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| "The Prophosy" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] | Reviewed By: pyrokinatic On: March 08, 2002 23:18 CST
Comment/Review:
well the self intrusion is kinda dead there guy, but other wise the story is good so far. keep it up | Reviewed By: DarkGatomon On: March 08, 2002 22:19 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Self Insertion. As usual: lame, lame, lame.
"It helps to have ether rich folks" -- whee! Ether-y richness! So what do they do with the fifth element, anyways? Buy it, sell it, eat it?
"If you're wondering, I don't have a partner, even though I mostly work with this beautiful woman named Mai Shumi." No, I wasn't, but thanks anyway!
"I know what you're thinking, we're friends and nothing more." Yes, that WAS what I was thinking. Where's the "but..."?
"OH! I almost forgot to mention one thing." So after this one thing, we'll know all there is to know about you? Wow. Talk about a shallow character.
"I'm board." Huh. I'd think that being made of wood would be important to mention!
"Japanesse" is spelled wrong...
`Why can't I meat Mr. Right?' -- okay, I'm not even going to try anymore.
"A good-looking man" -- *singsong* I'm just ignoring it alllll!!!
"The two just talked for the rest of lunch." -- Yummy!! ...oh, wait, I forgot I was ignoring everything...
"Brian singed on the line." -- *twitches*
Agh. I, well, really didn't like this fic. I'll be honest. Self-insertion really does seem to me like the cop-out of those who can't think up an original character. There's lots more spelling/grammar problems in there than I pointed out. The plot... is not all that great, at least yet. I'd personally advise writing a WHOLE LOT MORE before posting it on the web. And perhaps considering letting someone proof-read it. It's just painful.
Oh, yeah. And this is what you get when you force me to read your stuff when I've got better things to do. | Reviewed By: T.G (Taioragirl) [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2002 00:29 CST
Comment/Review:
TG: Wow! Can't wait to read the rest of it ^^
Sean *biggerstaff*: Loved the whole sword thing too! | Reviewed By: YamaiTaitosdaughter [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2002 15:41 CST
Comment/Review:
besides the spelling errors, this fic is pretty cool, anything including anime, dbz shirts, swords and wrestling is always good! : ) want more, he sakura, an actor, who woulda thought, though i wanna see why syaoran gave up his sword, he seemed pretty attached to it in the show... oh well now im nitpicking... its a coolsie fic,
ironically? my best friends quote of the day: "Dragon swords, Guys with wings (YUE, VAN, FULCAN etc..) giant robots, (and all of the above togather) kick ass" | Reviewed By: Jarkota On: March 07, 2002 15:00 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! | Reviewed By: Mimi, Myself, & Iz. [MediaMiner Member] On: March 05, 2002 15:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Cool! Nice prologue! Can't wait for more to happen!
~ Jodi S. | Reviewed By: GameGirl [MediaMiner Member] On: March 04, 2002 23:06 CST
Comment/Review:
Not bad for your first fic. | Reviewed By: R80 On: March 04, 2002 22:25 CST
Comment/Review:
here's my review, as usual. Dragon on the blade? NINJA GAIDEN!!!!! Loved that sword in it. This is very interesting. Sakura, a movie star? okay, if she was in 4th grade (age 10) and Brian is 5 in here, that makes her about five years your senior, right? Nice start. keep 'em posted (and me posted as well.) |
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