| Reviewed By: Dartz_IRL [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2007 03:58 CST|
Style of Writing: 7 of 10Comment/Review:
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10
Okay, while I can't really fault you're grammer and presentation, I'd still find the basic concept of this fic to be a bit....distasteful. And it is a concept I don't often see, so originality marks. But, I think I told you this on FFN, but I'm going to restate it here. Replacing a canon character with yourself, especially one as important as Shinji is something that could almost be considered an unforgiveable sin. People come to read these fics because they want to see more involving the characters of EVA, not what you would do in their place. Now granted, your warned us of this and is is your story, but still, nobody will read it if it's just you beating the Angels. Might I suggest that, instead of replacing Shinji, you add yourself, as a normal human with no special guardian powers, beyond your series knowledge. You don't even have to be an EVA Pilot. A story about you struggling to make a difference may be better and more enjoyable to read, especially if you make a few occasional mistakes, or cause a few foul ups. Mary-sue flights of fancy like this are distasteful to most of the EVA community, and, while you may enjoy you're story, and fair enough, that's a big part of it, nobody else will want to read a Mary-Sue fic.