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| "High School Never Ends" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: Great Start!
Reviewed By: Star Princess [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2007 17:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really like where this is going! I think that Sasake would be the person to end up with him, but I'd rather see him with Niji for some reason.
| Reviewed By: InuyashaNaruto [MediaMiner Member] On: January 11, 2007 10:37 CST
Comment/Review:
Cool update soon please and thank you
| Title: Hoping
Reviewed By: Arenja [MediaMiner Member] On: December 28, 2006 13:53 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm hoping for some NaruSasu/SasuNaru here! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, couldn't resist. Anyways, I reallly enjoy your story and I'm looking forward to your next update, basically because you have an interesting stle of writing that I'm not used to, making it seem very new. I personally love the Naruto High school thing and now you made it where Naruto is SMART! I like that twist ^^ I never thought anyone would be brave enough to make Naruto preety smart and know a lot of big words, but you pulled it together wuite nicely! Still hoping for some NaruSasu/SasuNaru! >.
| Title: AWESOME
Reviewed By: anime _fan [MediaMiner Member] On: November 26, 2006 01:15 CST
Comment/Review:
loved it! OMG! GAARA!! and naruto being chibi! YAY! ^^ you should put naruto and gaara together!
| Title: Nice Fic
Reviewed By: VenusIsKnownForFlyTraps [MediaMiner Member] On: November 25, 2006 14:18 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Interesting..... But could Naruto tell if Hinata and Neji were related, or is that just you giving some extra information? Also, is evryone in that school punk?? You just make it seem like its a school for bad little boys. Its also kind of hard to remember what people are wearing. When you talk about them (narrarating[sp?]) you should talk about them using what they wear every once in a while {example[and this is a really bad example, I'm sure]: '"Dobe," the black-clad boy snarled with a certain hiss in his voice.'}. At other times you should use some pronouns, instead of saying their name over and over again. As for what you did with Anko, I think you should mix up what he thinks of her every once in a while(instead of just "the sadist"). Also, when describing, you don't have to say everything at once; its OK to sprinkle descriptions throughout. Like for Gaara you'd give main detains, then when he pops up in the story again you can give a quick recap of the last time he was seen [so the readers remember him] and give a better description. But for people that won't really be mentioned again, it's OK if you either say everything about them then, or just give a few details that support a general knowledge of what they look like; people are smart and can come up with stuff on their own that basiclly look like what you think of them as looking like [example: for Gaara you could have just said that he was dressed similar to Naru, but had a few additions including the necklace]. I think that'd work better for you since in the first chapter the reader doesn't really want to be reading a bunch of confusing descriptions, but when you get more people to read it they'll be more willing to read it since they might be wondering about details. Questions: Did Hinata graduate, and is that her job? How old is Kyuubi(she seems really young to be an archeologist[sp?])? Sorry if anything I said offended you or your writing style. Having your mom delete it, then getting critisized[sp?] isn't very fun.
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