| "Storm Warning-Part 2" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] |
Title: An assumption
Reviewed By: Tergar of konoha [MediaMiner Member] On: September 18, 2009 00:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the story, though plot develops kinda slow, but the excessive sex makes up for it. I just made a little assumption Tank HAS to have a blood limit or something. No human could keep up with everything he does. Other than that, perfect.
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Title: moar!
Reviewed By: 354687126 On: May 26, 2008 13:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is the ratings for the whole story so far, whether it will go up to the full 10, remain the same, or go down when the story is all finished is all up to you. The nines are because of the exaggerated drawn out sounds you write. IIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt iiiiiiiiiiisssssss aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnoooooyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnngggg! Especially annoying is the hard letters being repeated. Try saying "kkkkk" or "tttt" out loud, or if you'd rather try on some words, "cccccaaattttt" or "dddddooooggggg". They come out as the annoying stuttering of... Well, that's pretty much the only complaint I have about this story. I'm actually looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully you haven't abandoned this.
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Reviewed By: 453786126 On: May 26, 2008 12:22 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
That has got to be one of the longest sex scenes I've ever read.
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Title: are you going to update?
Reviewed By: scienceboy On: December 08, 2007 23:03 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
its been a year! i just read your story and it rocks! when are you going to update? please please update soon!! i think its really cool how you are focusing alot on the plot. i think that the pokegirl's personalities are convincing and unique every one of them. please update!!!! i do'nt care if there aren't any lemons, just update! continue with the plot!!!
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Reviewed By: Rubel [MediaMiner Member] On: September 17, 2007 01:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story. It's nice to see a well written story that mixes the smut and the plot well in the Pokegirl genre. Keep up the good work.
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Title: Mismatched pokegirls
Reviewed By: alchemsit_pac On: May 21, 2007 21:25 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
So far I've really enjoyed your stories; both this one and the first 'storm warning'. That said, I do have see a problem with chapter 16. You said it was, and I quote, "a Level One battle: 6 Pokegirls to a side". However, the gym leader used 7 pokegirls. At first I thought I was wrong, but then I counted them again, twice. They are as follows(with quotes from the chapter): 1. Firetit 2. Avariel "One of them was quite small and had fiery red hair with darkly tanned skin; a Firetit, maybe exactly the same one Tank had talked with to arrange this battle. The other was larger and quickly launched itself into the air on feathery wings; an Avariel." 3. Galem 4. Demoness "On the island directly across from the Sorceress was the large, tough form of a Galem while above her hovered a Demoness." 5. Enchantress "the Harem Master's choice was revealed in a crimson flash. Standing in the center of the island was a fairly human-looking Pokegirl," and "The Enchantress was unable to ignore the mist, however, as its poisons began affecting her, making it difficult to attack her enemies." 6. GunValkyrie "While they were occupied by that attack the new Pokegirl, a GunValkyrie, pointed her arm toward them, the barrel of some weapon popping into view from her armor." and last but not lest 7. Fireburst "In a crimson flash the Gym Master activated his final Pokeball and called on…a Fireburst" Maybe this is the reason that the gym leader gave the badge to Tank, even though Tank lost. After all it's hard to win when the odds are stacked against you, and the judges and crowd don't catch or care that your opponent's cheating. Oh well enough ranting from me, cause other then that goof up your story is really good. So maybe you could finish it? Good luck either way, and have fun writing.
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Title: A great story!
Reviewed By: The Black Miroku On: December 15, 2006 21:06 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just finished both you're stories and this you have to continue, I will personally Beta these stories! That's how good they are!
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Reviewed By: BZLF On: November 21, 2006 09:33 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Absolutly amazing. Thats all I can say about this story. I loved reading each chapter, more-so than usually since I thought you'd finished with Storm Warning after part 1. I really hope you're able to update again soon!
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Title: Sorry-Problem with Chapter 13
Reviewed By: NullFactor [MediaMiner Member] On: September 03, 2006 20:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Sorry about the screw up with Chapter 13. I usually write everything in one big section then later break it up into smaller chapters. It makes it easier for keep track of the flow of the story and the characters that way. Somehow I screwed up this time and didn't save the new Chapter 13 over the old one so when I uploaded the chapters to the website, you all got the unedited version. I noticed the mistake fairly quickly and have gone back through re-editing Chapter 13 again, but now for some reason I can't make a connection with the website when I try to edit the chapter in the chapter manager section. I've tried a hundred times, but nothing seems to work. I'll keep trying and hopefully things will get fixed soon. Sorry again for the screw up. -Null Factor
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Reviewed By: Mikeyguy [MediaMiner Member] On: September 03, 2006 18:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i have only one question...why do chapters 14-17 seem to be a rewritte, seperated verison of 13? Was that intended? btw awesome story, love it, wish there were more like it!
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Title: UPDATE
Reviewed By: SirOverlord [MediaMiner Member] On: May 24, 2006 13:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Smashing story please for the love of all things pokegirl update soon, ok???
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Reviewed By: Jack Smith On: March 29, 2006 23:19 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Tank? The protagonist's name is Tank? ...Jeez, man. It's hard to come up with anything to say to that. Anything remotely polite, that is. Not a bad Pokegirl fic, exactly. I'll say it's definitely better than most of the junk writers that add their garbage to the PG world. But dude, you've got a ways to go before you can compare yourself to even A-kun, let alone Warp Wizard and Bsmart. You're writing is structured well enough, but it definitely feels bland and more often than not cliched. Look, Pokegirl fics are fun and all, but man you're character was a Self-Insert/Hary-Stu from the first paragraph. And your concept of the physics of anime worlds leave a little to be desired. But, hey, you're still pretty new and I'm sure you'll improve as time goes by. Just remember to give yourself a reality check every now and then. It's fun to have fantazies of various anime characters being totally awed by your SI's sexual prowess, but you're actually posting this for people to see, so you might want to refine your work a bit so your fic feels more like an actual work of writing and less like an exercise in ego inflation. No that probably isn't what you want to hear, but it's better than saying your story is perfect and giving it all tens. And maybe I'm being a little harsh, but... Oh, come on, man...Tank? All the machismo nicknames in the world and Tank is what you name your Pokegirl-boner? Geez...
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Reviewed By: Cloud_Strife12 On: March 16, 2006 13:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Really great story, Please Update soon
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Reviewed By: KunaiGuY On: March 06, 2006 23:26 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I haven't read too many pokegirl fics so this was a rather new and unique read for me. Damn good, but I really hope you don't just leave the story hanging. In any case, I have to say that quite by accident your name happened to be the author of the last 3 fics I checked on this site, and I gotta say I was impressed. Keep writing this series!
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Reviewed By: rookieguy59 On: January 21, 2006 20:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Both Storm Warnings are some of my favorite fictions. If I could give a rating above 10 for enjoyment I would. I realize that you have not updated any of your stories in awhile but I hope that you have not give up writing. This story feels like it could go some where great with it's plot and it would be a shame for you not to finish it.
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Reviewed By: Lazatszu [MediaMiner Member] On: November 08, 2005 05:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
First off id like to say that ive just pissed away hours of my life reading this series......and I loved every minute of it! I cant believe I never noticed this story before. Haveing read your notes in the begining of Storm Warning one then reading through both fics ive come to the conclusion that your pokegirl stories are alot closer to Metros original pokegirl world than pokegirl stories written by alot of other pokegirl authors. Aside from Asuka being a Tomboy and not a Domina and a few other minor things Storm warning has more in common with Wild Horses and Pokegirls than just about every other pokegirl story ive ever read. Anyhow im only pointing this out because I thought it was rather funny when you pointed out how much of an AU this was when in fact this is closer to the canon Pokegirl World than most other Pokegirl authors ever get. Heck I was reading through the primer the other day when I noticed a big mistake, who in the hell added in Mao as a Tigress??? She was a Dominatrix for crying out loud says it clear as day in the original fic yet nobody seems to care, eh oh well, anyhow keep updating!! This fic is great can't wait for the next chapter.
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Title: Not bad at all
Reviewed By: Kargan301 On: November 02, 2005 12:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a good follow up on the first part of this fic. Keep up the good work. Kargan303
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