Reviewed By: Storm_410 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 09, 2002 21:09 CST
Comment/Review:
Good story but you lost me at the end. Got up to the point where the elder Namek is making his wish and then... *POOF* confusion takes over. I think maybe your chapters are screwed up or something... You may also wnat to make your chapters longer. If your changing charactors it doesn't nessasaraly have to be a new chapter. A few ~~~ to split it up would do nicely. 200 words is just to short. its a paint o have to flip back and forth. try going for chapters 1000 words or more. Other then that its good! You have a very original plot going. I'm glad I got to read this. |
