| "After-effects" Reviews/Comments [ 11 ] |
Title: FFRG review -Prologue
Reviewed By: Sari-15 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2006 13:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hello and thank you for submitting to FFRG. Sorry it took us awhile to get to it. To start, you have a story that has great potential from just reading the prologue. Lots of action, which is something I always have trouble with writing and reading, just continue to work on it and it should start to flow smoother the more you write it. A few things I did notice, you used 7 instead of spelling out the word, most of the time it looks more professional to write it out. Your pov switched a lot, sometimes as often as paragraph to paragraph. As a reader that can be distracting and feel jumpy, I try to stick with one point of view for an extended period of time and do everything from their eyes and feelings. It can be difficult because you want to show what everyone is feeling at a certian time, but it gives more of an impact to stay with one person for a little while. I usually do each section a different point of view. You really do have potential, keep working on improving yourself. You have done a nice job so far.
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Title: yA!!!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: BiggestInuyashaFANever [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2006 11:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It's sequel time !!!!! Your story was wicked I hope that your new story(sequel) will be swicked (sweet,wicked together best of both worlds)I wil wait to hear from you again. Bye!
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Reviewed By: Ranuel [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2006 20:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
One point has me puzzled. I understand why Kagome would decide to commit herself to a life in the past and drop out of school and make her primary home there but as long as the well still functions why can't she visit her family every few months? Why make the separation permanent? People who graduate from college and take jobs half a world away from their families still manage to go home from time to time. For Kagome it's only the equivalent of living a few blocks away.
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Title: ........................................
Reviewed By: BiggestInuyashaFANever [MediaMiner Member] On: April 09, 2006 12:58 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey I know you said light sexual content but , no offense could you have made it a little darker cause that just like totall skipped the good parts of mating inuyasha. pouts , but whatever cause I still love this story and I can't wait for the other chapters.
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Title: Update!!!!!
Reviewed By: BiggestInuyashaFANever [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2006 22:57 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love the part where Kagome turns into a Hanyou! Did you say there were more chapters coming? Oh thank God i thought the story (in my opinion0 would be ended in a total cliff hanger so i can't wait for you to finish the story i have been reading it intently for a couple of days.I LOVE your story so please update soon!
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Reviewed By: Angel~of~Fire On: March 22, 2006 23:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
great story update soon please
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Reviewed By: nitefire On: March 16, 2006 19:25 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
great story i love the whole plot!!!
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Reviewed By: just another stupid girl On: March 14, 2006 22:53 CST
Comment/Review:
i admit, i was pissed when i started reading and got to inuyasha's confession. it was like, "oh, i love you." then "hmm really, ok." i was pissed! but as i kept reading, i was happily surprised by the ending. and i love how you don't have sango mourning for like, ever over kohaku. that just pisses me off. nice job.
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Reviewed By: just another stupid girl On: March 14, 2006 22:41 CST
Comment/Review:
awww, i'm glad kagura got her happy ending! i love her character. and i'm glad kagome gets to live! so... the shikon no tama can grant more than one wish, eh? interesting
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Reviewed By: juat another stupid girl On: March 14, 2006 22:27 CST
Comment/Review:
not bad. not bad at all. i like the scene with kagura and kagome, i think you captured kagura's personality perfectly. nice job.
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Reviewed By: livingember On: March 05, 2006 23:27 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Thank god it's not a one-shot! Poor Inuyasha,I will definitely keep reading this, it has a really good premise.
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