| "Kage no Mai" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] |
Reviewed By: StriderWun On: March 16, 2003 01:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was well written...but it was kind of hard to swallow that all of the "bad guys" won the fights...I understand that good guys don't always win...butyou took some the greates fighters in video game history and made then lose...i understand it's your story and all...i just don't agree wiht it...it was too unbalanced.
But aside from that...it was very well written and pretty creative. The sex scenes were very good...although I found the kasumi sex scene to be a little out of place and pointless.
However...the fights were well done and the story was well concieved.
But my biggest criticism is the way Andy was handled...to me he was never that power hungry and blind...he was just a normal guy who was shit and trying to be the best...that's part of the reason for her love for him. I think there should have been more emphasis on Mai and Andy's relationship...because if she had loved him as much as she claimed...she wouldnt have been swept off so easy...but i guess that was the point. I just think everyone's perception of Andy is wrong most of the time...he didn't want to fuck Mai...he wanted it to be real..Not some physical relationship liek most guys would want...He was that way because he respected her.
Anyways...it hit me in the heart and I would have rathered Andy get a second chance with Mai...but it's your story and you did it well. I personally would have liekd to see the bogards come through in the end...and Mai to see the light...
I don't agree with alot of it...but it was still an enjoyable read...this has inspired me to write one...Maybe kind of the same story only with a different perspective.
StriderWun |
Reviewed By: StriderWun On: March 15, 2003 19:01 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
OOOPS.
Haha...didnt see you wrote 3 of these.
Guess I won't get my wish.
:(
Strider. |
Reviewed By: StriderWun On: March 15, 2003 18:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this story. Good action and good detail in the sexual encounter. You captured the painful realization Andy comes to very clearly. The fighting was great and you didn't just show sex for sex...You built it up and let us in the charcters heads...This is why the story is so good...to many authors just trhow some characters in and have them start fucking...this was better than that. It hard to describe the feelin you get when you see someone lose there loved one and have them go give themselves away...it's sensual, painful and shocking.
Anyways...I'd like to read the continuation...Because I think Terry coming in and perhaps being a hero and a goof big brother to Andy would be interesting. Terry's fighting skills would be interesting to see against this new guy...besides...never know what could happen between Terry and Mai right? or even good ol' Joe.
Let the good guys win this time ok?
lol...Anyways...I'd like to see Mai's reaction the day after and see if she is consious of her decision and if she is ready to live with the consequences.
This could even better if you'd take the time to finish the story.
Peace. Respect.
And also..i don't think you like Andy much...but you still handled him with respect and honesty...I would personally like you think about his perspective more...he isnt a dumbass or some thicked head guy...he's just not the parting type and wants Mai to respect herself...that and he's more shy than he lets on. Hopefully Mai can see this in the next story and realize why he acts the way he does...the same way he realized why she acts liek she does.
Anywas...good job. Write more!
Strider. |
Reviewed By: E.Wojo [MediaMiner Member] On: February 26, 2003 18:34 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Don't listen to those flamers. They wouldn't know a good story if it bit them on the butt. |
Reviewed By: celtic_ice On: February 24, 2003 04:02 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok granted Yuri isnt my thing, and I agree with Ok granted Yuri isn’t my thing, and I agree with the previous review that first 4 flamers have no right to sit there and rant the way they are. I have seen like you do this to perfectly good fic's for no other reason then you think your idea of a perfect pairing is the only ideal pairing and you have no right to force that upon others. I have seen Hiei’s reviews of some other fic’s, and they are not nearly as insulting or flame oriented as yours, and he voices his opinion and does not try to force it upon you, and for this you got his stories removed from FF.net which is inexcusable behavior, he never did such things to your fic’s. I am not sure what upsets me more you rudeness at instantly flaming his stories whenever he posts them someplace or the fact that you go looking for then on fan fic archive just so you can go flame them.
On a second note I love to read fighting game fan fic’s and was happy to see Hiei and his friends had found this site, I may not be a all out advocate of his stories but I do know talent when I see it, if you don’t like his pairings do not read his stories, however if you just want to razz someone for not agreeing with your opinion on pairings and story lines do not do it here, we do not need another ff.net flame war in a reviews section just because authors do not get along.
As for the pairing itself, I happen to agree Andy is a fruitcake and Mai needs another romantic interest. I understand the Aoshi here is not the Aoshi from Kenshin but his grandchild and based off him, that’s fine I have no problem with that. However I do not believe that a relationship founded on lies and deceit will last very long either. So I am not really for this pairing either
The writing style is unique and has a decent flow to it, if this story was something I was into personally I would have enjoyed it much more, the grammar and spelling also make for the smooth flow of the story. The fight scenes a bit long and to much is focused on them, but considering all of the character come from fighting games or anime based on large amounts of combat it does fit in.
The story has a cohesive plot, which is also appealing; I am just not in tune with the constant fight scenes and Yuri pairings. |
Reviewed By: Tenshi On: February 24, 2003 03:38 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Who the Hell do you people think you are?
If you don't like a damn good story with detailed fights and better sex, that's your right, and express it however you like.
But who the Hell do you think you are telling anyone not to use a free speach site to express themselves?
I, for one, am very greatful to have all of these stories where I can easily find them, where they don't get imediatly grabbed by every parental supervisor in existance, and where they can boot up fast an easy to print.
So if you have something to say, say it. And if you don't like what someone says, don't listen. |
Reviewed By: gh On: February 22, 2003 18:25 CST
Comment/Review:
You have a lot of nerve telling people not to review if they don't like the story (and putting their comments on your own website without their permission to boot). Especially since you're so hard on stories you don't like. Why are you under the impression that the world revolves around you, that everyone who disagrees with you is "mindless"? Answer me. |
Reviewed By: lain On: February 22, 2003 16:08 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
I agree with a previous reviewer: why can't you keep this on your own site? |
Reviewed By: A. T. On: February 18, 2003 16:15 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dude, why can't you just keep you shit on your OWN site? |
Reviewed By: redb On: February 18, 2003 16:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, you knew this was coming from me. Aoshi is a horrible alternative to Andy, yadda yadda yadda.
Just giving you a little taste of your own medicine. |
