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| "Chaos in the Year 2196" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Title: nice
Reviewed By: migele [MediaMiner Member] On: September 27, 2005 06:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I liked it but you miss out a bit on the humor, Ranma 1/2 humor and Nadesico Humor are both based on what's happening in between. don't just follow the story line but add some stuff in between. oh and I think Ranma Ruri are a fine fututre match, Ranma is second oldest human chronologically, at his Ki mastery waiting a few years is no Problem, right now he would stiff with her since she is cool, controlled, and he would make her smile. *hhmmm* He would also bne a nice pet project for her, after all he is a human with inhuman capabilities. migi-chan
| Title: FFARG Review Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Dumas1 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 18, 2005 22:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
An interesting mechanism for making a crossover. You seem to have most of the characters more or less in character in this chapter from what I remember of the two series. However, your grammar and spelling need some work. Commas are missing and words are misspelled left and right. In some cases, this completely changes the meaning of the sentence. For example, here's a sentence from the chapter: The Admiral Nergal selected to be the military lesion contacted the pilot of that stray Aestivalis, "Identify yourself, Pilot?" A lesion is a wound or some pathological change in an organ or the skin. I think you meant to say 'liaison.' Another error you make often is omitting commas around the names of people who're being addressed. Overall, this has the potential to be a very interesting fic, but the poor grammar is just too distracting.
| Reviewed By: Kinai [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2005 13:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Comment/Review:
Original way to put Ranma 200 years in the future, at least you didn't use any character of oh my goodess! I am interested to know if your Ranma has any lack. only curiosity? And in the 3º chapter appear (1) and (2). I suppose that they are explanations. Where are they?? Kinai.
| Reviewed By: author On: July 17, 2005 13:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
This needs a major reformatting. All the paragraphs and crap are running together. There are no line breaks or anything at all. Please fix it.
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