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| "Does My Father Even Love me?" Reviews/Comments [ 1 ] | Reviewed By: InusDemoness [MediaMiner Member] On: November 17, 2005 06:03 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
First I'd like to correct you on the meaning of Sesshoumaru's name. It actually means when literally translated "Distruction in the circle of life". The Killing Perfection is a website dedcated to Sesshoumaru. When reading this it got confusing because the song lyrics are not seperated in any way from the rest of the story so a reader could easily be thrown off track by that. You could try putting the lyrics in italics or not bolding it like the rest of the story so that it doesn't get blended in and lost. Spelling a grammar was a little shaky too, but that could be avoided if you re-read your chapters before posting them. I still find mistakes after proof reading but it does reduce the number of mistakes. Another is how you described his father, have you ever seen a picture of him? I would be happy to give you links to movie screencaps and exact fanarts of him because if a person who has seen him reads this they're going to think it's ridiculous. And surprisingly he looks more like Inu. Apart from all that this story was something just a little different from what I'm starting to see all the time in these newer stories. Though I do have to admit his father being portrade as the bed guy is also hard to swallow because we all know that he loved both his sons. Feel free to e-mail me for those links.
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