’s glares at me and I continue to laugh.
So he leaves me alone in that damn ice cream shop, at the table next to all those girls. I had to listen to them talking about his a$$ as he walked out. Like I really wanted to know! Hello! I’m still here! But they don’t seem to care that I hear them.
“< Oh my god! What do you see in him?>“ …..
“<He’s alone out there now. Go talk to him like you wanted to Michiko!>“…
“<He isn’t much to look at, but he does have a really hot a$$ and a nice walk!>“…
My eyes bulge! I just wasn’t hearing this about Kuwabara!
“<I just love the bad boys, don’t you?>“…
“<Do you really think I should go out there and talk to him? What if he doesn’t like me?>“…
“<Oh come on Michiko! Honestly! He wouldn’t say no to you!>“…
On and on they went. I just couldn’t block them out. I just wanted to rip my ears off. It was sad too, Kuwabara gets more action then I do…
This Michiko girl, finally makes up her fickle mind and wanders out there. But the twittering noise just doesn’t stop.
“<I still don’t know what she sees in that guy.>“…
“<I know. But she is our friend. We have to support her.>‘….
“<Oh, I don’t know. There’s something cuddly about him. I think he’s kind of cute to!>“…
“<You would. You and Michiko always fall for the bad boys.>“
“<That’s true Yukano, you do. Hey! Why don’t you go talk to the other one then? He’s still at the table and he’s all alone now!>“….
“<I don’t know. He seems really mean. What if he doesn’t like me? Besides… Isn’t he the one that likes to eat girls?>“…
*giggling* “<Maybe the rumours are confused Yukano.. Maybe he likes to ‘eat’… girls! he he he…>“
“<OH! I… that’s just…>“
OK! That was enough for me! I’ve heard enough! I’m not waiting on Kuwabara in her anymore with this sharks. He’s on his own. I’ll let him figure out how to tell them he’s infatuated with a demon female named Yukina. I’m not going to be his sacrificial lamb with her friends..
I stand up and feel all their eyes on me. Thankfully they go silent. Kami! My ears aren’t burning! Hallelujah! As I’m walking toward the door, I feel like a piece of meat. I have no doubt they’re checking out my a$$. Normally that wouldn’t bother me a bit, but I think I’ve heard too much. I head for the door quickly.
I shove open the door to hear “<Oh please. I’m not like the other girls. I can be exciting.>“ coming from this ‘Michiko’s’ mouth. I look over to see the palms of her hands dramatically over her heart, as she leans against Kuwabara’s chest, staring straight up into his eyes. Kuwabara, on the other hand, had his palms and body backed all the way against the wall, looking like a cornered animal. It was damn funny!
He looks up and notices me standing a few feet away from him, and is just begging with his eyes for me to save him. Hmmmm…. this situation sounds pretty god damn familiar… Oh yeah! That was me before with Keiko, he didn’t help me! He’s on his own! I smirk hard at him, giving him a mocking look of his own face, as I walk right by him and the girl clinging to him like fleas. He’s probably cursing my birth right now! HA!
“<Please Kuwabara, just come with me for a little while. We could go to the park or the beach or anywhere you like.>“ the girl continued, I could hear her water work tears starting already. He was a goner.. “<I.. I..>“ is all Kuwabara could manage as I got further and further out of earshot. Yukina or not, this girl has got him by the balls.
………………………………...................
…………………………….
………………
The girl was right. The park sounded like a great idea. That’s exactly where I headed. The park in the middle of downtown was huge and a great place to get lost for awhile. I wandered in aimlessly, oblivious to everyone and everything, as I racked my tired brain for a solution to the problem Kuwabara had created. That girl just screwed everything up, now I can’t make him fix this. Once again, I’m stuck dealing with everything on my own. Maybe I should just swipe something nice for her and forget about it?
No, that won’t work. If she finds out I stole it, she’ll probably make me tell her where it came from and give it back to them. She’s such a friggin’ goody two shoes! I mean, that is something I like about her, but it’s really annoying sometimes. So what now?
That’s when I nearly walked right into Hiei. He was lucky I was looking down at I walked, or I might not have saw his black boots and cloak. “<Hiei?>“ I inquired, though I obviously already knew it was him. And he knew that too, so he didn’t respond to the pointless question. You know, there were moments when I understood him perfectly…
Not saying a thing more, why bother to waste his time?, I walk on. He falls quietly into step with me. I guess he feels like my company today. That’s something new. Wonder what he wants? We get deeper into the part, where the trees are pretty thick, and I park myself on a metal bench. Hiei leans on the tree behind me. We stay like that for a little while. It was kind of nice to have his company at times, you know?
“<What’s the point of bothering with it at all detective?>“ Hiei inquires with a bland tone, that belies his obvious interest. “<What are you talking about?>“ I respond, not having a clue where that question came from or what it’s about. “<The girl Keiko. You keep going on and on about this “Christmas” and a gift. What IS the point?>“ Hiei elaborates.
I still look at him like he has three eyes.. I mean heads. What’s he talking about? I haven’t been talking to anyone about it. I… Oh. I get it now. He’s been scanning my thoughts. That’s kind of annoying actually. I had thought we were just walking together. It’s probably just as well though, I should probably talk about it. “<It’s just what I’m suppose to do. Aren’t you getting Yukina something?>“ I fire back, turning the tables.
“<What are you going on about? I don’t even see the point to this ningen holiday. Why would I bother with it?!>“ Hiei told me indignantly. But I could tell he was defensive. Good. I feel like picking a fight, Kuwabara style. “<Are you sure that’s wise, my friend? Yukina’s really getting into it. Won’t she be disappointed if you don’t get her something? Won’t she be… sad?>“ I raise an eyebrow dramatically at him. “<Hn>“ he humphs in my direction, I could just hear the wheels in his head turning as he fought with this.
Shoving my hands in my pockets once more, and smirking at my evil deed for the day, I go back to staring at the ground and wandering in. Much as I like to torment Hiei, it’s such fun, I have to work this ‘Keiko’ thing out. I’ve already wasted a lot of time and that dope Kuwabara just lite the fuse on that time bomb.
I only get a few feet away from the stewing Kooromie, when I crash into someone and knock them backwards. I am a brick wall after all! “<Hey you punk! Watch where you’re walking!>“ some guy next to the one I ran into growled. “<Shut up!>“ I snarl back. It was some old rich guy in a suit and his son. “<Don’t worry about it Shiguiki. It’s just some low life. What do you expect?>“ the old man arrogantly smarts.
I am so tired of that crap! This damn rich people have no clue how many times I’ve saved all their a$$ from disaster! He needs to shut up! And in a rash moment of anger, I swung and knocked the old man on his butt. His son lunged for me, and I laid him flat too! I don’t need their crap today. I glare at them, to see if they’ve got anything else to say, but it would seem I put the fear in them.
It’s disgusting pathetic, how weak they were and I just turn and head back to where Hiei is still stewing, and sit back down on the rusty bench. Hiei doesn’t say or word or make a comment. I guess I really put him in a state of indecision, much like I’m in. Irony is not dead after all!
So there we were, just like before, both just ‘there’. Man, but what I wouldn’t give to be able to read Hiei’s mind right now. I bet it would be pretty god damn funny to know his conflicting thoughts! Movement from the side catches my eye, and I turn my head to see that old rich guy and his son headed straight for me. And this time they had the police with them! “<Hey you! Over there! Don’t move!>“ the police man says, panting as he’s practically running for me. I turned to look at Hiei. Did he do something I don’t know about? Hiei looks at me with a non shocked look, shakes his head at my daftness, and disappears. It must be nice to be able to evade the cops that easily. “<Yes! That’s him officer! That’s the one that attacked and savagely beat us!>“ That’s just wonderful, those two dip wads came back. What a pain, at least it’s mine word against theirs. The cop comes bounding after me, his stick flailing. What’s he running for? I haven’t moved.
“<You there! Did you attack these men?>“ the police officer demands as he stands before me. “<Sure. After they ‘attacked’ me first. Just defending myself.>“ I say, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I don’t think I succeed. “<My father, the president of Honda Corporation, would never physically attack someone. You’re just a low->“ the ‘son’ carries on with a air of self importance. But just where he gets to the insultive fighting words, his father silences him. “<We would do no such thing. This boys violence is reprehensible. I should hope it would be obvious who’s telling the truth!>“ the old rich president finishes for his ‘son’. The police officer… yeah well.. I’m sure you can gather what happened next. Who do you think the guy was going to believe.
That’s right. It wasn’t Yuusuke Urameshi, high school punk and girl eater. I was hauled away and spent the night in jail. I was stupid enough to waste my one call, on trying to reach my mother. But she was out still partying her life away…
At least, I got some peace and quiet in there, to finish my thinking. That is. After I beat the life out of my cell mates. See, they aren’t rich, and they aren’t gonna talk…
------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -
^_^ That was fun! I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this chapter. But it ran on it’s own and I like it just fine!
But hey, that’s me, and I’m biased. What do you think?
*You look around to see ‘tails’ pinned everywhere, including Kurama’s hair*
*Yuusuke, Botan and Kuwabara look a little frightened and are backed against a wall*
*InLoveWithHiei, Jojo, InTheShadows & Ensatsukokuryuha are still giggling like mad and playing*
*Jojo is currently blindfolded with a deadly tail in her hand*
Jojo: Spin me girls! I’m gonna pin Kuwabaka this time! Oppss! I mean the donkey! What a minute! Is there a donkey?
InLoveWithHiei: *shrugs shoulders* dunno no! *spins Jojo and lets her go* *Kuwabara whines*
*Kurama steps I to save him, putting ‘the flower’ under Jojo’s noise*
*Jojo falls still and sits down calmly*
*the other girls pout*
*I’ve been sitting, this whole time, a few feet away from Hiei, just staring at him*
*Hiei looks annoyed but says nothing*
*Kurama grabs me and drags me up*
KURAMA: *said more calmly then he looks* You need to finish this.
ME: ?_?…. Uh… Finish what? I could stare forever at him. *Hiei hisses* *Kurama sighs*
KURAMA: I just don’t understand your infatuation with him. All he ever does is reject and torture you.
ME: *smiling brightly* I know! That means he cares! If he didn’t he wouldn’t even talk to me! *Hiei goes to get up and decapitate me* *Kurama quickly puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him and sighs harder*
KURAMA: -__-’’ Now Hiei. You know it isn’t nice to mess with the mentally disturbed. *Hiei hn’s* Now Blkwidow77, do you list! *is pushy and tired*
ME: What list? ?_?….. *thinks about it* ….. *thinks about it harder* …. Oh yeah! ^_^ My NEW list is “5 Ways To Have Fun With Chanting Christmas Songs!” Way Number 1#: *Ensatsukokuryuha groans loudly* … Go to a ‘Devil Worshippers’ Meeting and chant the song ‘Come all ye faithful’ and when they come… lead them off the cliff! ^_^
*nobody says anything*
*I pout*
*Kurama pushes me to continue*
ME: *sigh* -__-… Way Number 2: Go to a nice ‘Holiday Christmas Party’ where everyone is dressing fancy, black out your teeth, then stand in the middle of the room and sing really loud “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”…
INLOVEWITHHIEI: *looking confuzzled* But I do that anyway?
*Ensatsukokuryuha and Jojo sweat drop*
ME: *I say nothing, just back away* *Kurama pokes me* Hey! OwWW!! Fine! Way number 3: Dress in mourning clothes on Christmas morning, lock your grandma in her room, then come slowly out to the living room where everybody is waiting and sing slow and said “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”. Make sure to use a LOT of feeling! ^_^
INLOVEWITHHIEI: -__-’’’ *sigh* And again, what’s wrong with that? I do that too.
*InTheShadows looks worried and moves to the other side of the couch*
*I jump quickly away from Kurama before he can poke me again*
ME: *growling* I know! Continue! Way number four: Now you need to head to the nearest women’s prison, and you walk along the fence, singing soulfully “I’ll be home.. For Christmas.. You can count on me..” Just make sure you can run fast from the cops after! ^_^
*InLoveWithHiei sighs harder and curls up on the couch*
KEIKO: I don’t get it. Why would you want to do these things? How is this funny?
ME: 0-0’’ Ok… Well then. I’ll just finish this up. This is a tough crowd. And finally, Way Number 5: Take one of those sad looking dogs, like a bassist hound or something, and a table and make your way to the busiest part of town. Then set up the table and put the dog on it, and make sure he stays. (you will also need a onion to make fake tears, and make sure to wail this one) You hang up a Charity sign and donation bowl and name your dog ‘Chest’. You ring your hands, and walk back and forth wailing “The Christmas Song- Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”, as you claim to try to collect money for vet bills! *is cracking herself up*
INLOVEWITHHIEI: *cries as InTheShadows tries to comfort her* Why is everyone picking on me??? What’s so odd about doing this stuff?
HIEI: *rolls eyes* hn…. Bakas.
KURAMA: *sighs too* Please. Someone shoot me now. *suddenly looks up at all of you intensely* Hey! I can’t stress enough how important it is NOT to listen to this freak!
INLOVEWITHHIEI: Why Oh WHY?? *balls*
JOJO: *glares at Kurama* I think they’re great ideas! *stomps off, grabbing the nearest bassist hound and folded table*
INTHESHADOWS: *rolls eyes* Yeah, Kurama. You can be such a bore! *grabs mourning clothes and a padded lock for dear sweet ‘Grandma’*
ENSATSUKOKURYUHA: *raises eyebrows* You guys need a life. *shrugs shoulders and heads off, practice singing “I’ll be home.. For Christmas.. You can count on me..” *
*InLoveWithHiei continues to cry until I hand her a gorgeous Holiday Christmas Party dress and a black marker for her teeth*
ME: *smiling* Why don’t you go have some fun?! *InLoveWithHiei seems to brighten immediately and leaves*
YUUSUKE: 0-0 You really are sick. You know that?
*I shrug my shoulders and check the newspaper for the closest ‘Devil Worshippers’ meeting, before heading out*
*Kuwabara never got near us*
But now it’s my playtime… MWHAHSAHAHAHA
*random people are scattered around the room, including InLoveWithHiei and Jojo*
*a truly deranged picture is pinned to a wall*
KUWABARA: 0-0’’ What the hell is that? *gets closer and squints his eyes trying to figure it out*
ME: ^_^ It’s our game for today! It’s called ‘Pin The Tail On The Santa!’! he he… Perfect for Christmas, ne?
INLOVEWITHHIEI: *raises eyebrow* That doesn’t really look like Santa.
ME: *laughs* Course it does silly! *pats InLoveWithHiei’s head* It’s just that I inbred Santa with a Donkey!
*Jojo backs away*
YUUSUKE: Yeah… You have problems.
ME: *dancing* I go first! I go first! It’s my birthday!
KUWABARA: o-O It is?
ME: ^_^’’’ No. But it sounded like a go reason to go first, didn’t it?
*Kuwabara and Jojo anime fall*
*InLoveWithHiei smacks herself in the forehead and sighs hard*
YUUSUKE: You do that. *backs away as I pick up a blind fold*
*Jojo ties in on me*
*She ties it too hard*
ME: *teary* Ow!! That hurts! It’s pulling my hair!
JOJO: Oh Shut up you baby! *intentionally pokes me in the hand with the needle on the tail*
*I whine*
*InLoveWithHiei spins me around so hard I trip and fall flat on my face, almost impaling myself on the needle*
JOJO: *laughs* Now that’s entertainment!
*InLoveWithHiei giggles and salutes with her shovel*
*I stumble back up and dizzily try to remember the direction of the wall*
*I’m not doing so good, I hear a lot of laughter*
*I get frustrated and growl when all of the sudden, my foot hits something*
*I figure it must be the wall and I forcefully shove the needle of the tail in*
HIEI: O-O ….. OOOWWWW! *snarling and hissing* I’m going to kill you!
ME: o-o’’ Oh sh*t!
*I try to run, but I’m still blindfolded*
*InLoveWithHiei and Jojo are cracking up*
*I run right smack into a wall, head first*
*SMACK*
ME: …. X_X
HIEI: *rolls eyes, lowering the katana* hn… *sighs heavily*
------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------
“Cannibalism Just Isn’t My Thing”
Previously:
~~~~KUWABARA~~~~~
~~~~~She comes over to stand in front of me, her hair shifting softly in the breeze, as she looked down at her feet, her hands clasped together in front of her. She looked really uncomfortable. That made me really curious. What was going on? This kind of stuff never happens to me! What is she up to? This had better not be a trick! I open my eyes and look at her. "<Well?>" I say more gruffly then I mean to. "<I um... I just wanted to know...>" the girl stammered at me. My eyes went wide. Is she gonna say what I think she's gonna say? No way! "<I just... uh...>" the girls face turned absolutely beet red. I felt bad for her. I was making her uncomfortable. I smile at her softly, and turning on the charm, I grab her chin in-between my hand and pick her face up to look at me. "<Name's Kuwabara. What's yours?>" She continued to blush hard, but finally smiled back. Her eyes just glowed like topaz. Such a beautiful girl... "<I wanted to know.. If you wanted to go somewhere with me sometime...>" she finally spit out, her voice drifting off at the end and her eyes shifting away. WHAT? My eyes were large like the moon. The girl had asked me out? I... can't believe it!
But what am I suppose to say???? Now it's my turn to be extremely uncomfortable. What am I suppose to tell this girl? I'm in love with Yukina!~~~~~
_________________________________________________________
~~~~YUUSUKE~~~~
I can’t believe the way this day has gone. It hadn’t started out that way. It was just like every other day, and they all run together…
I had woken up late for school. That’s nothing new. I slunk into the kitchen to grab some orange juice to wake me up, and just like usual.. it was completely empty. There are times I wonder how I don’t starve. Guess I’m just tough like that. Sometimes I go over to Keiko’s house. They’ll always feed me. They love me to death. That I don’t understand at all. They’re nice people, why do they put up with a punk like me? Hell, if I were them, I wouldn’t let me around their daughter!
But whatever, that’s only when I’m up early enough. It’s obvious I wasn’t today. No breakfast. I look for my mom on the couch, to tell her to get her a$$ to the grocery store to get some food but she isn’t there. Looks like she hasn’t yet come home from her ‘party’ she went to last night. Typical….
I got half way to school, when I ran across some particularly annoying guy from my school. Some soccer jock I think. He has this idea in his head that he’s better then me, maybe he is, I don’t know. But what really gets me, is that he seems to think that he’s stronger than me too. Now that’s a joke! Clearly, he’s not too bright, or maybe he is, cuz he talks a whole hell of a lot, talking crap at school while he’s protected by teachers, but he never actually tries to fight me.
Anyway, it’s not like I care about that. That’s not what caught my eye. It was the guy’s lunch. He had this huge bag of food just hanging in his hand, begging me to take it. It was a black insulated preppy boy bag with some blue slash logo, but it was just straining with bumps of all the food stuffed inside. My stomach growled. Yep. Mom was right about one thing.. A way to a guys heart is through his stomach. And I was definitely in love!
I decided that me and the prep need to get more acquainted…
I had walked up to him. He was busy trying to get his ‘groove’ on with some girl. He had his back to me, so she saw me first. You could tell she recognized me from school, cuz she got the ‘oh s**t!’ look in her eyes. I’m not very popular with the girls at my school. Especially after someone spread a rumour that I eat them…
I raise a eyebrow at her, and throw her a devilish grin, letting my tongue flick out to lick my lips in a hungry way. She steps back, looking frightened. Guess she believes the rumours too. So ‘Mr. Jock’ finally stops looking at her boobs long enough to notice the girls spooked. He turns around to see what she’s looking at. His face is all scrunched up, angry like, probably cuz he didn’t want to be disturbed. But when he saw me, his face faltered and I saw a common sight.. fear. I almost laughed. He was in front of the girl though, and he was probably hoping to get some, so he covers it up as quick as he could. “<Well, look at my luck.>“ I toss at him.
He’s in a cocky mood. He smarts back “<Urameshi the punk. Planning to rob a bank before school, you piece of trash!>“ Oh yeah… Like that hurt. But if he wants to talk trash, I’m all for it. “<Hey buddy, Just because you got hit with the ugly stick, doesn’t mean you need to take it out on everybody else.>“ I tell him calm, my hands still in my pockets.
“<Toga?>“ comes the squeaky voice of the girl “<You’re not going to let him treat you that way, are you?>“ He was already smoking though, she just lite the fuse. He blew, charging at me “<You a$$hole! I’m gonna knock you into tomorrow!>“
Now. I could’ve dodged that fist of his pretty easy. That’s for sure. He moved like a turtle. But wouldn’t you know.. I actually felt bad about taking the guys food. Not that I had just yet, but I definitely was going to. So I let him hit me, get in a shot so he’d feel better, you know? That’s just the kind of giving guy I am.
He lands his punch square in my jaw. I never moved. It was sad, now that I think about it. I could tell he was hitting me with everything he had, but it just wasn’t crap. My head barely moved to the side, and I never blinked. Just pathetic.
He was grinning like mad, like he thought he had won, tell he saw me just turn my head back. I then stared at him dead on, and turned my neck sideways to crack it. “<That it?>“ I ask him politely. Figure I should check, just to be sure. I don’t want him thinking I cheated him or anything. He’s eyes got big. Yep. That’s all he had.
Now it was my turn. I had lunged at him and landed my own punch. That’s the bad part about fighting humans these days, I’m always having to hold back. I don’t want to kill them. It’s takes the fun out of everything but that’s just the way it is.
Even holding back, my punch directly to his face, sent him flying several feet back. Whoops! Guess I don’t know my own strength any longer. Too bad for him I guess. He doesn’t move though, it could be that he’s unconscious, I hope he’s not dead. I better check. I take a step towards him and his ‘girl’ goes from horrified to terror in 1.2 seconds flat. I look at her. What’s her deal? Like I’m gonna touch her. I could care less. I maybe hungry but I’m not THAT hungry.
She runs, leaving the guy as a sacrifice. Yeah, I can tell she was really into him. I laugh outloud. By the end of school today, I’m sure the other kids at school will call me the “greatest cannibal” on earth. Maybe I should get a t-shirt made.
My stomach growls again. My jokes will have to wait, I’ve got other things to take care of. Reaching down beside the soccer jock, I relieve him of his lunch. It won’t kill him to skip one meal. I’m sure HIS ‘mommy’ will have dinner for him when he gets home, so he can live without.
I got a few blocks away, to sit at the rusted bench under that twisted grey/brown old tree. That tree must be really old, but it’s still hanging on. Kinda reminds me of Genkai actually! I laugh, imagining how pissed off she’d be at that if she heard me. Maybe I’ll drop in on her later, it’s been awhile.
Cracking open the guys lunch, I see I really lucked out. It would seem that this guy could eat a bus for lunch! He had 7 huge rice balls with beans in the center, 2 bananas, 10 pieces of fresh sushi on rice, a container of miso soup, a insulator of orange juice AND a pomegranate. Holy crap! This guys eats this much every day? I’d be the stay puff marshmallow man right now, if that were me! Anyway, I’m going to be eating like a king! I gobbled up so fast, I got a stomach ache and almost chucked everywhere! The world a little woozy and greenish before my eyes. I laid down on the bench for equilibrium. Now that I was full, I wished that I had slowed down enough to actually taste this stuff. I haven’t been this full since the last time I crashed Keiko’s parents restaurant.
I licked my lips, tasting some of the pomegranate juice still there, it’s bitter sweet taste still good a second time around. I decide I can still fit some more food in this body, if there’s anything tasty left. I open the lunch bag and turn it upside down over my stomach and shake it. You can’t imagine how sad I was, that nothing more came out. Maybe I should have saved something for later but it’s too late now. I shook the bag once more in frustration and something flitted out. I caught it mid-air. It was $20!
What kind of great luck was that? I heard the clock chime loudly from its place in the center of the park, letting me know that it was 8:00 am. School had just started. Well, if I had meant to go to school before, I sure as hell wasn’t going now! I’m heading to the arcade!
I jump up quickly, and my stomach lurches in protest, I have to swallow back bile. Uh.. yeah. I’ll have to remember to eat more slowly next time….
I shoved the twenty in my back pocket and whistling, I head off for some fun…
The arcade had been great. Some of those games have been calling my name for awhile. I just didn’t have the money to answer.
But notice that I said it HAD been great. See, I lost track of time. Wasn’t paying any attention at all. I never saw the shadow of Keiko loom larger then life behind me… till it was too late to save myself.
And I still had five dollars left to play with too..
It would seem, or so I could guess from all her raging and screaming, that I had promised her I’d go shopping with her. Trying to remember agreeing to something so stupid, I was having a hard time. When had I said that?
Then I had looked down at that perky little chest of hers… And it hit me! Well, she hit me too, but I meant the memory. It was this exact same chest I had been looking at last night, when I walked her home. And when we got to her parent’s place, she had asked me if I’d go shopping with her the next day. Sad part was, I wasn’t really listening, she could have asked me if I have three legs and I would’ve said yes to that question too. I was very busy admiring a nice piece of…
Yeah well. You get the idea. So here I was, in the arcade, having a great day and Keiko comes to ruin it. It wasn’t fair, I tell you! Those things on chicks should be a lethal weapon! A deal breaker! What poor guy can resist? Guys should be able to walk into court and plead innocence. I could just picture it…
~~~Yuusuke’s Courtroom Fantasy~~~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------< br />
JUDGE: *sounding stern* You have been charged with First Degree Murder. How do you plead?
YUUSUKE: *serious* Innocent Your Honor!
JUDGE: *raising an eyebrow* On what bases, do you make this claim? *very sceptical*
YUUSUKE: *in precautionary handcuffs, and you hear them -plink- against the defence table as he shifts* I was hypnotize your Honor! By Keiko Yukimora’s boobs! I didn’t stand a chance!
*you hear the judge and preliminary jury gasp audibly*
JUDGE: *wide eyed* No! That would be the eighth case this week! *speaking to the court officers* Bring in Ms. Yukimora!
*Keiko is dragged in, in handcuffs. She’s wearing a low cut fire engine red top and a short navy blue school uniforn skirt. Her face is passive and haughty, like she doesn’t believe she be convicted.*
*She is brought before the judge. She even glace at Yuusuke as she is brought past him. But maybe it‘s better that way, as there‘s a bucket of drool on the floor*
JUDGE: *solemn* How do you plead to the charges of malicious intent to control a male, for the intent of committing first degree murder, Ms. Yukimora? *leans forward for a better look* *shame shame!*
KEIKO: *flitting her hair dramatically to the side and pouting out her lower lip seductively* Not guilty.. *pout pout* *she leans in, so he can get a peek* I’ve been framed! *lets a tear escape*
*Yuusuke continues to drool heavily*
JUDGE: *still staring* *is poked by nearby cop* Oh! Yes, right! Oh my! You ARE good Ms. Yukimore! Please have a seat. *he watches her rear, as she walks to her seat*
KEIKO: *smirking* You’re going down drool boy! *speaking to Yuusuke, even as she flirts*
JUDGE: *ahem* I am ready to make my determination! Yuusuke I find you to be innocent on the grounds that you were INDEED hypnotized by Ms. Yukimora’s wonderful little… *ahem* Ms. Yukimora! I find you guilt of malicious intent of First Degree Murder, and hereby sentence you to 3 hours of jail time! *Whack goes his mallet in finality*
*the crowd is in an uproar, and news people rush in*
*Keiko gasps and screams obscenities*
*Yuusuke walks up to her and pats her butt*
*She tries to swing but is still handcuffs*
YUUSUKE: *smiling* Don’t worry! I’ll help you blow that Popsicle stand! I won’t let you get old in there baby!
KEIKO: *hissing* Oh Shut up Yuusuke! *is drug away*
------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------
I snapped out of my sexy daydream, to disappointment. Keiko was not wearing the hot little low cut top and I was no longer at the arcade. She had drug me several blocks, to the first of many hellish stores she wanted to shop at. She kept asking me the stupidest questions about whether this person would like that color. Or whether this seemed old fashioned. Or whether or not shoes were meant to be made of this or that material. LIKE I CARE!
It was a living hell…
That’s why, when I saw Kuwabara miraculously appear across the street, looking in Christmas window displays.. I saw my chance!
Bold as brass, I grabbed Keiko’s hand, that lay unsuspecting at her side as she looked at a dress in the window, and begun to pull her across the street. I suppose I should have checked for cars, but I was just too focused for that. They will have to look out for us!
“<Yuusuke?>“ Keiko said, at first nothing more then startled. But I didn’t look back or respond to her hapless question, and it was at this point that she begun to resist me. So maybe not responding to her was a bad idea…
I quickly strain all my attention forward at Kuwabara, willing him to look my way, as I drug Keiko, bucking like a mule. He doesn’t look. Stubborn fool! He’s probably ignoring me on purpose, hoping I’ll go away! Well… I won’t! “<Oi! Kuwabara!>“ I shouted after him, as loudly as possible from the middle of the road, and waving hard for good measure. Yukina turns to look at us, too. Perfect.
He turned in horrified slow motion, to look at me. Yep, I was right. He was hoping I would go away. That’s just too damn bad though! I keep marching forward, as the cars shriek to a halt around us. "<Yuusuke! Stop it! You're hurting me! Let go already!>" Keiko snarls, a little to close for comfort. Thank Kami we reached the sidewalk and I pulled her safely on it. She didn’t look as appreciative as I’d hoped.
I turn my back on her for the moment, to speak to Kuwabara, hoping he’ll help me out here, when I get the sensation to duck. I move swiftly to the side, to feel Keiko’s open palm whiz right by my ear! I immediately stuck my finger in my ear to remove the irritating sensation, before swiftly turning towards Keiko, figuring I’d better not leave her unattended just yet.
I turn on the charm… "<Now Keiko, when did you go getting so violent on me?>" I say light hearted and flashed her a smile. And just to seal the deal, I winked at her in a way that says ‘I know you love me’. She holds that angry look for a moment, before it melts away. ‘Oh yeah baby!’ I laugh to myself ‘You know you can’t resist the Urameshi Love-a-nator!’ Though it’s probably best I don’t say it out loud.
Before she gets a chance to turn me to mince meat, I turn to Kuwabara, hoping to get him to roll for me, with just my eyes. I don’t want to say anything to alert Keiko of what I’m up to. I just got her calmed down, after all. But it looks like Kuwabara’s got some grudge going on with me at the moment, his face all twisted up with ugly thoughts. How the hell knows what it’s for this time. But I wish he could hold off till later. Particularly with the crowd that seemed to be gathering around us. I don’t know what was so fascinating about us, but they need to move on. Unless… of course, they want to cough up some dough for the entertainment!
Oh well. I’d better turn up the heat, by turning the tables on him. "<Kuwabara! I'm glad I finally found you! You ditched me today!>" I said, figuring that would be enough to put him on the spot. I found out though, that that wasn’t that great of an idea either. I seem to be striking out all over the place today. I’d clearly hit a sore spot by the way he’d narrowed his eyes and was hissing between his teeth. Or maybe it was that his hands were in fists and twitching. I don’t know, that was just the impression that I got. I suppose I could be wrong?
He glared at me something nasty. What the hell did I ever do to him? I haven’t even been around all day! I try again, with another flash of my trade mark smile "<psst! Help me out here!>" I even wink for good measure. No good though. That really seems to blow his stack and his face gets all red and splotchy and he snaps "<Why should I when you're the one to->"
Uh Oh. I better cut him off before he really gets going! I lean into him buddy-buddy like and go "<Oh come on!>" No response, just a really stiff straight body. I press bravely on, switching to out and out bribery "<I'll buy you a Sundae if you help out of->"
I see him hesitate and I know I have him now! That is.. Till Keiko’s voice booms behind me "<Yuusuke! Are you trying to ditch me?>" I scrunch up my shoulders, wishing to cover my ears, as she steps up behind me. Great. Now I can’t whisper anymore. That really shoots my efforts of male secrecy and bonding all to hell. ‘Why not just suck the soul straight out of me, why don’t you?’ I hiss bitterly to myself.
This just sucks all the more, by the minute….
The train wreak has arrived. "<You PROMISED me you'd help me Christmas shop for a couple hours Yuusuke! I had to hunt you down where you were hiding after school, just to get you to come like you said!>" Keiko said, growing angrier by the word. What does she want with me? I don’t know how I even got suckered into this, to begin with. Is she really surprised I’ve become a desperate madman on the run??
"<But Keiko, I was right in the middle of winning->" I whined at her pathetically. I thought that might work. It’s always possible she’d understand, right? Nope. Not at all. Actually, that really seemed to add fuel to the fire. "<And! You made me so embarrassed, having to practically cause a scene to get you to leave that damn arcade you're always in!>" she was pretty much shouting loud enough for the whole block to hear. Damn female. She’s always so difficult. Then she wonders why I run!
Then, just as I was looking for another escape route, as Kuwabara refused to be of any help… "<Keiko.. Um...>" came the small voice of Hiei’s sister Yukina. Got to love that girl. She makes it looks so easy, as she smoothes everything over with just the sound of her voice. "<If you don't mind. I'd love to go shopping with you. It sounds like fun.>" Yukina continued, when she saw she had Keiko’s full attention. Wow! I could kiss that girl! Cept… course, that would just start my problems all over again, now wouldn’t it?
Kuwabara looked like I had just socked all the air from his lungs, like he just deflated. Apparently this didn’t work for him. He WANTED to shop with Yukina. Sometimes I really wonder about him. But I held my breath waiting..
I had been waiting for Keiko’s response, but it was Kuwabara that spoke first. That was a bit of a shock of the unexpected.. "<Hey Keiko! Urameshi's right. We did have something we were suppose to do today. I didn't want to spoil the surprise but... He asked me to help him find you a Christmas present. Told me he didn't have a clue what to get such a beautiful girl like you.>" Kuwabara told Keiko in one of his rare ‘cool’ moments.
My jaw hit the floor.
What the hell was he doing?? I don’t need this pressure. Not from him. This was below the belt! EVERY guy knows that you never let a girl get her hopes up. It’s just bad policy. What if you can’t meet their expectations? And let’s face it. Us poor guys are rarely able to meet a girl’s expectations of us. That’s just the way it is. Girls want too much, and we just don’t have it. We do what we can.
And here was Kuwabara, breaking all the rules. And sure enough, I saw Keiko’s beautifully colored face go pure red with embarrassment AND pleasant surprise. This was really bad. "<I.. well... Sorry, I didn't know. I->" she stumbled along. I’m sure her mind with just racing with possibilities. I sigh. How am I gonna get out of this one?
I see Kuwabara lean into Keiko, and my eyes narrow. I get a really bad feeling in my stomach, then… "<Don't worry Keiko. I'll make sure he gets you something really pretty!>" Kuwabara whispers to her, knowing full well that I can still hear him clear as day. She turns even more red. He’s sealed the deal, and I’m gonna kill him! I stare him down, with a predatory look and I’m sure he gets my meaning.
I’m so angry I can’t even speak. This is betrayal! This isn’t forgivable! Before I can do or say anything I’ll probably regret later, I turn and walk off. I don’t even trust myself to say goodbye to Keiko and Yukina, I’m that upset. I get half a block away and that moron still hasn’t caught up. It’s not that I want him around me now after what he did, but he’s gonna figure out how to undo the damage he’s just done, NOT ME!
I turn back around swiftly, my hands tucked hard into my pockets to keep from shooting him with my spirit gun and I snap "<You coming or what?>" He grins at me, like he hasn’t done anything, but turns around to give a forlorn look at Yukina. Yukina, however, isn’t even paying attention to him anymore, as she chatters away with Keiko. Both girls have entirely forgotten us.
Good. I hope Kuwabara suffers…
……………………………….............
………………………
Once he had managed to peel himself away from Yukina and caught up with me, I had wasted no time in snarling "<You just had to do that, didn't you?>" But all he told me for a excuse, was what I knew already.. He was angry about me disturbing him with Yukina. That was no excuse. This was a serious offence.
But angry as I was, I just couldn’t seem to get myself to do much of anything at the moment. It’s really drug me down, this realization that I gotta get Keiko something special for Christmas. I’m sure I really sound like an a$$, like I don’t care about her. But I do. I care about her a lot. It’s not that I wasn’t even thinking that I shouldn’t get her something nice.
I guess I really having been thinking to much about it at all. I just keep pushing back, like I’ll have more time to deal with it later. I’ve been doing that for weeks now. But here it is, 9 days till Christmas and I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do about this ‘present’. I don’t have money. I don’t have a job. I’m just some low life, she tolerates.
Maybe that’s what getting me so edgy. I know she’s a beautiful girl. Trust me, I notice! Then again.. Lots of guys notice. Guys that aren’t me. Guys like the head of the soccer team. Even guys like our school’s Vice President. And these guys, unlike me, having everything going for them. The dress ‘right’, they act ‘right’, they’re popular and smart. Just like Keiko. Not at all like me. Why does she stick with me? Aren’t those guys, the exact kind of guy she wants? I mean, she’s not ever just happy with me. Everything I do, seems to make her mad. Does she stay with me out of some sick form of pity? Is that what’s happening here?
I was so far gone in my thoughts, that I didn’t even notice that I’d blinded walked straight to Kuwabara’s favourite ice cream shop ‘The Big Scoop’. I look over at him, and he’s practically coming out of his skin and licking his lips. What tough guy gets so hot for ice cream? Ok… Maybe Hiei, but he’s another freakazoid, if you ask me. Kuwabara gets so excited over nothing. Maybe that’s why we hang out, he’s not hard to please.
He’s lucky Keiko drug me away from the arcade before I got the chance to spend my last five dollars, or he’d be out of luck.
He got the biggest damn ice cream thing they had there. What did they call it? Oh yeah ‘The Big Mama Hippidy Dippidy’. Mounds and mounds of ice cream and syrup, slammed with a volcano of whip cream and cherries, was what it really was. But no matter how good that might taste, there was no way in hell that I’d ever order that, having to say that name. Kuwabara on the other hand, has no shame and tells the cashier loud and clear “<Give me the perfect ‘Big Mama Hippidy Dippidy’! And no skimpping out either! I want it all!>“
Nope. He has no shame. His gleefulness kind of scared me, truth be told. I also didn’t care to be seen with him at that moment. I grabbed the scrunched up five dollar bill, from deep inside my back pocket, and shoved it in his hand, then turned heel and sat at a table, as far away as I could find. I sigh, how do I wind up with the people I’m friends with? They are nothing like me at all.
I keep frying my brain, trying to figure out how I’m going take care of this Christmas present for Keiko. What the hell do you get a girl? What do they want? Panties or something? I mean, I don’t know about this kind of thing. Keiko never talks about wanting anything to me. Or maybe.. It’s cuz she knows I’m so broke, that just figures it pointless to ask. Great. Now I really feel like an a$$.
I mean, come on! Doesn’t she know that if she really wants something, that all she’s got to do is ask? I find some way to get it for her. I mean, I can support her. I’m a guy after all! I can do it! Doesn’t she believe in me at all? How embarrassing to not see how useless she’s always thought I am. All she ever asks me for, is to go here or there with her. Kids stuff. Why doesn’t she ask me for what she really wants from me?!
I can do more then- *PAP* I get smacked right in the eye with something cold and hard. I rear back as my eye throbbing and watered. That really f&*king hurt! My hand flew protectively to my eye, as I was screaming "<What the f$*k!!>" I look over at Kuwabara, to see him grinning like a madman. I was gonna jump him for that, just beat him until he was unconscious but I hear rows and rows of obnoxious giggling from some nearby table. I look over and see a bunch of girls, that look like their from our school. They look like just the kind of girls that Keiko would hang out with. They’re pretty, and probably popular and book worms. What ever. So I’m reminded by them, that I’m in a very enclosed public place, and Kuwabara’s beating of a lifetime will just have to wait.
I zone right back out. Maybe I can find jewellery or something for Keiko? Would that work? Or maybe I should just get her- "<Hey red head! I'm talking to you!>" an annoying female voice cuts right through my thoughts. Can’t she see I’m deep in thought here? I look up to see what the problem was. You can’t begin to imagine my surprise to see one of those same airy giggle heads standing at the edge of my table. But she wasn’t talking to me, she was talking Kuwabara. "<Yeah. What do you want?>" he tells her, like he’s not surprised she was there.
I could tell he was nervous though. It didn’t look like he trusted this girl at all. That’s good. He shouldn’t. Those kind of girls are only trouble…
Kuwabara is looking over at me, like I’m suppose to dig him out of this, but I don’t know what he wants from me. It’s not like any of the girls from school come anywhere near me. It all goes back to the whole ‘I eat girls’ thing. He’s on his own for now.
"<It's not what I want.. it's want my friend over there wants.>" the girls presses. A rude little b**ch. I would have told her off by now, but Kuwabara’s just too much a sucker for girls and his damn honor code. He keeps trying to keep his nervousness under wraps but I see his eyes dart over to the girl that was the ‘friend’. It’s obvious he likes the way she looks. I look myself. Yeah, she’s a tight little number with her wide eyes and smooth lips. A real siren. That should be Kuwabara’s first warning she’s bad news. He never suspects the worse though, that’s always what gets him in trouble.
Still glancing the ‘friends’ way, he mutters at her "<So? What does SHE want?>" He was too nice about it, as far as I’m concerned. He should’ve told her to get the hell out of his face! "<Look her you imbecile! You better act right towards my friend. I don't know why she would even give someone like you.. a low life, a second look but whatever. I respect my friend.>" she injects with a nasty snake like tone.
That was it! Nobody calls Kuwabara an imbecile but me! Ok. Maybe Hiei does too, but that’s different. This girl had no right to crack on my friend. "<Hey! Watch it broad!>" I tell her, glaring daggers at her. I mean business. If she doesn’t back off, I don’t care whether or not she’s a girl. "<Don't worry about it Urameshi! I got it.>" Kuwabara tells me, coming to her rescue. She doesn’t deserve to be rescued, far as I’m concerned but he’ll rescue her anyway. That’s just the way he is. That’s why it makes me so mad when they make fun of him, it’s not like their better then him, their just too stupid to realize it.
I can tell though, that the girl recognizes my name. And she pipes her attitude down after that, so I just let it go. The girl wanted him to meet the ‘friend’ alone, when he bulked at the idea, she baited him. Of course he bit. It was a stupid idea, but I knew he’d go. He doesn’t say a word to me, just stands up, and struts out. God knows what he’s thinking but Man, is he dumb! I just starting laughing outright as he goes. This is definitely one of his dumber moments. He’s glares at me and I continue to laugh.
So he leaves me alone in that damn ice cream shop, at the table next to all those girls. I had to listen to them talking about his a$$ as he walked out. Like I really wanted to know! Hello! I’m still here! But they don’t seem to care that I hear them.
“< Oh my god! What do you see in him?>“ …..
“<He’s alone out there now. Go talk to him like you wanted to Michiko!>“…
“<He isn’t much to look at, but he does have a really hot a$$ and a nice walk!>“…
My eyes bulge! I just wasn’t hearing this about Kuwabara!
“<I just love the bad boys, don’t you?>“…
“<Do you really think I should go out there and talk to him? What if he doesn’t like me?>“…
“<Oh come on Michiko! Honestly! He wouldn’t say no to you!>“…
On and on they went. I just couldn’t block them out. I just wanted to rip my ears off. It was sad too, Kuwabara gets more action then I do…
This Michiko girl, finally makes up her fickle mind and wanders out there. But the twittering noise just doesn’t stop.
“<I still don’t know what she sees in that guy.>“…
“<I know. But she is our friend. We have to support her.>‘….
“<Oh, I don’t know. There’s something cuddly about him. I think he’s kind of cute to!>“…
“<You would. You and Michiko always fall for the bad boys.>“
“<That’s true Yukano, you do. Hey! Why don’t you go talk to the other one then? He’s still at the table and he’s all alone now!>“….
“<I don’t know. He seems really mean. What if he doesn’t like me? Besides… Isn’t he the one that likes to eat girls?>“…
*giggling* “<Maybe the rumours are confused Yukano.. Maybe he likes to ‘eat’… girls! he he he…>“
“<OH! I… that’s just…>“
OK! That was enough for me! I’ve heard enough! I’m not waiting on Kuwabara in her anymore with this sharks. He’s on his own. I’ll let him figure out how to tell them he’s infatuated with a demon female named Yukina. I’m not going to be his sacrificial lamb with her friends..
I stand up and feel all their eyes on me. Thankfully they go silent. Kami! My ears aren’t burning! Hallelujah! As I’m walking toward the door, I feel like a piece of meat. I have no doubt they’re checking out my a$$. Normally that wouldn’t bother me a bit, but I think I’ve heard too much. I head for the door quickly.
I shove open the door to hear “<Oh please. I’m not like the other girls. I can be exciting.>“ coming from this ‘Michiko’s’ mouth. I look over to see the palms of her hands dramatically over her heart, as she leans against Kuwabara’s chest, staring straight up into his eyes. Kuwabara, on the other hand, had his palms and body backed all the way against the wall, looking like a cornered animal. It was damn funny!
He looks up and notices me standing a few feet away from him, and is just begging with his eyes for me to save him. Hmmmm…. this situation sounds pretty god damn familiar… Oh yeah! That was me before with Keiko, he didn’t help me! He’s on his own! I smirk hard at him, giving him a mocking look of his own face, as I walk right by him and the girl clinging to him like fleas. He’s probably cursing my birth right now! HA!
“<Please Kuwabara, just come with me for a little while. We could go to the park or the beach or anywhere you like.>“ the girl continued, I could hear her water work tears starting already. He was a goner.. “<I.. I..>“ is all Kuwabara could manage as I got further and further out of earshot. Yukina or not, this girl has got him by the balls.
………………………………...................
…………………………….
………………
The girl was right. The park sounded like a great idea. That’s exactly where I headed. The park in the middle of downtown was huge and a great place to get lost for awhile. I wandered in aimlessly, oblivious to everyone and everything, as I racked my tired brain for a solution to the problem Kuwabara had created. That girl just screwed everything up, now I can’t make him fix this. Once again, I’m stuck dealing with everything on my own. Maybe I should just swipe something nice for her and forget about it?
No, that won’t work. If she finds out I stole it, she’ll probably make me tell her where it came from and give it back to them. She’s such a friggin’ goody two shoes! I mean, that is something I like about her, but it’s really annoying sometimes. So what now?
That’s when I nearly walked right into Hiei. He was lucky I was looking down at I walked, or I might not have saw his black boots and cloak. “<Hiei?>“ I inquired, though I obviously already knew it was him. And he knew that too, so he didn’t respond to the pointless question. You know, there were moments when I understood him perfectly…
Not saying a thing more, why bother to waste his time?, I walk on. He falls quietly into step with me. I guess he feels like my company today. That’s something new. Wonder what he wants? We get deeper into the part, where the trees are pretty thick, and I park myself on a metal bench. Hiei leans on the tree behind me. We stay like that for a little while. It was kind of nice to have his company at times, you know?
“<What’s the point of bothering with it at all detective?>“ Hiei inquires with a bland tone, that belies his obvious interest. “<What are you talking about?>“ I respond, not having a clue where that question came from or what it’s about. “<The girl Keiko. You keep going on and on about this “Christmas” and a gift. What IS the point?>“ Hiei elaborates.
I still look at him like he has three eyes.. I mean heads. What’s he talking about? I haven’t been talking to anyone about it. I… Oh. I get it now. He’s been scanning my thoughts. That’s kind of annoying actually. I had thought we were just walking together. It’s probably just as well though, I should probably talk about it. “<It’s just what I’m suppose to do. Aren’t you getting Yukina something?>“ I fire back, turning the tables.
“<What are you going on about? I don’t even see the point to this ningen holiday. Why would I bother with it?!>“ Hiei told me indignantly. But I could tell he was defensive. Good. I feel like picking a fight, Kuwabara style. “<Are you sure that’s wise, my friend? Yukina’s really getting into it. Won’t she be disappointed if you don’t get her something? Won’t she be… sad?>“ I raise an eyebrow dramatically at him. “<Hn>“ he humphs in my direction, I could just hear the wheels in his head turning as he fought with this.
Shoving my hands in my pockets once more, and smirking at my evil deed for the day, I go back to staring at the ground and wandering in. Much as I like to torment Hiei, it’s such fun, I have to work this ‘Keiko’ thing out. I’ve already wasted a lot of time and that dope Kuwabara just lite the fuse on that time bomb.
I only get a few feet away from the stewing Kooromie, when I crash into someone and knock them backwards. I am a brick wall after all! “<Hey you punk! Watch where you’re walking!>“ some guy next to the one I ran into growled. “<Shut up!>“ I snarl back. It was some old rich guy in a suit and his son. “<Don’t worry about it Shiguiki. It’s just some low life. What do you expect?>“ the old man arrogantly smarts.
I am so tired of that crap! This damn rich people have no clue how many times I’ve saved all their a$$ from disaster! He needs to shut up! And in a rash moment of anger, I swung and knocked the old man on his butt. His son lunged for me, and I laid him flat too! I don’t need their crap today. I glare at them, to see if they’ve got anything else to say, but it would seem I put the fear in them.
It’s disgusting pathetic, how weak they were and I just turn and head back to where Hiei is still stewing, and sit back down on the rusty bench. Hiei doesn’t say or word or make a comment. I guess I really put him in a state of indecision, much like I’m in. Irony is not dead after all!
So there we were, just like before, both just ‘there’. Man, but what I wouldn’t give to be able to read Hiei’s mind right now. I bet it would be pretty god damn funny to know his conflicting thoughts! Movement from the side catches my eye, and I turn my head to see that old rich guy and his son headed straight for me. And this time they had the police with them! “<Hey you! Over there! Don’t move!>“ the police man says, panting as he’s practically running for me. I turned to look at Hiei. Did he do something I don’t know about? Hiei looks at me with a non shocked look, shakes his head at my daftness, and disappears. It must be nice to be able to evade the cops that easily. “<Yes! That’s him officer! That’s the one that attacked and savagely beat us!>“ That’s just wonderful, those two dip wads came back. What a pain, at least it’s mine word against theirs. The cop comes bounding after me, his stick flailing. What’s he running for? I haven’t moved.
“<You there! Did you attack these men?>“ the police officer demands as he stands before me. “<Sure. After they ‘attacked’ me first. Just defending myself.>“ I say, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I don’t think I succeed. “<My father, the president of Honda Corporation, would never physically attack someone. You’re just a low->“ the ‘son’ carries on with a air of self importance. But just where he gets to the insultive fighting words, his father silences him. “<We would do no such thing. This boys violence is reprehensible. I should hope it would be obvious who’s telling the truth!>“ the old rich president finishes for his ‘son’. The police officer… yeah well.. I’m sure you can gather what happened next. Who do you think the guy was going to believe.
That’s right. It wasn’t Yuusuke Urameshi, high school punk and girl eater. I was hauled away and spent the night in jail. I was stupid enough to waste my one call, on trying to reach my mother. But she was out still partying her life away…
At least, I got some peace and quiet in there, to finish my thinking. That is. After I beat the life out of my cell mates. See, they aren’t rich, and they aren’t gonna talk…
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^_^ That was fun! I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this chapter. But it ran on it’s own and I like it just fine!
But hey, that’s me, and I’m biased. What do you think?
*You look around to see ‘tails’ pinned everywhere, including Kurama’s hair*
*Yuusuke, Botan and Kuwabara look a little frightened and are backed against a wall*
*InLoveWithHiei, Jojo, InTheShadows & Ensatsukokuryuha are still giggling like mad and playing*
*Jojo is currently blindfolded with a deadly tail in her hand*
Jojo: Spin me girls! I’m gonna pin Kuwabaka this time! Oppss! I mean the donkey! What a minute! Is there a donkey?
InLoveWithHiei: *shrugs shoulders* dunno no! *spins Jojo and lets her go* *Kuwabara whines*
*Kurama steps I to save him, putting ‘the flower’ under Jojo’s noise*
*Jojo falls still and sits down calmly*
*the other girls pout*
*I’ve been sitting, this whole time, a few feet away from Hiei, just staring at him*
*Hiei looks annoyed but says nothing*
*Kurama grabs me and drags me up*
KURAMA: *said more calmly then he looks* You need to finish this.
ME: ?_?…. Uh… Finish what? I could stare forever at him. *Hiei hisses* *Kurama sighs*
KURAMA: I just don’t understand your infatuation with him. All he ever does is reject and torture you.
ME: *smiling brightly* I know! That means he cares! If he didn’t he wouldn’t even talk to me! *Hiei goes to get up and decapitate me* *Kurama quickly puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him and sighs harder*
KURAMA: -__-’’ Now Hiei. You know it isn’t nice to mess with the mentally disturbed. *Hiei hn’s* Now Blkwidow77, do you list! *is pushy and tired*
ME: What list? ?_?….. *thinks about it* ….. *thinks about it harder* …. Oh yeah! ^_^ My NEW list is “5 Ways To Have Fun With Chanting Christmas Songs!” Way Number 1#: *Ensatsukokuryuha groans loudly* … Go to a ‘Devil Worshippers’ Meeting and chant the song ‘Come all ye faithful’ and when they come… lead them off the cliff! ^_^
*nobody says anything*
*I pout*
*Kurama pushes me to continue*
ME: *sigh* -__-… Way Number 2: Go to a nice ‘Holiday Christmas Party’ where everyone is dressing fancy, black out your teeth, then stand in the middle of the room and sing really loud “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”…
INLOVEWITHHIEI: *looking confuzzled* But I do that anyway?
*Ensatsukokuryuha and Jojo sweat drop*
ME: *I say nothing, just back away* *Kurama pokes me* Hey! OwWW!! Fine! Way number 3: Dress in mourning clothes on Christmas morning, lock your grandma in her room, then come slowly out to the living room where everybody is waiting and sing slow and said “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”. Make sure to use a LOT of feeling! ^_^
INLOVEWITHHIEI: -__-’’’ *sigh* And again, what’s wrong with that? I do that too.
*InTheShadows looks worried and moves to the other side of the couch*
*I jump quickly away from Kurama before he can poke me again*
ME: *growling* I know! Continue! Way number four: Now you need to head to the nearest women’s prison, and you walk along the fence, singing soulfully “I’ll be home.. For Christmas.. You can count on me..” Just make sure you can run fast from the cops after! ^_^
*InLoveWithHiei sighs harder and curls up on the couch*
KEIKO: I don’t get it. Why would you want to do these things? How is this funny?
ME: 0-0’’ Ok… Well then. I’ll just finish this up. This is a tough crowd. And finally, Way Number 5: Take one of those sad looking dogs, like a bassist hound or something, and a table and make your way to the busiest part of town. Then set up the table and put the dog on it, and make sure he stays. (you will also need a onion to make fake tears, and make sure to wail this one) You hang up a Charity sign and donation bowl and name your dog ‘Chest’. You ring your hands, and walk back and forth wailing “The Christmas Song- Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”, as you claim to try to collect money for vet bills! *is cracking herself up*
INLOVEWITHHIEI: *cries as InTheShadows tries to comfort her* Why is everyone picking on me??? What’s so odd about doing this stuff?
HIEI: *rolls eyes* hn…. Bakas.
KURAMA: *sighs too* Please. Someone shoot me now. *suddenly looks up at all of you intensely* Hey! I can’t stress enough how important it is NOT to listen to this freak!
INLOVEWITHHIEI: Why Oh WHY?? *balls*
JOJO: *glares at Kurama* I think they’re great ideas! *stomps off, grabbing the nearest bassist hound and folded table*
INTHESHADOWS: *rolls eyes* Yeah, Kurama. You can be such a bore! *grabs mourning clothes and a padded lock for dear sweet ‘Grandma’*
ENSATSUKOKURYUHA: *raises eyebrows* You guys need a life. *shrugs shoulders and heads off, practice singing “I’ll be home.. For Christmas.. You can count on me..” *
*InLoveWithHiei continues to cry until I hand her a gorgeous Holiday Christmas Party dress and a black marker for her teeth*
ME: *smiling* Why don’t you go have some fun?! *InLoveWithHiei seems to brighten immediately and leaves*
YUUSUKE: 0-0 You really are sick. You know that?
*I shrug my shoulders and check the newspaper for the closest ‘Devil Worshippers’ meeting, before heading out*
*Kuwabara never got near us*