Title: FFRG Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2006 10:24 CST
Comment/Review:
There weren't many grammar or spelling errors, that I could see, and the writing style was good. Overall I have to say that while this first chapter was extremely unrealistic, it was wasn't bad, and the cliffhanger ending was definitely a plus. In retrospect, part of the reason that the crazy fiction works, I think, is because of Sandra. Her talkative, energetic, and sometimes silly/annoying personality grounded the strange events of this first chapter. Actually, when I first finished reading chapter one, I thought that Sandra's thoughts went too much off track. She reminded me of a tiresome version of Robin McKinley's Sunshine; however, now, I think it might be her randomness that grounds the story and also makes it a little more interesting. The plot concept also seems pretty interesting so far. Not So Random Notes: Butcher's knives are definitely not blunted objects. They're actually quite sharp, and you might want to check for a missing word ("like") somewhere around the area when Sandra's washing the coffee smell out of her hands.
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