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| "Love Works in Mysterious Ways" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] | Reviewed By: preciousjade [MediaMiner Member] On: November 05, 2011 01:09 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this chapter is very cute. love the bv moments. | Reviewed By: chiku [MediaMiner Member] On: December 12, 2006 16:18 EST
Comment/Review:
This is a really good fic, supprised is has not had more reviews
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2005 22:42 EDT
Comment/Review:
lol, cute. Vegeta and Bulma seem to be doing a lot of arguing. Trunks and Goten are funny together. Also, I love how you named Chichi's son Goten, since Grandpa Gohan was never in the picture, and there was no way that they could have gotten the name!
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2005 22:34 EDT
Comment/Review:
Better!
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2005 22:27 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This chapter was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better. I don't know what you did or whatever, but I actually understood what was going on! What did you do? I must read more!
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2005 22:14 EDT
Comment/Review:
Omg, now I'm really confused! You just jumped to 8 years later, without anything said at ALL about how Bulma got "pregnant" by "Vegeta" from Kakarott at all, and that she was with Yamcha when she did this? Um...was she somehow raped by a ki ball? i don't think she would ever consent to that. You also mentioned that Chichi had lost the SCD that Kakarott had given her for 8 years, and then out of nowhere she finds it again? That doesn't make sense to me. I'm really confused...I'm not sure at all what's going on here...last chapter you said that Bulma and Vegeta were bonded, and they were on the same planet, the same roof! So what happened?
| Title: ??????
Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2005 22:07 EDT
Comment/Review:
Ummm...lol? I started reading this second chapter, and I immediately wondered if I was reading the wrong story! I am kinda confused here...I thought you said that King Vegeta was dead? And how is Bulma Princess of Earth and Dr. Briefs King, when in the first chapter, you mentioned that Mrs. Briefs was bringing Kakarott to CAPSULE CORPORATION, not a palace or castle or big giant building or anything. There was one thing that I thought was hysterical: "None of your business! How dare you ask me about what I was thinking." Vegeta totally cracked me up when he said that. Um...this chapter really needs some work...like, A LOT. I don't understand how all of a sudden Kakarott was searching for a woman for Vegeta, and then ends up on earth without even so much as a clue as to who or what Bulma is, and then the next chapter they are bonded, Bulma is already in love with Vegeta the second time they meet, and King Vegeta is alive! VERY confused. I'm going to continue to read though, to see what is going on.
| Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2005 21:57 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey! Just checking out one of your stories! I like the whole idea, and it would be great, but you really rushed the beginning! You need to make it dramatic...it would make it so much better! You also need to work on your descriptions, it would make your chapters longer and that much better. If you describe things like what the palace looks like, and maybe before Kakarott meets Mrs. Briefs, have him look around at the green scenery and whatnot. Also, I don't know about that whole ki ball thing with getting a woman pregnant...that takes the fun out of it all! But i'll have to continue reading to find out! I think it's pretty good, just needs a little work to perk it up a bit! I'm going to continue reading!
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