| Reviewed By: kuramaandkarasu [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2005 20:38 CST|
Thanks for submitting to FFRG! First off, I would recommend getting a beta reader. Throughout the story, I saw misspellings, run-on sentences, and fragmented sentences that made no sense to me. Also, throughout the story, the past and present tense verbs kept switching and made the sentences sound rather awkward in places. I liked the overall plot, however, and I thought it was interesting. Keep writing!