Reviewed By: Agent Mio [MediaMiner Member] On: September 22, 2002 14:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ok, I gotta admit something to u Britt.. I enjoyed the overall concept of the story, and it's neat how you left the ending with a cliff-hanger.. buuut it seems as if your grammer is a bit poor.. for example::"Sure whatever, Alex... I mean Demon Alexiel" Kurai walks to the fridge and took out a Pepsi she got yesterday.It should probably be more like this:: "Sure, whatever Alex... I mean Demon Alexiel" Kurai walked over to the fridge and took out a Pepsi she bought yesterday. Sry to critisze your writing.. but try to write actions in past tense more, and fix sum spelling errors, k? |
