|
| "Scrolls" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: Keale Shinomori [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2006 11:13 CDT
Comment/Review:
The story is set in an alternate world where history has repeated itself, technology and modern culture existed then was wiped out many times. It's an ancient world so anything goes really, but I understand what you mean by some of the language not fitting into the scene~ but that's if you look at the story as if it was set on earth in our medieval times, which it's not ^^ Thanks for reviewing ~
| Title: FFRG Review: Chapter One
Reviewed By: Kari Izumi [MediaMiner Member] On: October 14, 2006 18:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hi! I think you have a nice premise for a fic here. This first chapter goes a good job of setting up the basic story line, as well as Tone's want of exploring the world. This will be his journey into manhood, I assume. I'm also interest to see more about Shelle's background. The one question I have was about the time period of the fic itself. I can tell it's obviously before the 20th century, but it would be nice to know how long ago in the past this took place--or where it took place, geographically. I felt that Tone's speech patterns were a bit too taylored to modern slang. He gratuitous useage of the word "yeah" comes to mind, as well as his referrence to Shelle as "hot" (A term that only got popular in the last three years IIRC). For the time period that I'm thinking this takes place in, tht sort of language just doesn't exist in their world. Overall, I think this has potental to be a fantastic story. Thank you for bringing this into the FFRG!
|
|
|
