Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Triple R Ranch ❯ Diving a GOGGLES OF DOOM THAT ONLY WANT TO MOCK YOU!!! ( Chapter 4 )

Millie: ^_^ Fudge bar!!!

Black: -__-;; I will get you one in a minute.

Millie: *gets angry look* I DO NO WORK FOR FREE MISSY!!

Black: *growls.* Shut up and work. Like I said I will get you one in a minute.

Hiei: Bakas.

Millie: Shutup.

Kurama: Melissa does not own anything except herself. -__-;; hehe enjoy.

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We were still sitting by the pool and were bored out of our minds.

“Well we could go and do some dives.” suggested Sarah.

“Can you dive Onna?”

“Pssshhh psshhhhh Hell no….psssshhhh.”

“Of course.” I said with a blank expression.

“Hn. Didn't think so.”

“Uh. Well why don't you show us what you can do three eyes.” She said.

“Hn. Fine. I will love to watch you weep with embarrassment.” He was so sure of himself as he walked up to the diving board.

“Hn. He can't do it.” Yusuke said.

“Oh detective…silly little detective. You have no idea.” I replied. Hiei was running to the end of the board and jumped off doing a double back flip and landing in a beautiful dive in the pool. Sarah's eyes filled with hearts as emerged from the water all wet. She looked him up and down and I could've sworn that I saw her mouth the words “I love you.” over to him. I shook my head and laughed.

“How about you Kurama, can you dive?” I asked him.

“Yes I can but definitely not like that.”

“Oh don't worry. I'm sure you're good. Go dive I wanna see.” He blushed and got up from the chair and he did a really nice dive. It wasn't all fancy like Hiei's but I admired him for it anyway. Sarah laughed and looked at me.

“What are you laughing at?”
”All your guy can do is a regular dive.”

“Hell he can dive that's as good as it gets there. I still admire him for it. I can't fuckin' dive to save my life.” She laughed even harder.

“OOH OOH OOH!!!! I want to do that.” Kuwabara said as he waved his hands in the air.

“No.” Kurama said. Kuwabara was surprised by Kurama's reaction.

“Come on it's in the deep end. You can't swim.”

“Well…..yeah but I can wear floaty wings.” He got a big grin on his face. We all sweat dropped and he started to put them on.

“Fine go on.” He happily ran up to the board and started flexing his muscles. Sarah smacked her hand to her forehead.

“Just go you idiot!!” She yelled.

“I AM!!!” He looked like a little masculine girl that wanted cotton candy at the park. He got back to the event at hand was about to jump when there came a huge D shaped floaty. He was a little blind sighted and jumped anyway in HUGE belly flop. He went under the water all the way to the bottom. As he was coming up he was so proud of himself. But then he realized that he had to swim up in order to breath. I could hear his thoughts.

“WHERE'S THE SURFACE!!!” He was flailing his arms as best he could. “WHERE'S THE SURFACE OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!” I cracked up laughing, as did everyone else. We could faintly hear what he was saying even when he was in the water.

“GAAAAAAHHHH WHERE IS IT!!!! Oh there it is, and I was looking everywhere for it.”

We were a little disappointed when he said that.

“Wait.” He said and we heard a huge conk. He hit pool with his head.

“Oh nope I was wrong that's the bottom. Oh wait here it is. BANG. Nope that's the side.” Now Hiei was sprawled on the floor laughing his ass off, clutching his stomach and everything. I was weird to see him like this but I mean come on it was funny as hell. He eventually got to the surface and walked out of the pool. I was afraid for Hiei though because he was still cracking up on the floor. He began laughing so hard that he passed out on the pavement.

“CPR!!!!” yelled Kuwabara. Sarah didn't say anything about but we all knew she wanted to be the one to wake Hiei up in a nice kiss. Well everyone except Kuwabara apparently because he ran over to Hiei and kneeled down before his face. He puckered up in a kiss and leaned in. Right then his eyes SNAPPED open in a glare.

“TOUCH ME WITH THOSE CRUSTY LIPS OF YOURS AND EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF THE DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME.” He growled. I laughed sooooooo hard I fell out of my seat. He zipped up and started walking to his own seat. I got up still laughing and saw Sparky looking at me with her INFAMOUS pouty face. I just looked away and then back and she was still doing it. I started to whistle as best I could and started messing with my nails. And I will tell you RIGHT NOW!!! I tried my hardest I really did but she wouldn't stop!!! I gave in, sadly.

“Uggggh Fine.” I snapped my fingers and Hiei fell unconscious..again.

“THANK YOU!!!” She ran over and hugged me.

“Yeah yeah but you SO owe me!! I wan a candy bar….no I want a candy bar AND a soda!!!! NOT just any soda either. I want a SOBE!!!” She rolled her eyes.

“Well what kind of candy bar do you want?” I got the most serious look on my face.

“A crunch bar.” She just looked at me and then turned her attention to her beloved Hiei.

“I WILL SAVE HIM!!!” yelled Kuwabara. His face was coming down when Sarah's hand clasped his whole face.

“Touch him and you will know the meaning of pain.” She let go and he fell flat on the floor. She leaned down and kissed him or to him gave him mouth to mouth resuscitation.

“Cheah. Riiiiiiiiight. CPR my ass.” I said. Everyone else nodded in agreement. She was still giving him “CPR” when he woke up and his face turned fire engine red. He let her keep thinking he was unconscious for a while until he thought it was best to “wake” up.

“What the hell happened?”
”Well Hiei. You see…..ummm….” Sarah tried to tell him.

“You slipped on the pavement and hit your head.” I finished, covering up for her and myself.

“Ok Melissa come with me and I will get you your prize.” She said. I smiled.

“Actually how about everyone come with us. I mean we will have the Trading Post to ourselves. COUCHES!!!” I said. They all got their stuff and came along.

“Hn. Onna what do you mean by prize? What did she do to deserve something?” asked Hiei.

“She- uuuhhhhh she-.”

“BECAUSE I AM A GREAT FRIEND Hiei. BECAUSE I AM awesome.” Kurama and I laughed and Sarah just rolled her eyes and smiled. Hiei was contemplating everything that happened over the last 10-15 minutes.

“He's thinking……HE'S ONTO US!!!” I yelled and grabbed Sarah's hand as I ran into the trading post. I sat down at the table with the Mancala board on it. Sarah went over to the counter to get my stuff and the boys finally entered the building. Kurama sat across from me and Yusuke next to me. Kuwabara was busy looking at the charm bracelets they were selling at the far end of the room. Sarah came back with just a Sobe in her hand.

“Here Millie.” She handed it to me and I kept my other hand out. She never handed me my crunch bar.

“Hey. This wasn't part of the deal. I asked for a drink AND a crunch bar.”
”Chill woman you can have it later.” I just glared at her. She looked over to her left and saw the air hockey table. Her eyes went all buggy.

“HEY WHO WANTS BE DEFEATED AT AIR HOCKEY BY the one and only ME!?!?!” She yelled.

“YUSUKE DOES!!!” I yelled.

“WHAT?!?!!” He screeched back like a girl. “Fine I will burn you anyway.”

“Psssh whatever boy I will SCHOOL you.”

“You wish.”

“UH no I don't wish I KNOW!!!” They began to play the game. Hiei was watching from afar. I knew he secretly wanted Sparky to win.

“And they're off. Sparky takes the lead with a mad awesome rapid shot to Yusuke's crotch making him cower in fear as the puck goes into the goal. Oooh and Yusuke is damaged by the burn. Do you feel that Sarah?”

“Oh yes.”

“And what would you call that?” I asked.

“That would be a MASSIVE TEMPERATURE INCREASE!!!!” Even Hiei chuckled at that one.

“Oh no and Yusuke strikes back as the puck goes long down the table BUT he uses a little too much force and flings off the table right at Kuwabara's eye. OUCH that's gonna leave a mark.” I said all of this in a reporter way. They played for a long time and tied twice.

“I think they are doing very well. What do you think fellow reporter Kurama?”

“Well I would have to agree Melissa. They have gone all around the camp playing this game and now it has come down to the finals.”

“Nice work.” I whispered to him. “Well Who do you think owns this game?” I asked.

“Well reporter Melissa I would have to say Sarah has this all the way.”

“I agree reporter Kurama. And now we go to the out field with Kuwabara.”

“Hey why aren't you calling me reporter?” He whined.

“Because you are……special? Hehe. Just tell us how you think it is going out there?”

“Oh Sarah has this game down. She is top notch and I would totally date her if she wasn't with shorty over there.”

“WE ARE NOT TOGETHER!!!” yelled Sarah and Hiei in unison.

“HEY AND WHY AREN'T I GETTING ANY VOTES?!?!?! >_<” yelled Yusuke.

“Well darling come on you suck.” said Sarah. “It's not my fault you were born that way.”

“Well back to the game.” I said.

“Yes. Sarah puts a spin on that puck and confuses Yusuke. And….” said Kurama.

“GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL.” We both said.

“Damn.” Yusuke was so disappointed.

“Hey loser buys. ^_^” Sarah called out in joy.

“Buys what?” Kuwabara asked.

“>_< Nothing Kuwabara you would forget in like five seconds anyway with that short ass attention span.” Sarah walked back over the table with me and Kurama. Yusuke went to re-claim his so called name by playing Kuwabara.

“OH COME ON ANYONE CAN BEAT HIM!!!!” I called out.

“HEY!!! No one else knows that.”

“Oh hon. Blind dogs know.” I said. Sarah just sat there drooling over Hiei. He just grunted like usual.

“God we need to get you two on a date. You have known each other long enough. Like what a year?”

“Almost.” said Kurama.

“Shutup Millie.” Sparky looked from me to Kurama and then back to me. “I can do worse than just tell him everything.” She held up her index and middle fingers and moved them like they were scissors.

“You wouldn't.”

“Oh yes. I would. I think you and Kurama need to go on a date.” She said to Kurama but focused it more to my attention.

“Chillax with that I will stop talking about it jeeze.” I winced.

“Hn. You need to stop with all that you are saying.” Hiei glared with a smirk.

“BUT IT'S TRUE!!!” I yelled.

“Riiiiiiight.” Sarah tried to play it off but everyone knew so there was really no point except for them just freakin' hurry up and run off together.

“You know what I want us to do?”

“What now?” asked Yusuke.

“I think I should teach you all how to ride horses.” I smiled.

“I know how to ride a horse thank you very much.” Sarah strained to look all high and mighty.

“I don't care I want to teach them how. Jeeze.”

“Sounds like fun. I have always wanted to ride one.” Kurama declared.

“Baka I wouldn't go near one of those creatures even if you let me kill Kuwabaka.”

“LIE!!!! THEY'RE ALL LIES THAT YOU SPEAK!!!” screamed Sarah. We all left the Trading Post and headed toward the tacks in front of the barn where the horses were. When we left I turned out all the lights leaving Kuwabara.

“WAIT!!!! Where did everyone go?!?!” He sat down in the corner and started to rock back forth.

“I'm all alone.”

“No you're not.” Said a little boys voice.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” He rammed into the door trying to escape and hit the post that was holding the outside of the building up.

“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.” Sarah started laughing and walked out of the Trading Post. She eventually caught up with us as we had already gotten all of the horses into the riding ring. She walked through the gate and up to her horse.

“What's this big guy's name?” She asked.

“Well she's a girl but ok. Her name is Kage.” Her face went flat as she got one. Her horse was a chest nut color and had a long mane.

“Your horses name is Bullet, Kurama.” He got on his and pet its neck. His horse was brown with snow snow-like blotches of white in all places.

“Yusuke you have Siz.” He got on and got his foot stuck in the stirrup. His horse was all white.

“What the hell? I'm about to fall someone help me.”

“Oh my god.” I ran over got his foot out.

“*cough* smooth *cough cough*” Sparks and I started to laugh.

“I have Lyric here.” My horse was brown with a white tail.

“Hiei you have Zeke.”

“HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA. ZEKE. I am da body builda zeke. And I am here to *clap* PUMP YOU UP!!! HAHAHAHA” Yusuke said. I cracked up laughing. Kurama laughed too and Hiei just growled. His horse was all midnight black with one white starburst on his forehead.

“WAIT……WAIT FOR ME!!!!” We all heard Kuwabara yelled and saw him running into the gate head first. “Ow.” He kept running with is hand on his head.

“I told you earlier you need a helmet. Ugggh.” Sarah sighed out.

“Where's my horse?” He asked.

“Right there. I brought him out for you because I knew you be here eventually.” I pointed over to a pony. He was a really light brown with crossed eyes and huge buck teeth that stick out rather oddly, a lot more than a normal horse at least. And his mouth hung open as drool dripped down the side of his mouth. Kuwabara dropped him jaw in disbelief.

“HE'S SOOOOOO………..ADORABLE!!!!!!” He screeched like a little girl.

“Glad you think so.” I rolled my eyes.

“Hey Mils, what's his name?” Sparky asked.

“Lucky hehehe….eh.”

“Ahhahahahahaha Lucky? Hahahahah. That has to be the most ironic name ever.”

“Yep.” I smiled. “Now Kuwabara hurry up and get on your “horse” so that we can start..” He put his right foot in the left stirrup and tried to get on. He lifted himself up and was on in a flash.

“Hey cool. Wait…where's his head OH MY GOD!!!! I KILLED IT!!! I ACCIDENTLY KICKED HIS HEAD OFF AAHHHH!”

“KUWABARA!!! YOU'RE ON IT THE WRONG WAY!!!” Sarah screamed at him.

“Oh…hehehehe.” He got off and put his foot in the way this time but when he lifted himself up he fell off on the other side. We heard a hard thunk and he zipped right back up, pulling his shirt down and patting the dirt off.

“I'm fine…I'm good really.”

“Grrrr Hurry up baka we don't have all day.” growled Hiei. Kuwabara was finally on his horse and somehow he found a twig of straw and put it in his mouth.

“I'm a cowboy!!!” He grinned.

“COWS!!! WHERE!!???” Sarah was way too paranoid.

“No where baka onna. Now shutup so we can this over with.” Hiei growled.

“Ok now as you can see I have chosen the horses to match you personality.” I said with a grin. Sarah's horse was nudging Hiei's in the butt and chased him around the ring. Eventually Hiei's horse stopped and they where walking side by side. They were both nuzzling each others noses and playing nice.

“Hn. I don't get it. What the hell are they doing.”

“Awwwe. They like each other.”

“Now do you get it Hiei?”

“Hn. Not at all.” He answered.

“DENIAL!!!!” I called out. My horse on the other hand was walking side by side with Kurama's. His horse looked at mine and mine looked away with a hint of a blush on her face.

`Dammnit I just had to get a horse that is just like me!!!!' I thought.

`Awwwe Millie has made a love match and so has her horse. Ooooh maybe you can have double date.' Sparky laughed at me telepathically. Her horse and Hiei's horse started making googley eyes and passes at each other.

“Now do you understand?” I called over to them as we were walking around the ring.

“No.” answered Hiei. I smacked the palm against my forehead.

“Kurama, please tell me you understand.” I said to him. We were still walking side by side.

“Do not worry Melissa I understand. They are in denial and we all know it.” He laughed a little.

“Ok Hiei. I chose your horses according to your personalities ok?”

“Hn.”

“And Sarah's horse is after your horse and your horse is after Sarah's. What does that tell you?”

“Yo Melissa, my horse won't move.” Yusuke was trying get Siz to move but he surrounded himself with other female horses and were no doubt hitting on them.

“He's hitting on the mares like you do.” I laughed at this. “Now back to you two, Hiei what does this situation tell you?” I was pointing to them.

“Nothing baka ningen.”

“ICE DEMON. And HELLO!!!! It means Sarah likes you!!!” My face contorted to a look of tragedy on their part.

“MILLIE!!! LET IT GO!!!” Sarah was now just sitting on her horse not moving as her and Hiei's horse were just hanging our and wouldn't budge.

“Whatever I give up.”

“Hn. Good.”

“You didn't let me finish.” I replied with a grin. “I was trying to say that I give up for now.”

“Hn.” Sarah rolled her eyes.

“I think we should go on the long trail now.” I suggested.

“Cool. Now I can show my awesome riding skills that I so have.” Yusuke was sitting with his chest in the air, trying to look all high and mighty.

“That is if you can pry that 150 pound horse away from all those lovely looking horses then maybe we will get to see those “awesome” riding skills.” I replied making finger quotes around the word awesome.

“Let's go. I want to ride this dangerous beast out in the wild.” Kuwabara was referring to his horse.

“Oh yes so dangerous. Don't you agree Melissa?” asked Kurama.

“Definitely. Those crossed eyes have an angry and terrifying look to them.”

“Yeah. He's so cute.” Kuwabara tried to add to the joking but he didn't get it.

“ONWARD!!” I called. We all went through back gate and down the dirt path.

“Is everybody with us?” asked Kurama after a few minutes of riding. We both looked back to see if the gang was still with us. Hiei and Sarah's horses were walking side by and still flirting. Hiei was looking in the totally opposite direction of Sarah. Yusuke was trying his best to get his horse away from the other ones and Kuwabara was nowhere to be found.

“Where is Kuwabaka?” I asked.

“I'm over here.” I could here his voice but I couldn't see him.

“What?” Sarah couldn't see him either. We all looked back and finally saw him struggling to get Lucky out of the bushes.

“He was hungry so I let him stop for some food.” I rode back to him to see what he was letting him eat.

“KUWABARA YOU IDIOT YOU CAN'T LET HIM EAT POISON IVY!!!!” Everyone else gasped. I shook my head.

“Poison?” He gasped. “Am I going to die?”

“No. Much worse.” Sarah retorted. “You're going to get horrible dots and rashes all over your body and you know what they are going to do?” She asked him.

“What?” He cowered in fear.

“They're going to ITCH.-“

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.” Sarah was now satisfied and I needed to take Lucky back to the barn.

“Uggh I guess that's all for today. Sorry it was so short guys.” I apologized to the group and trotted back to the stables. We all left and they did their own thing for the rest of the day which included more of Hiei and Sarah being totally clueless about everything and Kuwabara and Yusuke trying to beat each other up and drooling over one of the helpers, Julie. Kurama steered clear of their stupidity and was mostly just walking around or reading in his room. I came back at lunch and saw Hiei looking to the other side of the room.

“Hiei?” Sarah was sitting right next to him and she put her face up next to his and looked to where he was so fixated. She looked at him and then the spot then back at him and repeated this for a little while until he slowly turned his face to look at her and glared.

“Onna will you stop that?”

“Are you having a moment?” I asked.

“Shut up Millie.” I glared back at her.

“Do you see that?” asked Hiei. He was pointing to a box that had the words Ice Cream on it and was over flowing with popsicles.

“Oh here we go.”

“Here we go what?” asked Kuwabara. I smacked him in the back of his head.

“You do know you can just go over there and get one right?” asked Yusuke.

“Only one?” asked Hiei.

“Yes only one.”

“Fuck that I'm getting 10.”

“No Hiei. The most you can get is two.” He hung his head in disappointment. He went over and got two.

“Don't think I didn't see that Hiei.” Sarah interrogated.

“Hn. See what baka?”

“I saw you slip about five of them in you pants.”

“Say anything to anyone else and I will hurt you BIG TIME Onna.” He said quite softly.

“Mhm. Whatever.” After lunch we again did our own things and ate dinner.

“You going to bed Sparky?” I asked her. She replied with a grunt and I got on the top bunk and fell asleep rather quickly. It was dead in the night and I could hear a ruckus going on in the room but I was just too damn tired to care. I heard a huge thunk on the floor.

“Damn.” I just figured Sarah fell out of her bunk.

“I'll show those damn cows whose boss.” She was walking out to the pastures with a pellet gun in hand and wearing massive night vision goggles. She found her spot in a bush and there was an innocent cow eating grass not to far out of range.

“Yeah I got you now. Hehehehe. You're going DOWN.” She brought her pellet gun up to her eye and was taking aim.

“Hn. Onna what are you doing?”

“POW….FLING!!!” She accidentally sent a pellet flying in the wrong direction making a loud noise and causing the cow to flee the scene.

“Damnit Hiei. You made me scare off the evil cow of DOOM!!!” He just looked at her until she said something. “What do you want? You have ruined my shooting capabilities for the night.”

“Onna what are you doing trying to shoot the cow?” He asked.

“Well hello, that bull tried to kill me all those years ago and I am getting my revenge on its…..bretheren.”

“Cows are female.”

“Fine its sisterin.”

“And what are you wearing?” He asked as he rolled his eyes at her remark.

“I am wearing night vision goggles. You like? They make me look smexy.” She replied.

“Smexy Onna?” Hiei was confused and he raised his brow.

“Sexy Hiei ok? Sexy. Jeeze. You should know what my language by now. I know exactly what you mean when you say hn.”

“Hn.”

“SEE RIGHT THERE. I know exactly what you said.”

“Oh really? Then what did I mean?”

“You think I am crazy and weird but you love me anyway.” She smiled in a cocky manner. He rolled his eyes and blushed because it's true.

“Onna take those goggles off.”

“No!! They are beautiful and they only add to my wonderful features.” She was tired and when she gets that way she acts ridiculous. Hiei knew that so he didn't even bother to protest. He walked forward to look at her better.

“Hn. You look better without them.” She finally got the point that he was being serious and kind of complimenting her.

“You really think so?”

“Hn. If you must make me say it then yes I do.” He leaned in to kiss her.

“Ow!!!” He never made I to her lips for he got poked in the eye with her bulky goggles.

“Oh my god Hiei I am sooooooo sorry.” She took them off to examine the injury. It wasn't that bad. “Can we try again?” She asked.

“Hn. Don't worry about it Onna. I am fine. I think we should call it a night. Hn. See you tomorrow.” He zipped away.

“Dammnit. I ruined my beautiful moment with Hiei. My love. Gah. Stupid goggles. They stare at me and mock me.” She looked at them lying on the floor staring up at her in a weird fashion. “Gah you hate me.” She ran away and went to get the sleep she needed and deserved.

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Millie: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Black: Jeeze it's not that funny.

Millie: HAHAHA!! The hell it isn't. You helped me think of it.

Black: *tries to hold back laughter but bursts* HAHAHA. Fine. I give it was pretty funny.

Millie: Told you.

Black: W/e

M/K/B: R&R. Enjoy.