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"The Real Ryoko" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ]
Reviewed By: jenna_landale On: June 15, 2002 23:46 CDT Rating(s): Style of Writing: 9 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review: I think the style of your writing was very good. You have a good writing voice. Thats hard to find sometimes. Your spelling and grammar were great. I think there was just one typo in the whole thing which I don't really remember where it was so it doesn't really matter anyway I guess. I think you did a good job coming up with an original story and even a character outside of the masaki household. I really enjoyed the story itself so I gave it a 10. I gave the overall rating an 8 though. Not because I didn't love it because I did. I thought it was great. I just think you sold yourself short a little bit. I think you could have made the story a bit longer. And developed the plot a little more. Like the jealousy going on. Maybe not having him admit his love quite so soon. I think if you ever wanted to add a bit to the story you would do a good job because your style is very nice and I don't think you'd have a problem with it all. Well I hope to read more great fanfics from you soon. Bye bye. ~jenna_landale@hotmail.com
Reviewed By: kawaiiminor [MediaMiner Member] On: February 24, 2002 16:55 CST Comment/Review: i must totally disagree with you here sparrow, i think your story is really quirked O.o ryoko would not yell out something like that in such a romantic moment, and ryoko is the way she acts, she doesn't do it to be cool, or for her health, i think you totally messed up her character, and ayeka's. maybe you this is what you wanted, or maybe you should watch the show more often

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