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| "I'm a wolf!?" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] | Title: Saphieralynn
Reviewed By: Saphieralynn [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2007 01:21 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
WOW...You've gatta add more chapters to this its great...I'de like to know what else is ganna happen and where its all ganna go....Keep up the good work...Ja
| Reviewed By: Kitsuneangel88 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 13, 2006 20:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
love the story! update soon!
| Reviewed By: Nami_wave_101 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 02, 2006 01:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Luved it keep goin
| Reviewed By: Tortillian [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2006 11:43 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm excited to see someone interested in writing, but there are a few things you should watch out for. You change tense within sentences often, which, while you spelling is good, detracts from your grammar. The greatest of all faults in your story, which if fixed would GREATLY raise your score, is this: You don't trust your reader. That comes about in the way you write questions into your story through Kogome's point of view. To keep your story interesting and your reader from becoming bored, it would be wise to eliminate as many italicized questions as possible, and if you still need soemthing there substitute subtle observations for the questions. For example, Kogome drew an immediate correlation between the dog fur and Quent, and suspected a connection to her father. While that's an interesting connection, you sacrifice a lot of mystery to your story by providing her surety and realization on that matter. Further, The first chapter is quite obvious. A little too much so. Her mother wanrs her against suspicious people, then Kogome wonders aloud to the reader about that strange behavior...? She also wonders if her mother and grandfather are keeping secrets, which gives away your plot to the reader from the very beginning. The obviousness detracts from the enjoyment factor. I think you'll find also that the way Kogome is accepted into Kiba's pack is very "here's the information, assimilate it, congratulations, next chapter." Having known the characters from both serieses, the wolf pack comes across as VERY comfortable with the situation, as if they fight men with guns on a daily basis and have no fear of death. You sacrifice a lot of the solemnity shared between the characters with the exception of Hige, who is more or less the "class clown" of the bunch. Watch out for using the word "as." It's slow and a filler word, and it makes your sentences passive when the story is very active. I gave you a 6 overall rating because I can see that, with crticism and work, this is a potentially very entertaining crossover fan-fic. I hope my comments have helped. If not, that's okay. You can e-mail me with questions if you have any at: mnlindwall@gmail.com I'm an english major and a literary fiction specialist, so don't hesitate to contact me. Good luck and keep up the writing.
| Title: Kool
Reviewed By: freakhorrorchick [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2006 18:04 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great begining! I look forward to more long chapters! Please update.
| Title: Great!
Reviewed By: crossover fanatic On: February 16, 2006 14:03 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
the story is really good. Please write more.
| Title: chap 1
Reviewed By: regretfully_yours_cassy_chan [MediaMiner Member] On: February 14, 2006 00:45 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
please update soon
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