| "Sweet & Sour Pork" Reviews/Comments [ 11 ] |
Title: Yummy....
Reviewed By: Quiet Storm [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2008 10:34 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have just started to watch this series so the setting is just perfect for me. I was surprised to find very little s-CRY-ed hentai/yaoi doujin and fanfics in the web. :-( There is so much potential for stories. *sigh* So, I am thankful that your brain made you write this one-shot. Your description is very well written. I loved how the different perceptions paralleled in their development. That kind of gave it a "double-pleasure" feeling. I was even more pleased when you ended it with a "view-shot" of each of them respectively in their rooms after the act of self-pleasure. This brings things closer to the reality of where I am in the series. Moreover, the intensity of each fantasy is how one would expect. That is, more "corny" from a female's point of view and more "lustful" from a male's. As a female, my writing leans towards "corny" but I always strive to have that elusive "lustful" undertone. That is why I admire your writing of his fantasy. Once again, thanks for the time you took in writing this fan-fic and most of all for sharing it. Congrats on your recognition for it. It is well-deserved.
|
Reviewed By: rawr its me On: July 02, 2008 21:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
that was GREAT! i loved it! your writing style was incredible! at first i was a bit confused because there were two separate sex scenes, both portraying mimori as a virgin (you cant be a virgin twice!) and thats what led me to figure out they were just fantasies. at any rate, i think the way you portrayed the characters and held them strictly to their personalities was executed perfectly. this was, in a word, magnificent. kudos.
|
Reviewed By: PropertyofTseng [MediaMiner Member] On: January 21, 2008 21:05 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow...just wow. It was so them. You really kept them in character. I must admit, i was intrigued by the idea of 'his' and 'hers' fantasies and i think that you executed it beautifully. Keep up the good work.
|
Title: *claps*
Reviewed By: Sayla On: June 13, 2007 07:35 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Mimori's was my fave... I highly liked this! Please, write more!
|
Reviewed By: newdkidt [MediaMiner Member] On: March 06, 2007 11:19 CST
Comment/Review:
this is good
|
Title: Amazing
Reviewed By: Tusuke On: September 04, 2006 16:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was so real as if it were really happening. The ending really threw me for a loop when I found out that the two were only dreaming of one another. Some dreams huh? Please keep up the wonderful work and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. I also promise to be a faithful reader in the future. Your works are absolutely appalling.
|
Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: August 19, 2006 00:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for submitting your piece to FFRG. I was quite surprised at the way you laid out this piece. The changing points of view and the present tense wording for the piece took some getting used to but you managed to pull it off. The present tense wording for the piece helps to pull the reader deeper into the story. The way you set your piece up also serves to blur the line between fact and fantasy. At first, I, as the reader, did not know which viewpoint was the fact and which was fantasy. This works well for this piece because the reader is lead to believe the darker of the two viewpoints is fact and the tender version is the fantasy going on inside the mind of your female lead. Through the entire piece this works quite well leading the reader to the revelation of what will no doubt be the true reality. However, the surprising twist at the end was pure gold as you the writer reveal to your readers that both viewpoints were nothing more than the fantasies conjured up during a night's rest. While your piece is well written and engaging, I do want to make a suggestion for future pieces of a similar nature. When you changed your viewpoints throughout your piece, you announced not only which part of the act of adult pleasure your characters were partaking in but you also told the readers which viewpoint they were seeing. A well written piece of this nature does not need text based cues as to when there is a change in viewpoints. The breaks you have used for your scene changes already alert your readers to a change in your story. The wording of each scene within your story should serve well enough to alert the reader as to the changes in scene and viewpoint. Overall, you have a very good concept with your story and show lots of promise. Keep writing and keep improving. Once again thank you for submitting your piece to FFRG.
|
Reviewed By: axel721 On: May 29, 2006 15:05 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i loved it! too bad they were dreams xD the first fic ive read of this kind, too. Id love to see some more of you're M-rated stuff xD you're good at it!
|
Title: Whoa whoa whoa!!
Reviewed By: Apathetic Empath [MediaMiner Member] On: December 10, 2005 00:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! This was AWESOME! I totally can't believe this is your first M rated fic. You executed it wonderfully. The writing was really good, and the situation you had the characters in was just sooooooo hot. Of course, me being the perve I am, I enjoyed Ryuhou's fantasy more than Mimori's. Mimori's was too sweet, but it was definitely good. You kept both of them in character, and I commend you for that. My mind is still whirling for this. lol. Really good work. A.E.
|
Reviewed By: *M-Kyra On: November 28, 2005 19:43 CST
Comment/Review:
What a wonderful lemon! I love it when I find people who have taken the time to put in that little extra effort to write a good one-shot. I wish you had more reviews; that way you would write another one. Enjoyment factor: 12 / Second dosing?: Yes please!
Yes |
Title: Good Insight
Reviewed By: MaginMan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 25, 2005 14:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
Just stumbled on this story today, and I have to say I loved the format. Let me be honest, I read it for the couple and the sex, but the insight into the separate mind and personalities added more enjoyment than I would have gotten from either story separately. An intellectual woman whose man willingly submits to her emotionally and a strong man who takes his woman by strength and skill. I fell like you had a great grasp of the characters. Great story!
|
