Reviewed By: Kaeli [MediaMiner Member] On: December 15, 2003 09:37 CST
Comment/Review:
I'll be reviewing each chapter and just pointing out a few things here and there. I find it much more helpful for people to review each chapter and point out differences in each one. ^_^ First, when you do a flash back or some kind of dream-type thing, I think it would be best to have it in italics so that readers will know what is going on. Second, I would use some more detail (^__^). I don't mean overly describe everything in the fic, but just do some things more. The description you had for the main character was great. Third, and this is just an observation from watching the Frieza Saga (although long ago), I had always thought that Zarbon had a blueish-green or lightish blue color skin. It could very well just be me. Fourth, the length (^_^). It is short, but whatever you feel comfortable with. I would suggest trying to set a standard amount of pages and/or words for each chapter so you know what to put into it, how many pages it is, etc. If you set a min. number of pages for yourself, say about four, then you know you need to at least that many pages per chapter. And, forthly, the Author's note. Although it does explain why you are continuing this from another author, I wouldn't have the 'shameless plugs' in there. *shrugs* It's just me, though. I did enjoy the first chapter of this and will continue to read the rest. I may or may not leave a review for all of the chapters, as that is still uncertain.
|
