| "Jedite's Return" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: Katrina Kadabra [MediaMiner Member] On: August 15, 2002 07:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
My impression here is that if you're using the dubbed names Amara and Michellle, we're going by the dubbed story in which they are cousins. But your statement lets the audience know for sure, which is good.
I like how the story is developing so far. Things went a little fast towards the end; the weather scouts just kind of came in and I was left thinking, "Did we meet these characters before??" (But this comment coming from someone reading first thing in the morning.) Anyway, great start! I can't wait to see where you go with this. Also, make sure you make a new line for each time a new person speaks. That's just a grammar thing; it makes it easier for us the readers to follow the conversations. |
Reviewed By: Kitty On: August 12, 2002 19:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
yay! Amara likes Jedite..and Jedite likes Amara and it's sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! plz continue! please? with sugar, cheeries, sprinkles, whipped cream, and..stuff ontop? |
Reviewed By: digiobsessedfanatic On: August 07, 2002 21:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
uh dont you know amara and michelle arent cousins?
they were just dubbed like that cos there really lovers |
Reviewed By: Starheart [MediaMiner Member] On: August 06, 2002 07:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
Good beginning, I think that you will do a great job on this story. |
