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| "Final Fantasy VII" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: *Edit*
Reviewed By: Dead World On: May 17, 2007 09:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Did I say 1st period? I meant last period of the paragraph.
| Title: Hn.
Reviewed By: Dead World On: May 16, 2007 16:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
/rant on First off you can't see pitter patter. It's an onomatopoeia. Second of all Barret was not awaiting visitation rights for Marlene. That is NOT the reason she was staying with Tifa. Barret was working on a new energy source for a world that had just lost it's primary source of energy. An oil field is no place for a small child. If you're going to write about events that occurred after Advent Children... Don't you think you should actually WATCH Advent children? And not base your pedestrian story idea off of that which you have seen in other peons fan fiction? You have managed to turn some of the most charismatic, moving characters in to players in a teeny bopper melodrama. They are OOC ( that means Out of Character FYI) and for the love of GHOD Vincent's eyes are RED!!!! Beat the game, actually watch the movie, and THEN write about it. It really show that you don't know what the hell you're talking about when you don't know what the characters you're writing look like... >.> If you can't afford the movie try you tube or limewire. FFVII goes for pretty cheap now If you have a Playstation or even a PS2 (You can play PS1 games on PS2 BTW) then you CAN beat the game. I BELIEVE IN YOU!! If you need any help (as the only reason you could possably have for not having beaten the game is either that you were far too discombobulated by the junction system to carry on or you didn't actually KNOW that there was a game before this movie) there are PLENTY of guides on the internet to help you progress. Please don't rely on some hackjob's novelization of the game to see you through as they more often then not change something integral to the story which in addition to the whole IDEA of novelizing an RPG which is essentially a playable NOVEL, is really quite stupid. It was good of you to write in paragraph format... or at least try to. ( When I saw mention of paragraphs in your summary I said 'Oh Capital!') (...No. Not really... you should fix that by the way) However you should know that paragraphs usually begin with an indentation, and after the first period there is usually a line (Use the enter key for this) or two to separate it from the next paragraph. Do the above and then do a rewrite any you may have something resembling decent story. There is hope but not without hard work. Good Luck. /rant off
| Title: Noice
Reviewed By: FunkeeMunkiDaJunkee On: April 12, 2007 11:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very good story. don't stop writing; i hate cliffhangers. spelling might be off at times, but hey no ones perfect, right? Interesting choice of couples. never would have seen the vincent/yuffie thing coming. twisted but so very cool. keep up the good work and know that i'll be waiting for the end.
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