Title: Not a bad start
Reviewed By: ryuu_lover [MediaMiner Member] On: August 03, 2005 23:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
For a first chapter that was really good (especially since this is your first real fic (i don't count songfics)! I liked how you described what they were thinking. And also the way you described Inuyasha's senses (very few authors do that, and I love it). You also had very good word choice. Some constructive criticizm (we all need it), try to include a little more detail with environment and feeling/emotion (I know from experience that it is very important for the type of fic you're writting). Also the sense of time was a little confusing ie the difference between past and present and how long things take. My last comment: how was a radio in the past recieving a signal from the future? Was it being pulled through the well (I'm giving you and idea to bail yourself out with). Other than that you're doing really good! Keep it up and update soon. Oh and PS, if you're interested, I'm posting my own fic (Speaking Through Dreams) and I think you might like it; it seems similar in the type of style we're attempting (I'd also like your oppinion about it). Good work, Darkflame Dragon
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