Reviewed By: Ebonyguitarchic [MediaMiner Member] On: July 30, 2007 23:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
First off please don't consider this a flame or let it defer you from writing anymore. I'm just trying to be helpful so you can either take my advice or just delete it and move on. 1.) It's really a bad thing to put that you can't write a summary up because readers will automatically pass it over thinking if you can't write a simple summary of your own story, you must not be able to write a story at all. (Also the obvious typo with the word 'just' doesn't bode well either) 2.)The layout is really confusing. The block format doesn't really entice the reader to actually begin because it isn't easy on the eyes. Try margins and indentations next time and it will be much easier on both you and your audience. 3.) There really isn't a better way to put this but your spelling and grammar are horrible. It's really a thing that if this were put in a Word document there is no way there couldn't have been the red and green lines all over. Try to find a beta to help you out or just go over your stuff in Word to help yourself. 4.) The idea of the story isn't actually bad. It has a lot of good points to it. You have a lot of new characters that weren't really introduced well they were just kinda thrown together. Not only that but they all have 'Mary Sue' traits. A good OC character doesn't take attention away from the Canon characters. You did a really bold thing to have a fic full of them but it usually takes a very advanced writer to be able to pull that off. Like I said don't let this put you off of writing just try a bit harder next time.
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