Title: Interesting
Reviewed By: LonelyAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: November 12, 2005 23:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a really great story, it had me really sad then I was releived when I found out that it was a dream, very well written. Although I would like to help with something. "After being impaled, Inuyasha was then thrown roughly to the ground where he sat coughing up blood" You add way to much detail. When someone is thrown to the ground, you know that it's going to be rough, no other way. If he's thrown to the ground, he waould be laying on the ground, not sitting up coughing up blood. I found a lot of detail that wasn't needed. Everyone does it, I find myself doing it. But just remember to give your audience the chance to gain thier own image of the story, try not to over complicate and detail. Also put breaks between scene changes and days changes it confused me a little bit, but all in all I would have to say though that you're on your way to being a great storyteller though!
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