Reviewed By: Lady Pesh [MediaMiner Member] On: June 26, 2003 18:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Style of writing: I like it because it makes me feel like I'm listening to one of my older relatives tell me a story. It has a cozy, nostalgic comfort in the flow and tone. Due to this, I think you should set this as a first person narration. Perhaps have a first person voice appear occasionally in the story then gently shift back into the characters' view. Think "The Wonder Years," "The Princess Bride," or "A Christmas Story." I realize they're movies, but you get my drift. ^_^
Spelling & Grammar: Just a few spots that a fine-toothed beta can fix in spelling and word usage. ('Off' instead of 'Of' and 'Meant' instead of 'Mean'). The grammar problems I spotted can be chalked up to style.
Originality/Creativity: Who is that man and where can I find him? ^_^ Intriguing. You really caught my interest when the envelope was opened. I've honestly never come across a story set up like this.
Enjoyment Factor: There's room to grow, but I'm sure you're fully aware of that. Keep going, this story has a strong potential to be great.
Overall: This is simply the average of the previous scores.
You're doing well with this, don't let this one die. ^____^ |
