|
| "Trapped" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: xenodephrun [MediaMiner Member] On: June 14, 2006 01:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
Lessee... The only things I see that needs improvement are 1. Proofread - there are some errors that I see that could be easily solve with a single proofread. 2. Details - There are some vague instances, where you'll be wondering what the hell happened. These instances are few, but nonetheless disturbs the experience. 3. How it is told - It seems you are hurrying. Some details are not that pointed out much. This is contributing factor to what is said on point no. 2 Overall, this is a good story. But it would be much better if you put a little more effort into it. One thing to add is more details, for it would clearly reflect that you put effort. If you volunteered, better put your back into it, yes?
| Reviewed By: perfect little girl [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2006 21:52 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
AWSOME GREAT STORY!!! please update sonn!!!!!!!!!!!
| Title: FFRG Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2006 10:33 CST
Comment/Review:
I was skeptical with the choppy writing style that this first chapter started off with; however, the last bit with the first person perspective was done very well. Grammatically and spelling-wise this story seems sound, and the writing style, as proven by that last bit, is pretty good also. I can't find much fault with this first chapter. It's relatively short, but then again length doesn't really determine anything. Trapped Chapter One was a good introduction to what seems like an interesting story. Thank you for submitting to FFRG and good luck with the writing! -Dee
|
|
|
