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"Living a Dream" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ]
 Title: Not bad
Reviewed By: Jehuty Zero [MediaMiner Member]  On: May 14, 2007 21:36 CDT
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
Could use a bit of clean-up and rewording but other then that, great fic.
 Reviewed By: Jyoohan [MediaMiner Member]  On: March 27, 2007 18:59 CDT
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
It's your first fic and I congrat you for your first try. Format-wise I think it's best that you stick with plain text and only use "bold" and "italics" when you want to emphasize something or something important is trying to be stated. Overall the story was a great run for you first try. Though it kind of got dragged along a bit, that's how I felt anyways. I'll be signing off now, my breaktime at work is almost over.
 Title: Not too bad
Reviewed By: ShadowFox0 [MediaMiner Member]  On: March 16, 2007 14:55 CDT
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
Hiya, let's us start off with the good qualities. I can definitely see you put a part of your heart into, even if you don't realize it. The story moves along fairly quickly, is a fun read, and really takes a grasp at human emotions. The emotions of it all are sometimes powerful and quite effective, while the sure fairy tale set-up comes out pretty well. With all that said I do have some issues. The dialogue tended to be sometimes over done or a bit cheesy in some places, and I believe it would have done better if you stuck to one of the three POV's. I can see why you would want to show all three points, but if you concentrate on one and do it very well the others aren't really needed. Also although you did call it short, it could have actually been shorter. I can see why you wouldn't want that, but there was a certain degree of useless information present that could have been taken out without any consequence. Maybe a bit more depth could have flushed out a longer length for you, or an extension of their meeting instead of pushing through it so quickly. Sorry if I'm criticizing more then I'm praising, I really did enjoy the read and see your talent. Overall it came together rather well. Good luck on your next work, whatever it shall be!

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