| "Cruel World" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] |
Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: August 20, 2008 10:13 CDT
Comment/Review:
personally i prefer a third person narrative especially when an 'author' writes bouncing POV's that repeat the same exact scene... like watching a tennis match with extremely frequent instant replays in slo-mo (tedious and redundant). relating a whole chapter or story in only one POV is just fine, i like how you're telling the story through kagome. ♣ bathing suit, huh? sounds like that would be interesting for her alter ego to pull off... or maybe akiro traded chores or responsibilities (like the turn to visit grampa at the nursing home or something) as an excuse that kikyo couldn't be there, then traded back as a favor to yasha. (that's just my guess). ♣ since wealthy business people tend to socialize with wealthy business people one wonders what the odds would be that yash and sesshoumaru's parents know the evil step father? ♦ entertaining story, well written. ♥ thank you, ginny
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: August 06, 2008 00:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
i guess it would be pretty hard to feel normal if you had to change identities every so often. typical teen angst compounded with not being able to be yourself... granted, part of the whole teen years is the whole 'finding out who you are' type thing... maybe it would be almost cathartic to pretend to be someone else entirely for a while but it would be hella confusing. . . maybe since the bad guy is looking for a single mother and two children... he isn't looking for a woman with three kids. although it would be very difficult to make a substantial identity for the third child... papers are easy but school attendance... home schooling would be better because the authorities (at least in pennsylvania) don't see the children, an independent evaluator can get their portfolios by mail and do an interview over the phone. you even get to print out your own diploma. . . sorry for rambling... good chapter, i guess yasha's nose isn't as good as his brother's. then again he didn't overhear anything that would cause him to be suspicious. ~ a pleasure, ginny
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Reviewed By: ladydeath31178 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2008 20:41 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this pretty good I look forward to future chapters
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Reviewed By: SailorKagome On: July 21, 2008 15:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very interesting! I hope you'll continue soon,it is a very original story.Somehow,it reminds me of Ouran High School Host Club.Although the plot is very different.Keep up the good work!
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2008 00:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
interesting and well written. i'm usually skeptical about highschool stories as most are almost unreadable. ~ thank you, ginny
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Reviewed By: angel_vez [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2008 02:31 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
yeah it's really interesting so far. can't wait to see where you go with it :>
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Reviewed By: catbaker [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2008 19:38 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is great so far! I'm not a huge fan of High school fics, but you've grabbed my attention with this one! I didn't read the previous version, so every thing in this story is fresh to me, and I really like what I've read so far!! good luck on the next chapter!
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