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| "I Am A Vampire" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] | Reviewed By: Fullmetal07 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2006 19:44 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i absolutely love your fic. it's really well written, a tad confusing during some of the dialogue, but overall, very good. i love the fact that ryou is gothic, it's totally different from anything else i've read with him. it's ard to see him as gothic, but in a way, it works. hell, i'd be happy is all the characters were gothic lol (what can i say, goths are hot). i also like the fact that Bakura and the others aren't...sadistic and maniacal, it brings alittle twist to the story. anyway, i cant wait until the next chapter!
| Reviewed By: paniwi (NLI) On: July 02, 2006 11:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
The idea of the story is nice but I find your writing style to be confusing. Here and there you seem to have some names switched (especially in the case of Malik and Marik, don't worry, everybody does that). Also, when someone says something, unless its ABSOLUTELY clear whose talking, use a tag: "Oh no, now what." Said Ryou. (Just to give an example.) Also, please, no POV switches. If you have a paragraph in Ryou's pov, that's fine, but you don't need to say (Ryou's Pov) and a paragraph later (Bakura's POV) Rather try to incorporate it into the story. Same goes for flashbacks, incorporation's the key. As for characterization: Ryou...a gothic. *cough* I'm sorry, but if there's any way I can NOT imagine Ryou its as a gothic. What's up with this insane urge people have to have them using make-up? Also, if you say that Ryou has a few feminine aspects I agree...but that doesn't mean that he faints at the slightest hint of distress or danger. Girls don't do that either. I also noticed some random japanese here and there. Why use 'sennen-ring' if you can say 'millenium-ring?' Believe it or not there are still people who don't know what sennen means. Besides, incorporating japanese in english without good reason ís just wrong grammar-wise. What's worse, I saw you using the term 'Ryou-chan'. I'm sorry to say so, but wrong, wrong, wrong. Ryou is male and a teenager and therefor 'chan' is in no way applicable to him. 'chan' is only used in regards to small children or females in a friendly fashion. While the plot of the story is good there's still a lot of room for improvement. I hope I was helpful.
| Title: Hello!
Reviewed By: Ah-Un is cute! On: June 25, 2006 23:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think your story is great so far so dont mess that up okay!hehe Oh, also you said you wanted for someone to draw you Ryou, would you like me to do it? Because i'm a realy good artist, I can draw anything!*smirk*And I mean anything!(lol)I'm just kiddi'n.But if you want me to draw you a picture, e-mail me at (lilpanama1992@hotmail.com) e-mail me soon okay! Angel O.~
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: June 20, 2006 15:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
*pout* Will you update already?
| Reviewed By: PharaohsSlave On: June 12, 2006 23:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hello! This is my first review under Media Miner! *jumps up and down throwing streamers and toilet paper* TP! hehehehehe... *silence* Anyway, I am now going to praise and worship your skills as a writer. 3.....2.....1..... I love you! Not only did you place my favorite yaoi pairings but you made them vampires! (Or soon to be vampires)You have an amasing skill at writing. It is flawless! My language teacher would probably be humping you by now... but you didn't need to know that... I have to admit this is a relief after reading all those fanfics where Bakure beats Ryou and then Ryou commits suicide, making emos cut themselves afterwards. *sighs* Sorry! Praise and worship! You are the lord and master! Everyone else are all bastard! (Stolen from FOAMY!) Okay no more soda for me. Update! I need to know what Ryou does after Bakura comes in from behind! *blinks innocently* OH! Will there be a detailed and torcherous death written on Ryou's "father"? ^_^ Ja Ne
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2006 12:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
hELLo!!! wHEn Do YOu PLAn On UPDATINg? hUH?
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: May 15, 2006 09:16 CDT
Comment/Review:
OMG! O.o When will they kiss?! The lip-to-lip kind? Huh, huh? *poke, poke*
| Reviewed By: Saiyamaru(nli) On: May 13, 2006 18:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
NO GODAMMIT! WHO SAID IT COULD END?!! *growl* Hn. I wasn't sure what to expect at first. *looks at title* Nothing too good. Which shows you can't judge a fic by it's title. As much as I despise the title, I really enjoyed the fic it'self. The pace is nice and the story runs fluidly. The only thing that kind of throws me off is the rapid change of perspective that comes around one in a while. Keep writing, I hope to read more soon.
| Title: Love it!
Reviewed By: Nekosune! On: May 06, 2006 13:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love it! Cookies and pocky for you! ^_^ I can't wait for the next update, yamyams if you make it soon! ^_^
| Title: I want to be on your staff
Reviewed By: MewMew2 On: May 06, 2006 11:14 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yes, that's right I'm willing to be on your staff as a matter of fact, it would be my extreme pleasure to be on it. Mid you, I'm also busy as well, but I'll try to help out as much as I can if you let me. ANyways, here's me email you can tell me this way if I can be on or not ok? Thank you. P.S. your story is very good.
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: May 05, 2006 15:16 CDT
Comment/Review:
Update!^^
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: May 05, 2006 15:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Update!^^
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: May 05, 2006 15:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Update!^^
| Reviewed By: kokosada [MediaMiner Member] On: May 05, 2006 15:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Update!^^
| Reviewed By: sglily - really not logged in this time On: May 04, 2006 21:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
You tease! You better mean that the next chapter will make up for this little short teaser! Although, it was good! ; ) You know what? To hell with Bakura and restraint! ; ) It's cute and endearing and all but it is sending all the wrong messages to his hot little Ryou muffin that we know he just wants to take a bite out of... ; ) Here I thought Ryou was going to get humphumphumped into the kitchen counter! Look forward to more!
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