Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Tossed and Found: REVERSED! ❯ Chapter 8: Dinner Time With The Demons ( Chapter 8 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Sagi-chan 
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.06.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 329 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.06.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 329 | Status: Completed
Title: Tossed and Found: Reversed
Rating: PG
Pairing: None
Summary: In a world where Hiei wins a game of Go-Fish and somehow manages to lose at the same time. Let's follow him as he attempts to raise a baby Kurama.
Disclaimer: Not Mine
Chapter 8: Dinner Time with the Demons
"Kurama! It's dinner and family time! So get your tail in here already!"
"I don't want to, Tree!"
"You're four hundred years old! STOP CALLING ME TREE!"
"..." Foom!
"How many times do I have to tell you this?! NO EXPLODING FLOWERS BEFORE DINNER!"
"But Tree..."
"STOP CALLING ME TREE!"
"But there was a badger behind you!"
"I didn't see any badgers! What's with you and badgers anyway? They're small woodland creatures with limited eyesight and ugly snouts!"
"...don't you mean... moles?"
"DON'T CONTRADICT ME!"
Kurama turned away, muttering some insult or another under his breath. He tossed himself onto the floor of the Badger Cave and continued grumbling half formed words.
"I HEARD THAT!"
And Kurama once again found himself without eyebrows. And whatever facial hair he had been trying to grow since hitting puberty two hundred years ago... hissed and sizzled out of existence.
Hiei, having not grown at all in the four hundred years that had passed since the last chapter -- the Yukina episode, crossed his arms over his chest and smirked in a rather smug way. "Come on," he repeated arrogantly, "It's dinner and family time."
Kurama pouted, heaving himself back onto his feet and moving the required two inches over so that he was sitting in the dinner circle before plopping back down. He was also refusing to look at Hiei.
When did he get so difficult?! Hiei wondered to himself, reaching into the campfire and plucking out some penguin meat. It was heavily charred, but otherwise very... burned.
How the two had managed to get meat from a penguin was anyone's guess, but it works, so go with it.
The two demons began gnawing determinedly on the lumps of charcoal and soon the only noise in the Badger Cave was, in fact, the sound of teeth gnashing against each other and the occasional post-mortem giggle of a penguin.
"Darn it!" Kurama complained, throwing his dinner out of the cave. "Learn not to cook already!"
The Kitsune huffed in annoyance and reached into his hair some vegetable seeds. When did he get so difficult?! He wondered, putting a little ki into the seeds and thus transforming them into celery, carrots and pods of peas. He began chewing contentedly on the greens, ignoring Hiei -- who was still attempting to chew his way through the penguin.
Hiei watched his charge enviously, pulling his half chewed dinner out of his mouth and frowning in disgust. "Maybe there is an upside in being a vegetarian..." He mused.
"You'd probably burn these too," Kurama told him unkindly, gesturing to the peas that were waiting to be consumed. He gobbled down another carrot and promptly began choking.
Hiei calmly reached over and stole a few stray greens.
Though his fit, Kurama glared but otherwise could do nothing to prevent the loss of his non-charcoal meal. Until, of course, Hiei bit down on a handful of pea pods. And promptly began choking.
And thus, they both choked for a while until the food clogging their throats came free and flew out of their mouth's to smack the other in the face.
And dinner progressed as normal.
===
"Tree, what's for dinner?" Kurama asked, wandering into the cave a few days later.
Hiei, who was still feeling bad about his latest outburst about the badgers, attempted to redeem himself with song and dance. "You're personal favorite: Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger... MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM... soup!!!" He added a strange sort of hopping dance while waving his arms.
Kurama looked away. "Honestly, Tree... that's so lame..."
Hiei pouted in a rather undignified way. "It worked when you were little!"
"I AM NOT TWO HUNDRED YEARS OLD ANYMORE!!" Kurama exploded, "I've grown up too much for that!"
Hiei's eyes glistened, and then turned as hard as steel. "Fine. I guess you're also too grown up to call me 'Tree' as well."
Kurama, speechless, resorted to the ultimate teenage weapon: door slamming. Unfortunately, there were no doors in this particular cave. From behind his closed door (read: a single vine that hung limply from the ceiling of the cave) he shouted towards Hiei: "I need new clothes!"
Hiei grouched off into town, too annoyed to really argue with the Kitsune with the mind of a hormonal teenaged Ningen. "You always need something -- you needy brat!"
"So much for dinner..."
"MAKE IT YOURSELF IF YOU'RE SO STINKING HUNGRY!!"
About twenty minutes later, Hiei stomped back into the Badger Cave and in a very annoyed manner, stomped his way towards Kurama's door (vine). "Here," he muttered, chucking a lumpy package at the lurking Kitsune. "Clothes."
Twenty seconds later, Kurama's head poked out from behind the vine. "I'm not wearing these!"
"School uniforms are the latest fashion!"
"They're PINK!"
"It was all I could get! I-"
"I won't wear pink!"
"GO STEAL SOMETHING THEN!"
As it turned out, Hiei should have specified what the "something" was that he was referring to. As, Hiei found Kurama's choice of dress rather... interesting (read: frightening).
"You are not wearing that in public."
Kurama fingered his light-blue toga with pride. "I like it."
Hiei glowered and began to steam. "Look. I know that I haven't been the best of parental figures, but I have tried to provide for you as best I could. It is an insult to me... and yourself... if you choose to dress like a freak!"
Kurama hastily pushed his jaw back into place before arguing his case. "You're the last Youkai I'd ever take fashion advice from! For Inari's sake you wear a dress!"
"It's a cloak!"
"Whatever. I'm leaving."
"Fine then!" Hiei shouted at Kurama's retreating back.
Things went downhill from there. Kurama's door (vine) slammed shut one too many times and became detached from the ceiling. The quad Badger and duo Mushroom soup finally over boiled and seeped into Hiei's cloak (dress) and the next morning, when Hiei woke (smelling like badgers), Kurama wasn't even there.
While wasn't really too much of a problem because about five minutes later, the toga-clad Kitsune made his way into the cave, a cloud of viciously pecking birds screeching and flapping above him. After the birds dispersed, (read: Hiei fried and ate them for breakfast) Kurama drew himself up and stated proudly:
"I am... THE PRINCE OF THIEVES!"
Dead. Silence.
"You say you're a master thief?" Hiei repeated incuriously. He stared doubtfully at the silver Kitsune that was currently glowering at him. "I'll admit that you have some skills... but you are no master." The small demon laughed then, very nearly falling over in his mirth. "You can't even properly steal a bird's egg for breakfast!"
Kurama huffed and threw himself at the floor so that he could properly pout -- one eye twitching frantically.
"HAHAHAHA!" Hiei continued laughing; now pounding his fists against the cave wall. "A bird's egg! HAHA!"
"Why steal a bird's egg when stealing expensive treasures is a lot more rewarding." The fox muttered to himself. He had, in fact, just returned from his first raid. Of course, he had also been pecked mercilessly by a few birds. That being the owners of the eggs Hiei was currently laughing about.
With a rather smug look that only a teenager can accomplish, Kurama pulled about a dozen undeniably valuable jewels from his toga pockets and dumped them onto the floor of the Badger Cave.
Hiei's laughter ended in a chocked sound of garbled syllables.
And thus began Kurama's career as a thief...
===
Hiei: gods! Why is he still calling me tree?!?!
Kurama: did I ever learn his name in this fic?
Hiei: it's HIEI! HI -- EI. LEARN IT ALREADY!
AN> REVIEW!
Rating: PG
Pairing: None
Summary: In a world where Hiei wins a game of Go-Fish and somehow manages to lose at the same time. Let's follow him as he attempts to raise a baby Kurama.
Disclaimer: Not Mine
Chapter 8: Dinner Time with the Demons
"Kurama! It's dinner and family time! So get your tail in here already!"
"I don't want to, Tree!"
"You're four hundred years old! STOP CALLING ME TREE!"
"..." Foom!
"How many times do I have to tell you this?! NO EXPLODING FLOWERS BEFORE DINNER!"
"But Tree..."
"STOP CALLING ME TREE!"
"But there was a badger behind you!"
"I didn't see any badgers! What's with you and badgers anyway? They're small woodland creatures with limited eyesight and ugly snouts!"
"...don't you mean... moles?"
"DON'T CONTRADICT ME!"
Kurama turned away, muttering some insult or another under his breath. He tossed himself onto the floor of the Badger Cave and continued grumbling half formed words.
"I HEARD THAT!"
And Kurama once again found himself without eyebrows. And whatever facial hair he had been trying to grow since hitting puberty two hundred years ago... hissed and sizzled out of existence.
Hiei, having not grown at all in the four hundred years that had passed since the last chapter -- the Yukina episode, crossed his arms over his chest and smirked in a rather smug way. "Come on," he repeated arrogantly, "It's dinner and family time."
Kurama pouted, heaving himself back onto his feet and moving the required two inches over so that he was sitting in the dinner circle before plopping back down. He was also refusing to look at Hiei.
When did he get so difficult?! Hiei wondered to himself, reaching into the campfire and plucking out some penguin meat. It was heavily charred, but otherwise very... burned.
How the two had managed to get meat from a penguin was anyone's guess, but it works, so go with it.
The two demons began gnawing determinedly on the lumps of charcoal and soon the only noise in the Badger Cave was, in fact, the sound of teeth gnashing against each other and the occasional post-mortem giggle of a penguin.
"Darn it!" Kurama complained, throwing his dinner out of the cave. "Learn not to cook already!"
The Kitsune huffed in annoyance and reached into his hair some vegetable seeds. When did he get so difficult?! He wondered, putting a little ki into the seeds and thus transforming them into celery, carrots and pods of peas. He began chewing contentedly on the greens, ignoring Hiei -- who was still attempting to chew his way through the penguin.
Hiei watched his charge enviously, pulling his half chewed dinner out of his mouth and frowning in disgust. "Maybe there is an upside in being a vegetarian..." He mused.
"You'd probably burn these too," Kurama told him unkindly, gesturing to the peas that were waiting to be consumed. He gobbled down another carrot and promptly began choking.
Hiei calmly reached over and stole a few stray greens.
Though his fit, Kurama glared but otherwise could do nothing to prevent the loss of his non-charcoal meal. Until, of course, Hiei bit down on a handful of pea pods. And promptly began choking.
And thus, they both choked for a while until the food clogging their throats came free and flew out of their mouth's to smack the other in the face.
And dinner progressed as normal.
===
"Tree, what's for dinner?" Kurama asked, wandering into the cave a few days later.
Hiei, who was still feeling bad about his latest outburst about the badgers, attempted to redeem himself with song and dance. "You're personal favorite: Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger... MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM... soup!!!" He added a strange sort of hopping dance while waving his arms.
Kurama looked away. "Honestly, Tree... that's so lame..."
Hiei pouted in a rather undignified way. "It worked when you were little!"
"I AM NOT TWO HUNDRED YEARS OLD ANYMORE!!" Kurama exploded, "I've grown up too much for that!"
Hiei's eyes glistened, and then turned as hard as steel. "Fine. I guess you're also too grown up to call me 'Tree' as well."
Kurama, speechless, resorted to the ultimate teenage weapon: door slamming. Unfortunately, there were no doors in this particular cave. From behind his closed door (read: a single vine that hung limply from the ceiling of the cave) he shouted towards Hiei: "I need new clothes!"
Hiei grouched off into town, too annoyed to really argue with the Kitsune with the mind of a hormonal teenaged Ningen. "You always need something -- you needy brat!"
"So much for dinner..."
"MAKE IT YOURSELF IF YOU'RE SO STINKING HUNGRY!!"
About twenty minutes later, Hiei stomped back into the Badger Cave and in a very annoyed manner, stomped his way towards Kurama's door (vine). "Here," he muttered, chucking a lumpy package at the lurking Kitsune. "Clothes."
Twenty seconds later, Kurama's head poked out from behind the vine. "I'm not wearing these!"
"School uniforms are the latest fashion!"
"They're PINK!"
"It was all I could get! I-"
"I won't wear pink!"
"GO STEAL SOMETHING THEN!"
As it turned out, Hiei should have specified what the "something" was that he was referring to. As, Hiei found Kurama's choice of dress rather... interesting (read: frightening).
"You are not wearing that in public."
Kurama fingered his light-blue toga with pride. "I like it."
Hiei glowered and began to steam. "Look. I know that I haven't been the best of parental figures, but I have tried to provide for you as best I could. It is an insult to me... and yourself... if you choose to dress like a freak!"
Kurama hastily pushed his jaw back into place before arguing his case. "You're the last Youkai I'd ever take fashion advice from! For Inari's sake you wear a dress!"
"It's a cloak!"
"Whatever. I'm leaving."
"Fine then!" Hiei shouted at Kurama's retreating back.
Things went downhill from there. Kurama's door (vine) slammed shut one too many times and became detached from the ceiling. The quad Badger and duo Mushroom soup finally over boiled and seeped into Hiei's cloak (dress) and the next morning, when Hiei woke (smelling like badgers), Kurama wasn't even there.
While wasn't really too much of a problem because about five minutes later, the toga-clad Kitsune made his way into the cave, a cloud of viciously pecking birds screeching and flapping above him. After the birds dispersed, (read: Hiei fried and ate them for breakfast) Kurama drew himself up and stated proudly:
"I am... THE PRINCE OF THIEVES!"
Dead. Silence.
"You say you're a master thief?" Hiei repeated incuriously. He stared doubtfully at the silver Kitsune that was currently glowering at him. "I'll admit that you have some skills... but you are no master." The small demon laughed then, very nearly falling over in his mirth. "You can't even properly steal a bird's egg for breakfast!"
Kurama huffed and threw himself at the floor so that he could properly pout -- one eye twitching frantically.
"HAHAHAHA!" Hiei continued laughing; now pounding his fists against the cave wall. "A bird's egg! HAHA!"
"Why steal a bird's egg when stealing expensive treasures is a lot more rewarding." The fox muttered to himself. He had, in fact, just returned from his first raid. Of course, he had also been pecked mercilessly by a few birds. That being the owners of the eggs Hiei was currently laughing about.
With a rather smug look that only a teenager can accomplish, Kurama pulled about a dozen undeniably valuable jewels from his toga pockets and dumped them onto the floor of the Badger Cave.
Hiei's laughter ended in a chocked sound of garbled syllables.
And thus began Kurama's career as a thief...
===
Hiei: gods! Why is he still calling me tree?!?!
Kurama: did I ever learn his name in this fic?
Hiei: it's HIEI! HI -- EI. LEARN IT ALREADY!
AN> REVIEW!