| "Gone with the Sand" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] |
Reviewed By: waterspirit On: October 08, 2006 20:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
look so this next chapter can be easy for you just put yaoi and then concentrate in the dilema okay later
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Reviewed By: dragon of the west On: September 26, 2006 19:14 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wat's up? not bad you will add some yaoi in the next chapter or in other chapters write? hope to hear from you soon!
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Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: August 14, 2005 12:54 CDT
Comment/Review:
it's short, and people generally don;t say they love peeps out of the blue, and boys don't hug that easy either, in my oponion you're moving with the plot way to fast, in short chapters human meat though, how typical for baku-chan, lol
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Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2005 15:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
haha, Bakura and his raw-meat fetish, gotta love the guy huh, anyway, plz update soon...your chappies are so short!
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Reviewed By: velox kit fox [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2005 09:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
ewwww, raw steak. thats gross.i dont think its a good thing to eat it raw thats nasty. lol. and hoo. that was quite the chap. haha. verey cool in a wickid way. lol. plz update soon and fast with both your fics. plz and ty
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Reviewed By: Yugiohfreak5000 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 19, 2005 13:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
I think the newest chapter is pretty good. I think it'll be cool to see what Ryou can make out of that stuff. Update soon!
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Reviewed By: velox kit fox [MediaMiner Member] On: July 14, 2005 21:25 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
soryy i never reviewd you last chap but i kinda forgot. lol. im really likin this. tho how does it get so hot and then so..cold? thats what i want to know lol. update soon plz and ty!
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Title: you're improving!
Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: July 14, 2005 16:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
*excited* yeah, this is much better than the first character, keep focussing on the way you wnat your characters to bahave and their personalities and it will become even better...is Bakura going to be nice to Ryou, your choice of course *bows respectfully* but I'm kinda fed up with the beat and rape concept. *yawns* right...I'm going to bed now
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Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 13, 2005 05:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really like this stroy. I am sure it will be explained later where the others were and why they didn't meet Ryou. Too bad Bakura wouldn't care that his light was attacked and go after the mugger instead of Ryou. Update soon please!
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Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: July 12, 2005 14:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
it was ok, and I like the concept but I picked up a few flaws here and there, you might want to consider a good beta. Try to look a bit more at the personality of a character, readers are dumb, explain everything (well not really, but keep it in mind anyway) and a little more eye for detail, for instance, why weren't Yugi and co there? Try to draw things out a bit more, don't neglect things cuz you think it might make the story boring. Sorry if I sound harsh, I'm just trying to help and the story intrigues me, plz update soon!
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