| Reviewed By: Desdinova [MediaMiner Member] On: August 10, 2010 12:06 CDT|
Style of Writing: 7 of 10Comment/Review:
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10
This isn't a bad story by any means, but it could be much better with a little more work. First off, the middle of the story suffers from bad formatting--virtually one HUGE paragraph. Second, please remove the obvious game references. Reading it should be immersion into that world, not like playing it with your friends. You will note that the game itself refers to faction types and armies, not groups. And NOBODY in the game refers to each other in terms of "Pally", "Huntard" or "Hordie", nor do they discuss each other in terms of levels or leveling. When using numbers, they should always be spelled out, with the exception of proper names ("101st Airborne Division", for example) A little effort will make this fic shine.