Reviewed By: rockshwie [MediaMiner Member] On: July 08, 2006 09:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
Actually I like the story, even though I love stories that fall into the romance genre. It is written in the first person that makes it concentrate more on the feelings of the main character and for me, that is a good thing. But I suggest that you also familiarize yourself with the use of the third person view. Not only does it deal with the feelings of other characters but it also gives a better description of the setting and other events. I found the first chapter funny, considering that the main character's thoughts are funny. But it still lacked the character's depth. Don't get me the wrong way though. I'm not a good writer myself but I would just want to comment on your work. Well anyways, the setting of the story is not that clear. Since I am not from that place, I couldn't imagine well what the place looks like. I am looking forward to other fanfics written by you in the future! The story is original. And overall, I would give it a nine. But don't be depressed just 'cause the other authors get ten's. Writing requires practice. And always remember that in all the things you do, always put your 100%. It doesn't matter whether it is only a simple task. Big things start from small so you better do your best always!
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