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| "RANDOM ONE-SHOTS MADE IN FIVE MINUTES!!!" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: no
Reviewed By: TMcCaine [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2006 22:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
just no...
| Title: Returned in Kind
Reviewed By: Chaos Damn It [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2006 12:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well hello there. I noticed that you seem to have taken up a penchant for my writing, if the amount of reviews that you left were a sign to be taken bluntly. So, upon coercion of your requests, I feel that it would only be right of me to return your generosity with a slice of my time dedicated towards the reading and reviewing of one of your works. This would just so happen to be that particular slice of time, and this story would just so happen to be that particular work. Truthfully, I must say that I am genuinely surprised by your comprehension of the written word. While certainly not the best of the many other stories that I have read, this does show that you are not merely fumbling your way through your writings like so many other blindly groping authors that I have seen on this website. Your sentences manage to flow rather nicely, the punctuation you choose complementing how you write well enough, sparing the fact that I did notice in quite a few places that there were spaces where there shouldn't be spaces, commas where there shouldn't be commas, and vis-à-vis. The descriptive you used showed that you have a general understanding of how to properly utilize adjectives, adverbs and so on, but at times such as when the man was walking in to the gun store with his "heart thundering inside his chest" only served to make the scene seem melodramatic. My final note to you is more of a format inclined one. Your entire story was, for lack of a better word, 'smushed' together in such a way that made it a little difficult to read. I would recommend that at the end of each of your paragraphs you double space, so that way there is a separation between them when they are run through MediaMiner's auto web formatting system. In its finality this fic had the major components of what it needed to function, but could have been fleshed out to an entirely exponential degree if given the proper amount of time. All in all enjoyable though, and showed that you have a bud of talent developing within you; for the love of whatever deities there may be, don't let it wither away. Talented authors are something this site needs desperately. - ChaosDamnIt
| Title: Wow. Nice one!
Reviewed By: I live in Metropolis too (But you don't hear me broadcasting it) On: April 22, 2006 19:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like it! I can't write worth crap, but oh well. I think it's more fun to actually read other people's fics rather than write them, ya know what I mean? But maybe it's cause I'm a guy? I dunno.. Nice fic anyway! *I hate rambling*
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