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| "bad puppy" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] | Reviewed By: sephonei [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2009 20:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
It wasn't that bad for your first try. I think that you should definitely not use chat speak(ex. u instead of you) and make sure you run a grammar check too. Maybe you could have someone else, like a friend, read over your work and tell you if you are missing punctuation and such. I would also use some more details and extend some scenes. It seems that it was written a little hastily, but not too bad. I would like to see some more of your work in the future. ^_^
| Reviewed By: Darkness Kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: November 20, 2004 17:26 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
good job for your first lemon but i agree with Ta-kun make it longer and spell check... but other than that good try for your first lemon
| Title: -_-
Reviewed By: Ta-kun On: August 17, 2004 14:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, I think you moved the story too fast! I mean first it was Kagome in the hot spring (You should of made the washing scene longer, then hher masturbating (Again you shoud of made this longer), and then you quickly threw in the sex, and it went really fast. For your first lemon, I would say...well I would say good try. Practice a little more, and try and use ABC check. Also, when you write a story, you shouldn't shorten it to instant messaging talk. Like instead of, "I love u Inu-Yasha," Put, "I love you Inu-Yasha". It will make your writing more understandable, and profesional. As for the other idiots, who were rude to you without saying what you could work on. Just ignore them, they're idiots who probably don't even have the guts to write lemons, afraid that people will flame them rudly. (Seems familuar don't it? Celestial_X?)
| Reviewed By: angel0fs0rr0w666 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2004 01:36 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
whoops, forgot to put ratings!! silly ol' moi ^_~
| Reviewed By: angel0fs0rr0w666 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2004 01:35 CST
Comment/Review:
YeAh CeLeStIaL, dont be a bitch just coz it was her first lemon, she could right what she was. i'd be hasty about the sex part too because im nervous about the sexual innuendo i havent experienced... but yeah, my first lemon was... er, a bit lower than okay but a bit higher on the bad... Oh, so i just put this on to say this, Celestial = CRAM IT WHERE THE SUN DONT SHINE. i liked it, pretty good for a first lemon ^_^ ::sticks toungue out at celestial:: dont be mad if you cant write, and dont get mad at me for stating the facts, go spank sumwun. =}
| Reviewed By: Naomi_Ikahen [MediaMiner Member] On: December 26, 2003 23:27 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yah know Celestial, you could at least give some constructive critism instead of just throwing your insults right at her face like she has no feelings. If you were to insult her and her work, then you might as well go insult all of the other beginners out there. She's got the freedom of writing and she can do whatever she wishes with it, disregarding how good or bad her skills are. And I'm sure all the great writers out there once started like this, so technically, you're insulting them too. So just shut it and keep your abusive comments to yourself. By the way erm o.O Well... yeah you were kinda hasty, but for a first time your lemon's satisfactory. Just call it a PWP I guess.
| Reviewed By: Sundragon (not signed on) On: December 12, 2003 19:20 CST
Comment/Review:
Ignore celestial_x! It was great! I'm a horrible lemon writer, but I do enjoy them. This was good. Adios!
| Reviewed By: Biganimefan1 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 01, 2003 06:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
dont be it was really good
| Reviewed By: Artemis_of_NewMoon [MediaMiner Member] On: June 08, 2003 22:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Comment/Review:
LOL. OMFG! LOL! that was soooo dame funny!LOL.You write good but i do think ur a lil hasty in what u write.Take a deep breath and go find ur lover. u need to release a few of these thoughts with him or her befor you do a diffrent story. and next time try Kagome and Sess-chan. i like that couple better.LOL OW hell. | Reviewed By: celestial_x On: June 06, 2003 21:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10 Comment/Review:
look, if you wanna write hastily thrown together, amature smut, go ahead. but, please, dont put inu yasha's name on it. |
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